high risk for melanoma...constant worry...sucking joy from my life

[palspals]

Sigh. I didn't miss this feeling. This feeling which is an illness it its own right. But it appears I am back in the grips of this nightmare- health anxiety. I swear, having health anxiety and many moles is a cruel joke. I hate myself actually and sort of wish I didn't exist...rather paradoxical that a fear of terminal illness would lead me to wish I didn't exist...but I'm so tired of feeling this way.

Anyway, I am at high risk for melanoma. I am as fair as one can be, I have many many moles, I live in Australia and I have had some blistering burns. Yes, I've had my skin checked...but I get new ones! Or old ones change etc... Also, I've picked some/got some lasered off and I worry that they could do something dodgy below the surface. I've noticed major growth of a mole on my arm and major darkening of a mole on my foot. Off to the doc in my lunch break tomorrow...

Is anyone else on here at high melanoma risk? If so, do you cope with it in an particular way?

Thanks so much in advance.

[Fishmanpa]

Have you been clinically assessed by medical professionals as high risk or is this your HA interpretation of high risk?

Positive thoughts

[Halle0587]

Hey there,

I’m at a “greater” risk for melanoma. I’m fair (nearly see through), I have had numerous displastic Nevi removed, i had a precancerous one removed from my shoulder, I have had a few blistering sunburns, and my mother is stage 4 melanoma. I also panic when a mole changes, it’s my trigger. I have a few others as well, but moles and black marks on toenails are big for me. I had a new mole that was very small pop up in the last month, I had it removed yesterday. She told me to expect it to come back precancerous and told me it was a good catch.
Being “high risk” only means you have to help the doctors out. Do your skin checks and have suspicious ones removed. I take pictures of suspicious ones when I notice them and check them weekly then take a new photo. This way I can see change without “imagining change.” I check myself once a month unless I have something odd. It’s at the same time I do my breast check, males could do it at the same time they do their checks. It’s good practice. I live in Florida and as much as I enjoy the peace of the beach I find myself there in winter months when I wear more clothing (still sunscreen.)
You can be high risk and catch the evil early, remember 90% of skin cancer is treatable if caught early. That’s wonderful to know!
Here is some helpful info also, my mom was diagnosed at stage 4-she didn’t advance to it. The medications out now and clinical trials are phenomenal. She was diagnosed in 2015 and in a few weeks she will be 3 years NO Evidence of Disease. She doesn’t go on tropical vacations now, but she wears sunscreen, takes her vitamins, works full time, and loves her life. I figured you could use a cheerful story.