Badanxiety
14-05-18, 02:45
The idea of having something seriously wrong with me is very scary. All my life, I’ve had severe anxiety, and ADD type symptoms. It’s very hard for me to feel happy.
I always suspected maybe I was low on dopamine, as dopamine increasing drugs, such as amphetamines, always make me feel so much better.
A few years ago I started noticing I was having trouble smelling things. I HAVE a sense of smell, but it seems weaker than other people’s. I can’t smell bad smells that easily or at all when others complain about them.
My movements seem more twitchy and spastic lately. My muscles have been twitching. I have no tremor really. Not any more than the average person.
Whenever I would abuse amphetamines badly in the past, I wouldn’t sleep for days and then when I finally would, I would awaken everyone in my household with screams and hollers and moans all night. This doesn’t happen at all when I haven’t been abusing drugs, except for once or twice, and it’s only happened less than ten times in total over the past 5-6 years. So I don’t know if it is actually RBD. REM Sleep behavior disorder.
Also, in the past, due to amphetamine abuse, I’ve had times where my hands were shaking so bad I couldn’t hold things. Again, this doesn’t occur in sobriety.
My movements just don’t seem right. I feel like I keep running into things. I feel uncoordinated. I feel kind of slower but have no evidence that I am.
I have struggled with apathy my whole life but now I’m worried it’s related to something.
I drop things once in a while. It’s like my body is moving faster than my brain sometimes.
My grandpa has Parkinson’s. He’s had it for 22 years. He’s 82.
Is it possible I could be showing very early signs. I’m 28 and scared. I’m scared that I might develop Parkinson’s at some point even if I don’t have it now. The REM sleep thing is what scares me most as it seems to always precede Parkinson’s. I don’t really do it under normal circumstances though, except one time.
Oh, also I had a problem with urinary retention in my early 20s. I had to be hospitalized.
Do I have anything to worry about? Is it hereditary at all?
---------- Post added at 01:41 ---------- Previous post was at 01:35 ----------
I also lose my voice once in a while.
---------- Post added at 01:42 ---------- Previous post was at 01:41 ----------
But that’s also something that only happens when I’m on drugs and haven’t slept for days.
I want to live a sober life but my health anxiety is preventing it! I don’t have anything emergent enough wrong with me to go to the doctor and I know it’s all probably not anything to worry about, but I’m just scared tonight and need help.
---------- Post added at 01:45 ---------- Previous post was at 01:42 ----------
Also, the smell thing might relate to smoking since I was 17. I don’t remember having a particularly stronger sense of smell before then though. Some people don’t have a good one maybe.
It’s all these things together that invoke fear.
---------- Post added at 01:45 ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 ----------
Also, when I’m on drugs I feel totally fine and don’t notice any strangeness, so maybe it really is anxiety.
I always suspected maybe I was low on dopamine, as dopamine increasing drugs, such as amphetamines, always make me feel so much better.
A few years ago I started noticing I was having trouble smelling things. I HAVE a sense of smell, but it seems weaker than other people’s. I can’t smell bad smells that easily or at all when others complain about them.
My movements seem more twitchy and spastic lately. My muscles have been twitching. I have no tremor really. Not any more than the average person.
Whenever I would abuse amphetamines badly in the past, I wouldn’t sleep for days and then when I finally would, I would awaken everyone in my household with screams and hollers and moans all night. This doesn’t happen at all when I haven’t been abusing drugs, except for once or twice, and it’s only happened less than ten times in total over the past 5-6 years. So I don’t know if it is actually RBD. REM Sleep behavior disorder.
Also, in the past, due to amphetamine abuse, I’ve had times where my hands were shaking so bad I couldn’t hold things. Again, this doesn’t occur in sobriety.
My movements just don’t seem right. I feel like I keep running into things. I feel uncoordinated. I feel kind of slower but have no evidence that I am.
I have struggled with apathy my whole life but now I’m worried it’s related to something.
I drop things once in a while. It’s like my body is moving faster than my brain sometimes.
My grandpa has Parkinson’s. He’s had it for 22 years. He’s 82.
Is it possible I could be showing very early signs. I’m 28 and scared. I’m scared that I might develop Parkinson’s at some point even if I don’t have it now. The REM sleep thing is what scares me most as it seems to always precede Parkinson’s. I don’t really do it under normal circumstances though, except one time.
Oh, also I had a problem with urinary retention in my early 20s. I had to be hospitalized.
Do I have anything to worry about? Is it hereditary at all?
---------- Post added at 01:41 ---------- Previous post was at 01:35 ----------
I also lose my voice once in a while.
---------- Post added at 01:42 ---------- Previous post was at 01:41 ----------
But that’s also something that only happens when I’m on drugs and haven’t slept for days.
I want to live a sober life but my health anxiety is preventing it! I don’t have anything emergent enough wrong with me to go to the doctor and I know it’s all probably not anything to worry about, but I’m just scared tonight and need help.
---------- Post added at 01:45 ---------- Previous post was at 01:42 ----------
Also, the smell thing might relate to smoking since I was 17. I don’t remember having a particularly stronger sense of smell before then though. Some people don’t have a good one maybe.
It’s all these things together that invoke fear.
---------- Post added at 01:45 ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 ----------
Also, when I’m on drugs I feel totally fine and don’t notice any strangeness, so maybe it really is anxiety.