molkogirl
13-05-18, 09:33
I am having huge problems with my anxiety at the moment, it's making me question my partner and my relationship all the time. I am having thoughts of whether he's manipulating me or controlling me, using me etc. We have been together 20 years and it's only started 18months ago after our holiday.
Last night we were gonna spend some time together, nothing planned just hanging out and his friend got in touch last min to say he was coming round. My partner seemed sorry and said we could do something next week and that it's just cos he's turned him down a lot recently so felt bad doing it again. He doesn't make a habit of cancelling on me either but I just completely flipped, I saw it as a massive big deal, like it was confirmation that he preferred his friends and completely broke down. He ended up cancelling his friend and spending the evening trying to calm me down and reassuring me that nothing was meant by it.
My therapist is not helping at all and is actively encouraging me to make a decision about whether I want to be in the relationship which feels like it's making it worse. I don't know where its all coming from or whether it's real or all imagined a lot of the time. We live together and have children and it's getting really difficult for both us now as he feels like he has to constantly justify and defend himself, he says he doesn't want to leave me and would rather have me anxious than not at all. Can anyone relate or advise? Where is it all coming from and how do I work out what is real and anxiety driven?
Last night we were gonna spend some time together, nothing planned just hanging out and his friend got in touch last min to say he was coming round. My partner seemed sorry and said we could do something next week and that it's just cos he's turned him down a lot recently so felt bad doing it again. He doesn't make a habit of cancelling on me either but I just completely flipped, I saw it as a massive big deal, like it was confirmation that he preferred his friends and completely broke down. He ended up cancelling his friend and spending the evening trying to calm me down and reassuring me that nothing was meant by it.
My therapist is not helping at all and is actively encouraging me to make a decision about whether I want to be in the relationship which feels like it's making it worse. I don't know where its all coming from or whether it's real or all imagined a lot of the time. We live together and have children and it's getting really difficult for both us now as he feels like he has to constantly justify and defend himself, he says he doesn't want to leave me and would rather have me anxious than not at all. Can anyone relate or advise? Where is it all coming from and how do I work out what is real and anxiety driven?