Why do people assume hypochondriacs are really just immature attention seekers?

[Meriland30]

It drives me nuts cause of the incredible willful ignorance that really...can never be truly understood. I've tried to confide in people before only to be judged that I was talking like an idiot and to "grow up". On the other hand, other people generally assume it's a ploy to get attention..and while I am seeking answers for something I am legitimately scared out of my mind over, the last thing on my mind is my ego.

I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy to ridicule and poke at someone so vulnerable and terrified. It's like the equivalent of coming up to someone who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and being like "total faker, get a life". Obviously most of us hypochondriacs don't have terminal disease, but we truly, honestly believe it...and that feeling I think should be respected even though not understood. I don't think hypochondriacs are immature, just the same as I don't think depressed people are immature, or suicidal people, or people with any mental health issues.

[NervUs]

It's like the equivalent of coming up to someone who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and being like "total faker, get a life".

Uh, absolutely not. It is not anywhere near the ballpark of equivalent to getting a diagnosis because those people are actually living a nightmare, where we are imagining it.

I am just going to be honest. I am a hypochondriac, and it IS a self-indulgent and selfish mental disorder. Is it attention seeking? I don't know. I think it can be, honestly. I'm not sure the hypochondria is concocted TO get attention, but in my opinion, it is a way of trying to claim that you (general) are important enough to worry about and that if you poofed away, you would be missed, that you meant something. For a lot of people, HA is exacerbated by parenthood, and lots of people worry about how their kids could survive without them. In that way, it is about emphasizing importance to other people, and that applies to other relationships as well.

[Kevinor762]

As a person with health anxiety, I think that I do not think my HA seeks attention.. It more or less DRAWS attention if it makes any sense.

[KM92]

I think HA is my way of controlling the uncertainty of life, it’s a defense mechanism that intensifies under stress... hence the reassurance seeking and checking behaviours, it links to entrenched beliefs about ‘complacency’ and knowing as many ‘facts’ as possible to help with my understanding and perception of my future in the world.
Yes, it appears, and is often, self indulgent. Though I never feel my prerogative is to ascertain ‘attention’, I just want to quieten my head and fears. I often apologise profusely at the distress I cause my partner and family, I let down friends and constantly feel like I’m wasting peoples time.
The view of hypochondria is very black and white, “you make up you’re ill for attention”, though that may be ‘true’ on a simplicstic level, when you look at the individual mechanisms of such behaviour, it is very dismissive to categorise in such a cold manner.

[Fishmanpa]

As a person with health anxiety, I think that I do not think my HA seeks attention.. It more or less DRAWS attention if it makes any sense.

That's true in a lot of ways. It seems the more fantastic the imagination or subject matter, the more attention it gets. It's like rubber-necking when there's a car accident. Everyone slows down to look. While others are kind of like a dead carcass we barely notice as we drive over the fur and guts in the road. At the same time, the attention feeds the dragon and additional reassurance reinforcing behaviors can develop.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

Uh, absolutely not. It is not anywhere near the ballpark of equivalent to getting a diagnosis because those people are actually living a nightmare, where we are imagining it.

I am just going to be honest. I am a hypochondriac, and it IS a self-indulgent and selfish mental disorder. Is it attention seeking? I don't know. I think it can be, honestly. I'm not sure the hypochondria is concocted TO get attention, but in my opinion, it is a way of trying to claim that you (general) are important enough to worry about and that if you poofed away, you would be missed, that you meant something. For a lot of people, HA is exacerbated by parenthood, and lots of people worry about how their kids could survive without them. In that way, it is about emphasizing importance to other people, and that applies to other relationships as well.

Then you could say it not about how important the person is demanding they are but that the importance is on those they feel they will leave behind. That certainly seems more plausible for parents. I wasn't sure if that was what you meant in your last sentence?

I think this in complicated issue. Why? Because mental health disorders don't work in a vacuum, they will also bring in your personality. Some people are naturally more independent than others. Those who are more in need for reassurance in everything are going to be needier in your HA than someone who has always been more independent. Self confidence, self esteem, personality traits, upbringing, they are all going to feed in somewhere hence we see so many deviations on here (and that's before we get into severities and different mental health disorders i.e. OCD vs the various Somatoform Disorders).

So, some may have elements of attention seeking going on but I think there is still the turmoil of the anxiety so it's a world away from true attention seeking. It's hardly comparable to a celeb Tweeting what shoes they have bought this week to get some likes off their fan army.

And the same question could be asked of many more complex mental health disorders such as certain personality disorders, schizophrenia, etc.

[NervUs]

Then you could say it not about how important the person is demanding they are but that the importance is on those they feel they will leave behind. That certainly seems more plausible for parents. I wasn't sure if that was what you meant in your last sentence?



I am a parent and, sure, there is true concern about what leaving the child behind will do to the child and fear of hurting the child. But, I don't think hypochondria is all about concern for others. Not by a long shot. In my experience, it becomes a way to explore and affirm a "need" to be needed. There is self-gratification wound up in there, even if it is a warped kind of self gratification. I don't think it's right, as the original post seemed to do in my reading, to justify hypochondria or to make it seem anything less than it is- which is seriously annoying and maddening to the people around us. It's legitimate for people in our lives to criticize us and not want to take it, since it imposes on them massively, in many cases (if not all cases)

I wasn't able to explain fully what I was thinking in the moment, because I DID have a child who needed me, lol. Unfortunately, I have created a sleep monster. And I am exhausted now myself.

