HA was right before, scared it could be again

[Nelloc]

When I was around 12/13 I would always look up scoliosis stories after being recommended one on YouTube and from then on it was always a fear in the back of my mind, as spinal surgery terrified me. When I was 14 I discovered I actually did have scoliosis and ended up needing a spinal fusion a year after putting it off due to my anxiety.

Anyways, I’m now fixated on the idea I have lymphoma due to a a few swollen glands I have (one in front of right ear and one behind) I saw the doctor a few weeks ago due to ear pain and pressure and was told I have a lot of fluid in my ears. Realistically I’m thinking it’s related to that. However I also had glandular fever just over 2 years ago and being in a peak age range for lymphoma apparently (I’m 18 now) and reading that it tends to occur around 2/3 years after the virus I’m scared. The nodes haven’t gotten bigger or anything and I’ve had them since March, I thought the one in front of my ear was an acne cyst as first since it hurt really bad and I do suffer from acne, but after googling (smart move) it’s in the parotid gland or something? To be honest swollen glands have always been something the doctor has pointed out if I’m ill. I can’t stop googling and I’m now getting suggestions on YouTube and adverts about it and it’s taking over my life. And yes, I have had CBT before but the waiting list for it again is months long. I’m just scared of being right again, this is honestly a nightmare. Has anybody else had similar fears/experience?

[Mindprison]

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Health anxiety at its core is an overawareness of ones body to the point of obsession.

Hyperawareness and hypervigilance will cause you to feel things in your body that you could have had for years but are now only just noticing.

So, last year I had urination problems for 3 months then it went away for a month then came back for 3 months again. It was all anxiety related but I went to get checked anyway. Turns out I have chronic prostatitis but the diagnosis was a total coincidence since it was being made worse by the anxiety and its only then it started giving me severe symptoms.

Its just not possible for you to have every severe health problem that your mind is telling you that you have. You would be a medical mystery if you did.

I know where you're coming from. Its easy to think "but I was right that one time".

Just remember that for every 1 occasional time your hypervigilance catches something, there are a hundred or more other times where it is absolutely wrong.

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Also just to add. The majority of people who have had glandular fever do not end up with cancer. You've had an ear problem and your lymph nodes are reacting to it.

[anxious123]

i too have many swollen glands in my neck and had glandular fever a year ago, i am a 17 year old male, and have been worried for months cannot take my mind off of it. have had normal blood results but still so scared, how are you doing?? good to have someone in a similar situation

[Nelloc]

Thank you for your replies, Ive been trying to forget about lymph nodes for the past few months but it’s always in my subconscious thoughts. I’ve even been having dreams and in those I’d feel the lymph nodes and they’d be doubled in size or huge. There’s been no change in the past few months, if anything slightly smaller but I can’t stop worrying. From my stupid google searches I did months ago (haven’t searched since I made the original post) every time I get itchy I panic, I had a bad shaving rash the other day which made my anxiety skyrocket because of the itchiness symptom. I’ve probably made the nodes shotty now by messing around with them literally 24/7. It’s so stupid. I don’t even think they’re swollen, must be 1cm if that, I just prod and poke and feel them. Also, they started off hurting when I had my ear problems and cystic acne. But why can’t I stop worrying? I constantly try to reassure myself, it’s been 3/4 months, surely there would’ve been a significant change by then? I just want to get on with my life but this constant worry is taking over everything, I went to a concert the other day and was poking and prodding and I kept zoning out thinking about the nodes.


i too have many swollen glands in my neck and had glandular fever a year ago, i am a 17 year old male, and have been worried for months cannot take my mind off of it. have had normal blood results but still so scared, how are you doing?? good to have someone in a similar situation

I know most people would say the blood results would be reassuring but it’s so hard to not think about it isn’t it, I hope you’re doing better now though since your post was back in May. I will add that my boyfriend also had glandular fever around the same time as me and he has enlarged nodes under his armpit that never went down, ive read that it can just cause them to stay enlarged. I have one in my neck that is from then that doesn’t concern me, but the ones near my ears are smaller and do worry me. I hate anxiety, it’s just irrational. When you look up stuff relating to glandular fever there’s a lot of scary stuff, but it’s reassured me to think how common glandular fever is, especially in teenagers and young adults, (I think like over 90% of the population has the virus) and how rare lymphoma is in younger people. But then you get the other side of you thinking well, people will still be unlikely and have lymphoma, that’s where the stats come from.

It’s such a vicious cycle.