View Full Version : feeling terrified
Hi, i am panicking again - I know it is irrational fear ("they" keep telling me so). When I woke up this morning, (7-15am)I felt as if the room was spinning / my hands were clenched so tightly they were hurting.
When I got properly awake I felt so afraid (impending doom)
Mild panic so I decided to do some shopping (10am). BUT on the way to the bus stop I had the awful chest pain, feels like an electric shock - so sudden - so frightening - makes me stop in mid step its so sharp - i went straight to the doctor.
""IT IS all down to your panic - you really must consider meds now.""
Tears and more panic.
At the moment I feel as if my heart is breaking / weepy and defeated i don't want to take meds But????
help ??
june
my doctor is a firm believer in trying everything else before meds , i have been having some counceling and it has been working really well for me , try talking again to your doctor and let them know that you are not happy about taking meds , if not think about talking to another doctor as doctors have different views on things which i have found out with my new doctor , i am so glad i changed doctors and feel so much better for doing so .
June do you feel like you have a sympathtic doctor mate???
What things have you tried so far to date???
Medication helps many and maybe just the right thing for you but it would be interesting to see what things you may have tried first ie CBT, relaxation cd's, yoga etc etc.
Love Piglet :flowers:
Hi June.
Being told its down to your panic really doesn't help. I have sat here before having terrible symptoms and knowing rationally that they are caused by my brain rather than my body, but being unable to control them.
I did finally give in and accept meds. But as I said to the doctor I wanted something to help me control what I have and get on with my life rather than just existing. Also I wanted to be able to prevent the Panic rather than just cure it. Like stopping the headache rather than just taking pain killers!
I am on meds, and they help me think rationally. I still have symptoms and have to look after my health, make sure I get enough sleep, cut out caffeine as much as possible etc. That way I get less symptoms and am much more able to deal with them. But now with meds and the counselling I had I am more able to cope with the symptoms and ignore them or will them away. Sometimes they don't go and I have to distract myself by singing, breathing exercises, reading, or playing a relaxation exercise on my MP3.
All these things help, so while its still there I am in control, rather than the panic controlling me.
You don't have to take meds. You can ask you doctor to consider other things. But remember that if you do need to take them, its not all bad. Lots of people have illness which mean they take meds, like diabetes for example, so try not to give yourself a hard time. Also you can change doctors if you need to. Hope you feel better soon.
When I first suffered with panic and anxiety my doctor put me on some medication. I did have counselling too but not for some time afterwards. When I moved house last October I also had to change doctors. My new doctor said he would have tried counselling first and put me on a course of CBT so perhaps you could try this?
Take care,
I agree with what's been said so far - definitely push for counselling.
NICE guidelines (government guidelines for patient treatment) recommend to doctors that counselling should be tried first, before meds. The doc should comply with this.
The point is that anxiety and panic doesn't just happen for no reason - there's always something emotional underlying it. That's why counselling is best because it gets to the cause rather than just attempting to quell the symptoms.
That said, you need to try to calm down a bit in order to be able to engage with the counselling. Some people use a short course of meds for this, but it is preferable to try some methods yourself first (like relaxation techniques). Maybe once you've read the responses here, you'll start to feel a little stronger. Don't forget, panic can't really hurt you - nothing bad will happen. Once you believe that, you are one step closer to recovery.
I think everyone here will empathise with how you are feeling, as many of us have been there. Hang in there and be assured that you can overcome this and feel much better again.
Good luck with the doc and if he won't refer you, then change doctors.
Eeb x
thank you for your support - you have given me a lot to think about
I will get back to you
Lots of hugs from june
bottleblond
24-07-07, 19:38
June,
I am going to put over another way for you.
Before i had my meds, i was an absolute wreck, i couldnt think straight, i was in tears constantly, my anxiety was through the roof and i thought that was it for me, this was the way my life was going to be! but i knew i had to do something because my quality of life at the time was so low. So i decided i was going to give the meds a chance, coz afterall, what did i have to lose.
After a couple of weeks on my medication, i felt alot more human, i could consentrate alot better, i could function but most of all, my anxiety had reduced ten fold.
When i think back to how i was! i'd stick with my medication anytime!
best of luck toots!!
xxx
bottleblond , what medication do you take ?
Hi, I hope none of you will be offended by this reply.
I do have good doctors they will see me within an hour if I am really feeling bad. (thankfully that does not happen to often) I also think my doctors are exasperated by me. I am a "yes but" or Yes but what if"sort of person.
Medication. Now back to the 1970s I was put on Ativan 2 twice a day.!!!!!!
