Freaking out, someone please help, NMP!

[Anxiousamyj]

Bear with me, as I am having a freak out over some pain that I've been having for quite some time. It started in late December/early January when I got a virus that caused awful diarrhea for a few days. I always get diarrhea when I'm anxious as well, so the diarrhea continued becuase of my anxiety. So, my bottom was pretty sore from all that wiping, but in the midst of all this, I developed some lower back pain and a burning pain in my tailbone area. I went to urgent Care, where they did a rectal exam, didn't see anything, but gave me some hemorrhoids cream. It didn't get better, so I went to the ER at the end of January, had another rectal exam, x Ray of lower back/tailbone/lower abdomen, which was normal. I had my obgyn do another thorough rectal exam in ffebruary and she said it was normal. My primary care doctor did blood tests in February which were normal as well. So, I've had 3 rectal exams. I also got into an obsessively cycle of checking down there. I stopped doing that and went to CBT, things started to feel a bit better, but didn't completely sort themselves. Now, the burning rectal apin is back and I think I can see a small fissure. My husband said he thinks he can see it as well. I'm just freaking out because the tailbone burning is back today as well. Could the fissure be causing pain that goes up that high? I'm back to my obsessively checking as well, which I guess could cause soreness. I'm freaking out that this could be cancer. I don't want to go back to the doctor, as I've had 3 rectal exams and an x Ray, but I will if I have to. Does a small fissure hurt that badly? I have had no bleeding, but I'm pretty certain I can see a small tear. My husband says he can see it too. My lower back pain is much improved, so that's reassuring. What should I do? I'm so irritable with my kids becuase I'm so anxious!

[Fishmanpa]

From a previous thread and the last few are all related...


I had an x Ray in January 2018 on my lower abdomen, sacrum, tailbone area (where they said I was really constipated) but otherwise normal, an abdominal ultrasound in october, which was normal, and tons of blood work, several times, the latest being in March of 2018. All were normal. My doctor says I'm healthy. I see a psychiatrist as well as a CBT therapist for my HA. .....The doctor never diagnosed me with anything, just said "there are a lot of nerves down there that are connected and can get irritated". I saw my obgyn and had an exam, both in August of last year and February of this year. She examined my bottom pretty thoroughly and said I look fine.

What does your therapist think about you posting for reassurance? There's obviously nothing physically wrong other than normal niggles.

Positive thoughts

[Anxiousamyj]

I haven't seen her for a bit, as I was doing so much better. I actually have an appointment with her on Monday. I haven't told her about posting on this forum. I sometimes think this forum hinders my ability to avoid relapse, but it is reassuring to read similar instances to mine and see that the posters were fine. I can't shake this fear that this pain signals something more sinister, since it's been going on, off and on, for so long. It's been about 4 months. I did do better for awhile, but I don't know what to do now. Thank you for replying, FMP, you are a nice voice of reason. I'm going out with a friend tonight, so I hope that is a good distraction for me.

[Anxiousamyj]

I went out with a friend tonight and had no pain the entire time, so this has got to be in my head, right? My cat didn't come home (husband forgot to let him in) tonight, so now I'm worried about him. Cross your fingers for me that he comes home in the morning, everyone!