Can't face this

[bashley]

Hi all,
I'm due to go on holiday in a weeks time and really can't face it. I suffer from anxiety, over the years my doctors have been fed up with me keep going there, they say i have had lots of tests and all are ok and all my symptoms are anxiety. But I can't see that it is, as I feel so ill. I never go on holiday as i get so scared of being away from home and always worry that something will hapoen to me. I am having therapy and my therapist said I must go on holiday and not keep going to the doctor for reassurance, so now i'm more anxious as the palpitations are pretty much constant and i get this awful feeling like I can't breathe and my chest gets so tight, and i feel hot and faint. I'm so tired and my legs feel heavy, can you really feel this ill with anxiety, i'm worried it's something wrong with my heart. I have had lots of heart tests in the past and were ok this is why my doctor gets annoyed as he says its anxiety and not my heart and i just need to think positive but i feel so ill that i'm in such a state and cannot stop crying I hate being away from home. Please anyone are these anxiety symptoms

[welsh girl]

Yes, you can feel that ill believe me, but you know it is only anxiety and that it won't do you any harm, I am so like you, I should practice what I preach, and feel ashamed like you of not wanting to go on holiday,or even going to my friends to visit .
However I have decided to go to a reputable Hypnotist and have a course to rid me of this stupid way of thinking once and for all think about it too

[bashley]

Thank you Welsh girl for your reply, I think I feel worse as I have always gone to my doctor before going away to get him to check me over so that I get reassurance but both my therapist and husband have told me not to, as they say this feeds into my anxiety. So this is even harder for me as I am just getting consumed with all these symptoms thinking there is something seriously wrong. I'm so scared, I wake up in total fear and panic and go to bed crying. I hate being like this. :weep:

[bashley]

Hi,
I can't stop crying i'm in such a state. I am due to go on hiliday next week and I'm petrified. I have suffered for years with anxiety, ocd and PTSD and i'm having therapy. I avoid going anywhere from home as home is my safe place. But I am due to go away for a whole week with my husband and his parents as its his mums 70th, my heart keeps racing, i've had the missed beats and everything else i feel so ill, my legs feel heavy and sometimes i just get this hot feeling and my chest gets tight and i feel like I can't breather and feel like i will pass out. I have had lots of tests over the years as i'm always worrying about my health especially my heart, and my doctors are always fed up with me and say i've had loads of tests over the years and its all anxiety. But can i really feel this ill with anxiety. I always worry that something will happen to me when i'm away, and I hate leaving my children behind, my therapist says they are in their 20's so are not little children but still i get this aching inside about being away from them. Nirmally i go to my doctors for reassurance before going away but my therapist and husband have bith said not to as i get in a panic about what the doctor will say and that only feeds into my anxiety. I feel like running away but i know that will not help. Why do i get like this everytime i'm away from homei really feel so tired and drained and just can't accept that this is anxiety symptoms. I hate being like this, with the missed beats, palps and aches is this really anxiety? 😢

[AnxiousinCali]

I'm so sorry you're struggling like this. Given your post, and the amount of tests you have had, I'd say it's a safe bet to trust your doctors that this is anxiety. I can totally relate to the house being the "safe space" and feeling worse when you need to leave it. But that's so very clearly anxiety. I mean, what medical condition would even prompt something like that?

It's hard when you need to do something that you wouldn't naturally do, especially with anxiety. But it's so, so great to do it. Can you make sure you have a quiet place to regroup if you get overwhelmed? Do you have any songs or meditations that put you at ease?

[bashley]

Hi,
Its so hard for me, my husband knows how I am and I am mainly trying to go on this holiday for him as he works so hard and says he really needs a holiday, but now its getting nearer i'm getting worse. I haven't stopped crying today, his mother is lovely but doesn't understand my anxiety, so she will not be much help. They are all looking forward to it but I am dreading it. The thought of being on a ship for 7 nights and being away from my daughter is breaking my heart. I really don't know how I am going to do it, my chest is aching and my heart keeps racing.

[AnxiousinCali]

I hear you, and I understand. I think it warrants a conversation with your husband, if you already had one already. Something along the lines of, "I want to go to support you and your family, but I am really low with this anxiety right now. I wish more than anything that it wasn't like this, but it is. Can we talk a bit more about how this trip will look, and what we can do to make sure I don't impede the celebrations?"

There are certain activities that I simply need to opt out from, and I absolutely detest that. But I know that I need to do it for my sanity. And then there are activities that I just need to get over myself and do for the sake of others around me, and to not let my anxiety win. You're the only person that knows which is which.

I'm new here - are you doing anything to help with your anxiety like therapy or meds?

[bashley]

Hi,
Thanks again for replying, I am on beta blockers to help with the anxiety and my doctor always lets me have some Diazapam for when I get realky anxious about being away from home, but ny therapist really does not want me to take it. My mother in law likes to drink lots of alcohol which I don't so I akways feel left out as I can't let myself go and do things like dancing etc. I really hate this, many oeople would love to be going on holiday but not me. I really don't like being away from my daughter and my home. I haven't left my house today as i feel like just locking myself away but i know this won't help.😢

[AnxiousinCali]

Sounds like there's a mix of stuff going on, which I totally get. I've recently stopped drinking alcohol because of some stomach issues, and I can tell it makes my friends a little wary. Not in a bad way, they're just used to me liking to partake! But, honestly, I just had to get over that because that's on me. And I don't want to have to drink to let loose. So, there's something you might be able to let go of, you know? Let your MIL do her thing, enjoy it from afar, and try to just ease up and dance without it!

I'm also having a locked in my home day (but it's only 8:30 AM by me), but I'm resolved not to let that take over. I've got to run an errand, am going to try to swim, and then see a friend. It feels like TORTURE to think about doing it, but I always feel better afterwards. And if I want to feel better, as opposed to feeling comfortable in my misery, I need to push myself.

Sending positive vibes your way no matter what you decide to do today or how to approach the trip. You're not alone with this horrible stuff.

[bashley]

Thank you so much for being so kind. Positive vibes to you too for the rest of the day

[venusbluejeans]

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

Emmz