Constant feelings that the worst is about to happen, please help.

[SA3695]

I'm sort of scared to write this as I've suffered from anxiety for years but never written anything on a forum before. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic disorder in succession when I was 15 although I strongly suspect I suffered from at least social anxiety and GAD before I was diagnosed. I was also diagnosed with mild depression a year later. I'm currently on sertraline 50mg and have been for 2 years, but I have recently become increasingly aware of how much my anxiety has affected me in so many different areas of my life- namely the belief and fear- which underpins my mood literally every day of my life, that something bad is going to happen. When I am happy I cant enjoy it, when I do something good or complete the work I've assigned myself, I convince myself that it doesnt matter, that its not an achievement and most importantly that I cant be happy for too long because something bad is going to happen soon. It literally happens every single time I do something good, I cant reward myself or be proud of myself because something bads going to happen soon so whats the point of being happy. Like I suppose I view it as common sense, when I do something good and feel good, the only way to go from there is down. Its so hard to actually describe it but it has controlled my life for the past 10 years, even with relationships. Things are going good with my partner, therefore I need to brace myself for it going bad, which will inevitably happen soon as things are too good. I feel like Im living my life in a box, certain things that are possible for other people, in their lives without this way of thinking and anxiety, are just not possible for me. Ive tried CBT in the past but to no avail, and while my medication helps this constant 'youre too happy, so things are going to go bad soon' controls my entire life and everything in it. It also means that happiness is fleeting, and sadness and panic is my near constant emotion. Can anyone recommend anything that might help me? Any advice, ways of dealing with this? I would appreciate it more than you know, thank you for reading xx

[PWO_Nathan]

Have you considered turning this fear on its head.

So for example, say "OK I am dying and I have two weeks left to live, how am I going to make the most of these two weeks?". Then at the end of the two weeks, and your still here, saying the same but this time with two months...

May sound daft and probably is but its first thing that came to my mind when I read your post.

It sounds like your searching for a catastrophe regardless of what source it is so my thought method would be to give yourself one, albeit fictional, and then ask yourself ok what now?

Please be aware I am not a professional and no way qualified so don't take my advice literally, just a thought like I say what my personal train of thought would be were it me thinking the way you are if that makes sense

---------- Post added at 19:04 ---------- Previous post was at 19:03 ----------

P.S I use death as an example, you can adjust it more inline with your fears.

[SA3695]

Thank you so much for this. Thats actually a really a good way of thinking about it. I'm going to try it over the next few days!