I did not know what day of the week it was. - I had my mom and aunt in one area another aunt elsewhere and an uncle in the other direction PLUS my husband and 3 children to care for. To say I was run ragged and the meds made me stupid (family opinion) I could not DO what was expected so ditch the meds. Years later I tried other meds which made me hyperactive, I was shaking like someone with Parkinsons, for 12 hours - the doc at the time said it will soon calm down keep taking the meds -I was terrified I could not / would not take anymore meds.
I do take medication for low kidney function and strangely I have no fear of this. Perhaps there is a logical reaons for taking these and panic is not not logical
CBTwas a bit odd, she would say things like "well you have had these sensations before so what are you worried about??" or If you die there is nothing you can do to stop it so there is no point in worrying"!!!!!
At the moment I am seeing (yet another councellor) really as a need to talk over my fears.
My fear of dying came up last week and she went through the usual ideas of 'fear of a painful death' - BUT Strangely I started to sob uncontrolably and said NO I AM AFRAID OF BEING TOLD OFF, of being in awful trouble, because of the upset i will have caused because i did not look after myself properly!!!! How wierd was that?
I have to stop for now once again big hugs and thanks to you all.
June
I seem to be a conversation stopper!
june
:hugs: June so sorry to hear you are feeling so fed up and lonely:hugs:
Just wanted to send you hugs and reassure you that you are not alone :hugs:
Brightest Angel Blessings
Mystics:flowers:
June, I hope this doesn't sound empty, but I know how you feel. When we're in that state of constant anxiety, worry and panic, it seems like there's no way out and you're just desperate for relief. Remember that if you feel so overwhelmed that you can't take it anymore, turning to meds to stabilize the situation is not a weakness. Meds have become better since the 70s, and it's just a question of finding the right one for you. I'm not saying meds are the solution, but they can certainly help you concentrate not on the symptoms but on working out your issues.
I hope and believe things will work out for you.
Hi, I have just had my second session with a psychiatrist.
He says that my panic etc is a learned response to unsettling thoughts.
E.G the difference between a mild headache that you know will 'just' go away and a headache that you know will need a paracetemol.
Apparently my brain runs for the worst senario immediatley - there is no 'just mild'.
Therefore he suggests that (wait for it!!!!) because of my age this senario cannot be un learned.
EXCUSE ME said I - At the age of 60yrs I graduated from universty with a 2.2 BA Honours Degree Plus desk top publishing / computer graphics ETC. IF I AM advised on How to unlearn these responses then I may not need your medication!!!!
He has agreed to rethink the next step of my treatment.
Mild? victory for me I think.
now to the problem of learning 'How not to panic' at the slightest twinge.
HA HA this should be fun.
Hugs to everyone for your suport
June
PS. I do know that meds are excellent for some people, since panic and axiety has become more recognised there has been a lot more research.
As the older generation will know years ago you could be told by a doctor to "pull youself together you have a family to care for" OR " go and read your Bible it will comfort you ". But they never said which bits Revelations would not be much comfort!! (sorry) June
My fear of dying came up last week and she went through the usual ideas of 'fear of a painful death' - BUT Strangely I started to sob uncontrolably and said NO I AM AFRAID OF BEING TOLD OFF, of being in awful trouble, because of the upset i will have caused because i did not look after myself properly!!!! How wierd was that?
June
That actually made my eyes fill and touched me to the core and I want to give you the most massive hug for having those little girl vulnerable feelings in a grown up body.
While you are working through all this stuff with the therapist may I suggest a slightly sideways option (which will all help) of working on your self esteem.
A couple of years ago I bought some affirmation cards by Louise Hay called Wisdom cards. They are brightly coloured cheerful cards and while some of them are cheesy there are loads that I relate to. You can get them from www.holisticshop.co.uk (http://www.holisticshop.co.uk). I've recommended them to quite a few people very successfully.
I choose a card every so often and use it as my bookmark, or by my bed etc and I read the words everytime I see it. Somewhere these word sink into the subconcious and start replacing the negatives with some positives.
I don't believe for a minute that you can't unlearn some of these bad habits - yes it doesn't happen overnight but with perseverance changes happen.
I am also a big fan of Paul Mckennas book and cd 'Change your life in 7 days'. Obviously it doesn't change that quick but it sure as hell helps.
You can do this June - Pips once told me to try and imagine a lollipop ladies stop sign everytime I was aware my thinking was negative and I have had great success with this.
Everytime I think scary stuff or relive painful stuff I know it will make me feel physically crap, so I make every effort to stop it in its tracks by taking this approach. I am getting better and better at it all the time.
