adeline
15-05-18, 17:54
Hello, I'm 32 years of age. I've been struggling with Anxiety for 10 years now and I can't seem to shake it. I'm writing this because I'm totally beside myself. I'm constantly worried all the time and my life has totally nose-dived. I'm worried that I'm going to die despite constant reassurances from my doctors, family and therapist. Nothing seems to help and I don't know what to do. I'm writing this to codify my struggle and would love to hear from anyone willing to help as it would be greatly appreciated.
It all started with a health scare I had in my teens involving Diabetes. I thought that I had type I diabetes because I was suffering from frequent urination, dizziness and general lethargy. When I went to urgent care, my blood sugar was 180. This sent me into an absolute tailspin and caused me to question my health at a very young age. I scheduled a visit with my primary doctor and they did more tests and thought everything was fine. Even after the visit, I was still terrified and constantly checked my sugar levels for years afterward.
This terror continued on with many other ailments as the years went by. I struggled with heart palpitations , abdominal pain, STI scares, back pain, bladder pain and many other things I thought I was going to die from but ended up being nothingburgers. These all occurred in my 20's and even though I struggled with them and thought that I was going to die from them, I was still able to live a semi-normal life.
Things changed about 5 years ago. I started noticing that I would twitch, which would cause me a great deal of anxiety. I told my mom about the twitches and she told me that I needed to get checked out because it may be ALS. This (again) sent me in an absolute tailspin and caused me severe anguish. I went to a Neurologist and they tested me with blood tests, EMG and a Nerve conduction study; all came back normal. He diagnosed me with benign Fasiculation Syndrome and sent me on my way. Even after the diagnosis I was still worried, the twitching never really seemed to go away and was much worse when sitting still. As long as I kept moving I didn't experience them. I learned to begrudgingly live with it even though on the inside it was causing me severe terror and anguish.
Things got far worse about 5 months ago; I had come down with a serious case of the flu. It was right before the New Year and I was driving home. After about 10 hours of driving I noticed that my right leg was in serious pain. It hurt to walk. I ended up laying down for almost a week because of the pain and flu that I had. The pain ended up (temporarily) going away.
About 3 weeks later, when exercising I felt electric shocks run down my right leg. It wasn't debilitating but I definitely stopped exercising. My leg started to hurt again which (again) caused me significant duress.
It was around this time that I noticed my feet were sweaty and tingly, as well as my hands. They often felt cold. I got burning pains in random places all over my extremities. I also notice that my hands would fall asleep if I slept on my side. I was beside myself. What could be wrong with me??
It was then that I made a big mistake. I googled my symptoms..... After Googling I quickly made a judgement that I had a Blood Clot in my leg and rushed to the ER. They did tests and an ultrasound; they found nothing.
I quickly scheduled a visit with my doctor. And a few agonizing weeks later the doctor looked at me and said confidently said that I suffered from anxiety. He gave me 10mg of Celexa and told me to try it out.
Although the Celexa did seem to round my edges, taming my irritability and reducing the severity of my anxiety, it left me very tired but also unable to sleep well. It also didn't help with the pain I was experiencing.
After a few weeks of taking the Celexa I started to feel better. But then I made a second huge mistake. I Googled my symptoms to see if I could figure out the cause of these pains. I quickly thought that I suffered from MS and it caused me to freak out. All of the symptoms (I thought) aligned with this ailment and I was sure that this was it. This was when things got way worse. It sent me into a total panic. I had a massive anxiety attack (which despite severe anxiety I rarely get), falling into the fetal position and basically getting stuck in a feedback loop of terror.
This is when things got significantly worse for me. After my panic attack my body felt like it was on fire; my Hands, feet, chest, back and worst of all my Bladder. It was relentless. I was completely bedridden, terrified that I had MS and in extreme pain. I didn't sleep for 6 days. I scheduled a visit with a neurologist the next day.
I told the neurologist what I was experiencing, he did the EMG did the NCS and scheduled me to get an MRI with contrast.
They found nothing. I got a litany of blood tests done as well and again, they found nothing. The doctor told me that what it sounds like I'm experiencing is Sciatic pain that's affecting my leg. She doesn't have the test to prove it, but that's most likely the cause.
