DanD90
09-05-18, 23:29
Hi all, so i'm fairly new to this forum and have joined because my anxiety has gotten much worse in the last 1/2 years. I am currently going through a hard time at work and don't know if it is stress related/ or anxiety, or both.
A bit about me, I work and commute full time to a job that's 45 minutes distance from home. I have a partner who lives long distance (1hr 30 minutes away) from my usual home who I see at weekends. I love my partner to bits and we've been together for 3+ years, so I don't mind the drive although it is a long way. I have only known that I suffer anxiety for the last 2 years, but I think it's been a problem for many years before that - without my knowledge. I am typically someone that tries not to let the anxiety get me down, but at the moment that is really being tested, and my anxiety is terrible.
In late 2016 I suffered asthma and went to the doctors for medication for it. They prescribed me with a high dosage of prednisolone. Ever since then, I haven't felt the same person I was before and my anxiety has been worse, but usually controllable as long as I don't overdo it. In 2017 I found my anxiety to be higher/lower depending on how much I took on and my work/life balance. In 2018, my anxiety has started skyrocketing.
One thing I have noticed at work is that my anxiety can get bad in any of these circumstances: meetings, too many deadlines, presentations. I am a graphic designer for my full time job, which I love doing but can be a high-pressure job.
Recently, my job/work has began to make mandatory monthly meetings, all across different areas of London, which is miles away from where I work or live. This has created a lot of problems for me in my job, I have way less time to check over incoming work, It's such a long way to go and they make it as difficult as possible to claim back on expenses, these meetings last all day and usually go past the scheduled time, and what's worse is I feel incredibly anxious throughout it all. When i'm sat in these meetings, I shake/twitch, my palms go sweaty, I feel like my heart rate is out of control, I find it difficult to breathe, I do suffer from panic attacks and feel trapped, basically I really struggle. For the last 3 weeks, i've had to go all the way to London for 1/2 days a week to attend these mandatory meetings. I've been in my job for the last 4 years, but these compulsory meetings have only been a recent thing in the last 3 months.
I've noticed my productivity has been really affected by these meetings, but I am also anxious in the leadup to the other upcoming meetings that are pencilled in the calendar. I've already done 2 out of the 3 meetings for this month but I already feel horrendous, and like 1 more is just too much. The last one will be a 10am start till 9pm, with an overnight stay and then more work the following day.
I feel like I am carrying the weight of it all and like if I attend this third meeting (which is training) I will be signed off for weeks/months. I don't want to be in that situation.
Before these sudden mandatory meetings, I didn't feel quite so stressed or anxious, and the anxiety was more under control. But at the moment, I am really feeling the weight of these demands, and to the point that I am no longer enjoying my job.
I need help with how to deal with this anxiety when it is heightened, because at times when it is bad it goes way out of control. But before I blame it all on me, I am not sure if my work is being unreasonable with these meetings. Then again, they are unaware of my anxiety.
I don't like the anxiety to dictate what I do or make me avoid situations, and I feel like at the moment it is doing that, which is in itself a problem.
I am not on any medication other than asthma inhalers, and the occasional tablets for hayfever. Other than that, I have gone from Jan 2017 to now without any anxiety-related medication.
My brother relies on medication for anxiety and is a complete hermit to the point he avoids nearly all his uni lectures.
My personal life is not affected much by stress, but I have had thoughts of other ways to cope, but that can branch into smoking/drinking/drugs which I am not really into. And I can't imagine that will make my anxiety any better...
I have just reached a point where my anxiety is not controllable anymore in the circumstances i've been put in, maybe I am taking on too much at the minute. I don't want my current stress/anxiety to affect the rest of my life, and shut out my partner, or avoid work altogether because of the way I feel.
Any support or advice would be appreciated. I want to feel free of my anxiety and not let it beat me, as well as figure out some way of reducing my stress.
Thanks,
Dan
A bit about me, I work and commute full time to a job that's 45 minutes distance from home. I have a partner who lives long distance (1hr 30 minutes away) from my usual home who I see at weekends. I love my partner to bits and we've been together for 3+ years, so I don't mind the drive although it is a long way. I have only known that I suffer anxiety for the last 2 years, but I think it's been a problem for many years before that - without my knowledge. I am typically someone that tries not to let the anxiety get me down, but at the moment that is really being tested, and my anxiety is terrible.
In late 2016 I suffered asthma and went to the doctors for medication for it. They prescribed me with a high dosage of prednisolone. Ever since then, I haven't felt the same person I was before and my anxiety has been worse, but usually controllable as long as I don't overdo it. In 2017 I found my anxiety to be higher/lower depending on how much I took on and my work/life balance. In 2018, my anxiety has started skyrocketing.
One thing I have noticed at work is that my anxiety can get bad in any of these circumstances: meetings, too many deadlines, presentations. I am a graphic designer for my full time job, which I love doing but can be a high-pressure job.
Recently, my job/work has began to make mandatory monthly meetings, all across different areas of London, which is miles away from where I work or live. This has created a lot of problems for me in my job, I have way less time to check over incoming work, It's such a long way to go and they make it as difficult as possible to claim back on expenses, these meetings last all day and usually go past the scheduled time, and what's worse is I feel incredibly anxious throughout it all. When i'm sat in these meetings, I shake/twitch, my palms go sweaty, I feel like my heart rate is out of control, I find it difficult to breathe, I do suffer from panic attacks and feel trapped, basically I really struggle. For the last 3 weeks, i've had to go all the way to London for 1/2 days a week to attend these mandatory meetings. I've been in my job for the last 4 years, but these compulsory meetings have only been a recent thing in the last 3 months.
I've noticed my productivity has been really affected by these meetings, but I am also anxious in the leadup to the other upcoming meetings that are pencilled in the calendar. I've already done 2 out of the 3 meetings for this month but I already feel horrendous, and like 1 more is just too much. The last one will be a 10am start till 9pm, with an overnight stay and then more work the following day.
I feel like I am carrying the weight of it all and like if I attend this third meeting (which is training) I will be signed off for weeks/months. I don't want to be in that situation.
Before these sudden mandatory meetings, I didn't feel quite so stressed or anxious, and the anxiety was more under control. But at the moment, I am really feeling the weight of these demands, and to the point that I am no longer enjoying my job.
I need help with how to deal with this anxiety when it is heightened, because at times when it is bad it goes way out of control. But before I blame it all on me, I am not sure if my work is being unreasonable with these meetings. Then again, they are unaware of my anxiety.
I don't like the anxiety to dictate what I do or make me avoid situations, and I feel like at the moment it is doing that, which is in itself a problem.
I am not on any medication other than asthma inhalers, and the occasional tablets for hayfever. Other than that, I have gone from Jan 2017 to now without any anxiety-related medication.
My brother relies on medication for anxiety and is a complete hermit to the point he avoids nearly all his uni lectures.
My personal life is not affected much by stress, but I have had thoughts of other ways to cope, but that can branch into smoking/drinking/drugs which I am not really into. And I can't imagine that will make my anxiety any better...
I have just reached a point where my anxiety is not controllable anymore in the circumstances i've been put in, maybe I am taking on too much at the minute. I don't want my current stress/anxiety to affect the rest of my life, and shut out my partner, or avoid work altogether because of the way I feel.
Any support or advice would be appreciated. I want to feel free of my anxiety and not let it beat me, as well as figure out some way of reducing my stress.
Thanks,
Dan