[Meriland30]

Uh, absolutely not. It is not anywhere near the ballpark of equivalent to getting a diagnosis because those people are actually living a nightmare, where we are imagining it.

I am just going to be honest. I am a hypochondriac, and it IS a self-indulgent and selfish mental disorder. Is it attention seeking? I don't know. I think it can be, honestly. I'm not sure the hypochondria is concocted TO get attention, but in my opinion, it is a way of trying to claim that you (general) are important enough to worry about and that if you poofed away, you would be missed, that you meant something. For a lot of people, HA is exacerbated by parenthood, and lots of people worry about how their kids could survive without them. In that way, it is about emphasizing importance to other people, and that applies to other relationships as well.


By me comparing the situation was by feeling only. Outside of yourself, the idea looks foolish, seems foolish, seems many things but if you are the person inside, it is and feels extremely real and frightening. Last time I went to the ER due to a..I guess you could call a breakdown, they had to pin me down and give me a large sedative cause they were afraid I was going to give myself a stroke since my heart rate was around 210 BPM and I was legitimately freaking out. Why did this happen? Cause I was on Dr. Google because of symptoms and self diagnosed myself with CJD. I was so convinced I had it, that my husband forced me to go to the ER after I vomited profusely in complete fear. This is what I am talking about here.

There is no hidden meaning behind hypochondria, no plan, no objective other than to get reassurance that you aren't dying which, in and of itself is a 'form' of selfish behaviour, but the term 'seeking attention', especially when used negatively to define how people like us operate is defined as a deliberate need for sympathy and the need to be seen. When I am scared out of my mind, I need someone to be like "oh, yeah, I have that happen all the time" so I can feel like "okay, if this person had this happen, then maybe I don't have it" and chill out. It is the only temporary solution to keeping my head together and it enlightens me cause, being in that funk, you look ridiculous, but really, you've just lost the ability to reason with yourself... to be practical...and all of us hypochondriacs know that, and that is a huge part of why we ask others, cause we know they are able to provide a quick, realistic, and practical answer.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I am a parent and, sure, there is true concern about what leaving the child behind will do to the child and fear of hurting the child. But, I don't think hypochondria is all about concern for others. Not by a long shot. In my experience, it becomes a way to explore and affirm a "need" to be needed. There is self-gratification wound up in there, even if it is a warped kind of self gratification. I don't think it's right, as the original post seemed to do in my reading, to justify hypochondria or to make it seem anything less than it is- which is seriously annoying and maddening to the people around us. It's legitimate for people in our lives to criticize us and not want to take it, since it imposes on them massively, in many cases (if not all cases)

I wasn't able to explain fully what I was thinking in the moment, because I DID have a child who needed me, lol. Unfortunately, I have created a sleep monster. And I am exhausted now myself.

Yes, parental insomnia requires a whole load of different sleep hygiene steps...then collapsing in a heap until the insomnia machines wake up jumping all over you :biggrin:

It's legitimate to criticise it but I think the OP's argument is more about ignorance of mental health issues. In terms of loved ones though it shouldn't be any more of an inconvenience than a physical problem but perhaps we have to keep in mind that frustrated partners will snap over those too?

The "something missing" element crosses anxiety disorders as I know in my GAD it has seized on areas where I lacked confidence already.

[Mindprison]

I would say that all mental health issues are a problem and have the potential to be serious. All of them for their own reasons.

Health anxiety seems to be one of the more common ones and I think the media and internet have a part in that.

How often do you see ridiculous reports in newspapers about how something is now linked to an increase cancer risk or something?

Just at the weekend on the front page I saw "daily aspirin use increases skin cancer risk"

We're constantly having medical news shoved in our faces and the ease of access to websites like webMDand Mayoclinic is it any wonder how some of us have ended up in such a state?

I have no doubt that my condition frustrates my doctors as the last thing they want to see is a healthy person's life ruined by worrying about their health.

[AnxiousinCali]

I'm sure that everyone who has this issue of health anxiety relates to it differently, but in my case, I would say it is a very subtle form of attention seeking (mostly from myself, and not others). I've spent a lot of time trying to get to the bottom of my own anxiety, and I totally see it's origins in my upbringing. Great parents, but a little clueless when it came to raising me, making space for me to be me, listening to my feelings, etc. As a result, I just freak out when I feel like I need to be seen instead of calmly asking others or myself what might make me feel better.

BUT when other people say things like "you're just saying that to get attention", I think it betrays an utter lack of compassion for the experience of an anxiety sufferer. People who don't have it just can't know how painful it is and how badly we'd prefer to NOT have it. How could they? It can be painful to hear things like that, but I don't think it's intentionally insensitive or cruel. They've just been lucky enough to never go through something like this, so they have no clue.

[AMomentofClarity]

Like anything else, hypochondria occurs on a scale from mild to severe, and with different approaches to it. You can find multiple examples of each right here on the site.

For some people it’s a quick “I’m worried about XYZ, has anybody ever had it before”, followed by a handful of replies, and a “thanks for the responses, you’re probably right” from the OP. That’s fairly normal and not selfish/attention seeking for the most part.

But then there are the threads that start with “I’m worried about XYZ”, the poster receives hundreds of replies, refuses to acknowledge them or answer people’s questions, and just continuously posts about symptoms time and time again, often times with hyperbole or attempts to draw emotion.
That is absolutely 100% attention seeking and selfish. Don’t post to an anxiety forum if you’re not willing to listen to responses.