Now my mind has moved to Parkinsons. To me it sounds like this is the most obvious cause. The symptoms align, I have a stiff and painful calf muscle, I twitch . My back hurts a little and I still get some parathesia in my hands. Do you think that this is possible? Am I crazy? What the hell is wrong with me? I just want an answer to these ailments and what causes it.
It all started with a health scare I had in my teens involving Diabetes. I thought that I had type I diabetes because I was suffering from frequent urination, dizziness and general lethargy. When I went to urgent care, my blood sugar was 180. This sent me into an absolute tailspin and caused me to question my health at a very young age. I scheduled a visit with my primary doctor and they did more tests and thought everything was fine. Even after the visit, I was still terrified and constantly checked my sugar levels for years afterward.
This terror continued on with many other ailments as the years went by. I struggled with heart palpitations , abdominal pain, STI scares, back pain, bladder pain and many other things I thought I was going to die from but ended up being nothingburgers. These all occurred in my 20's and even though I struggled with them and thought that I was going to die from them, I was still able to live a semi-normal life.
Things changed about 5 years ago. I started noticing that I would twitch, which would cause me a great deal of anxiety. I told my mom about the twitches and she told me that I needed to get checked out because it may be ALS. This (again) sent me in an absolute tailspin and caused me severe anguish. I went to a Neurologist and they tested me with blood tests, EMG and a Nerve conduction study; all came back normal. He diagnosed me with benign Fasiculation Syndrome and sent me on my way. Even after the diagnosis I was still worried, the twitching never really seemed to go away and was much worse when sitting still. As long as I kept moving I didn't experience them. I learned to begrudgingly live with it even though on the inside it was causing me severe terror and anguish.
Things got far worse about 5 months ago; I had come down with a serious case of the flu. It was right before the New Year and I was driving home. After about 10 hours of driving I noticed that my right leg was in serious pain. It hurt to walk. I ended up laying down for almost a week because of the pain and flu that I had. The pain ended up (temporarily) going away.
About 3 weeks later, when exercising I felt electric shocks run down my right leg. It wasn't debilitating but I definitely stopped exercising. My leg started to hurt again which (again) caused me significant duress.
It was around this time that I noticed my feet were sweaty and tingly, as well as my hands. They often felt cold. I got burning pains in random places all over my extremities. I also notice that my hands would fall asleep if I slept on my side. I was beside myself. What could be wrong with me??
It was then that I made a big mistake. I googled my symptoms..... After Googling I quickly made a judgement that I had a Blood Clot in my leg and rushed to the ER. They did tests and an ultrasound; they found nothing.
I quickly scheduled a visit with my doctor. And a few agonizing weeks later the doctor looked at me and said confidently said that I suffered from anxiety. He gave me 10mg of Celexa and told me to try it out.
Although the Celexa did seem to round my edges, taming my irritability and reducing the severity of my anxiety, it left me very tired but also unable to sleep well. It also didn't help with the pain I was experiencing.
After a few weeks of taking the Celexa I started to feel better. But then I made a second huge mistake. I Googled my symptoms to see if I could figure out the cause of these pains. I quickly thought that I suffered from MS and it caused me to freak out. All of the symptoms (I thought) aligned with this ailment and I was sure that this was it. This was when things got way worse. It sent me into a total panic. I had a massive anxiety attack (which despite severe anxiety I rarely get), falling into the fetal position and basically getting stuck in a feedback loop of terror.
This is when things got significantly worse for me. After my panic attack my body felt like it was on fire; my Hands, feet, chest, back and worst of all my Bladder. It was relentless. I was completely bedridden, terrified that I had MS and in extreme pain. I didn't sleep for 6 days. I scheduled a visit with a neurologist the next day.
I told the neurologist what I was experiencing, he did the EMG did the NCS and scheduled me to get an MRI with contrast.
They found nothing. I got a litany of blood tests done as well and again, they found nothing. The doctor told me that what it sounds like I'm experiencing is Sciatic pain that's affecting my leg. She doesn't have the test to prove it, but that's most likely the cause.
Now my mind has moved to Parkinsons. To me it sounds like this is the most obvious cause. The symptoms align, I have a stiff and painful calf muscle, I twitch . My back hurts a little and I still get some parathesia in my hands. Do you think that this is possible? Am I crazy? What the hell is wrong with me? I just want an answer to these ailments and what causes it.