You are never ever too old to learn something new - we are still learning and growing our whole lives.:yesyes:
Love Piglet :flowers:
Hi Piglet, thank you for your reply. When I read through what I had written it took a great effort to press the 'post ' button or delete it. I honestly think it is because people on this site are mostly unknown to each other and we can show our most vulnerable emotions, without fear of retribution.
I have actually got Louse Hay's book "You can Heal Your Life". I tend to dip in and out of it. The main problem I have with these books is that although I relate to the words in them - I have no one to discuss the information with ( sorry to my hubby, it is not easy to tell him how stupid I sometimes feel)
I have been told that these 'affirmations' work, but you are the first person i know to have actually used them - and proved them to be successful.
I had just been trying to make some fancy notes of my own eg. "Panic upsets the system = causes the release of histamine that causes rashes" something along those lines.
I have to prove that psychatrist to be wrong - I will beat this!!! whith the help of this forum.
Thank you Piglet
With the greatest respect to you all
love
june
Well hun if you ever want to clarify something that you've read, or chew it over then fire away as I like nothing better. :yesyes:
For me I really have seen that link between negative thinking and the direct physical response my body makes by reacting the same way it did at the time of the trigger.
I now don't allow myself the luxury of going over stuff again and again if it was painful the first time. For instance say I had words with someone over something (thankfully that doesn't happen every 5 mins) I used to tell the story to all my kids and probably even a few friends and it would get me all hot under the collar all over again. Now I don't do that - I may talk about it with one possibly two trusted bodies and then thats that.
The stress of the hospital stuff I've had to do with my middle child, I have not allowed myself to keep dwelling on. Once you I've had it explained and I'm reassured then I try very hard not to go back there again. It's not necessary and it doesn't help.
When I went to the CBT last week she asked how I felt about coming and all that we had discussed and I told her that I didn't particularly relish relieving my history as I knew it would make me feel crap relieving painful things as I am trying not to focus on negatives because of the knock effect this has.
Another book I would like to suggest to you (you could get one cheap off Amazon) is 'Don't sweat the small stuff' by Richard Carlson (again cheesy in places but plenty of useful little gems) it's a really easy read and divided into little segments so you could just read a few before bed if you liked.
Love Piglet :flowers:
Piglet & June - I agree totally with you Piglet about low self-esteem being a big factor in panic disorder. I have lived with this for 9 yrs & it is really only the last year or so that I have fully realised that I have to work on my self-esteem. I am a big fan of Louise Hay, having read lots of her books too. However, although they made sense, I still found it hard to put into practice what she says. Have you tried her excercise in the mirror saying to yourself, I love & approve of you!!! How hard is that?????? I really, really struggle with that one.
So, I recently bought her CD Overcoming Fears. In this she gets you to talk to your inner child as well as giving you lots of positive affirmations that are supposed to sink into your sub concious. I have only used this for 2 nights now, so can't tell if there is any difference yet, but I am going to keep using it to see what happens. I will let you know in a couple of weeks if I feel any different.
June, when you said you were so worried about getting into trouble, I could really relate to that. One of the prominent thoughts that comes into my head when I am in the middle of one of those horrible panic attacks is that people will think that I am an unfit mother & they will be taken away from me. Logically I know this is not true, but that is the core of my fear - which ties in with Piglet's theory about low self-esteem. For a long time I have tried to figure out why I have such low self-esteem, but the answers have not come, so I have decided now, to forget about the why's and concentrate on how to build up my self esteem.
As for medication, I never wanted to be on it myself. I was prescribed Prozac when this started. I did not want to take it - but everyone around me kept saying the Doctors know best. I gave in & started to take it, but everytime I took one I had a major panic attack!!! Then after taking them for about 6wks I had my first appointment with the Psychologist who told me that I would have to be on them for at least a year, & then I would be able to come off them gradually. I asked why gradually if they were non addictive? He said, well, for some people they can be addictive so you have to come off them slowly. I went straight home & through the rest in the bin.
I am not against medication per say, as I know that they help countless people; they are just not for me. What I am trying to say is, you do what is best for you, and you only. It is not a weakness to take medication, but it is also not a weakness to choose not to take medication. Even though we all can relate to what each other is going through, we are all different. Go with your gut feelings.
I am more than happy to chew over thoughts you have on Louise Hay's book. Please feel free to pm me anytime.
To Piglet and Panicdiva, what a releif to hear others with the same problems and similar ways of dealing with them.
Panicdiva you really hit it with thought on meds I agree they really help some people - but like you I have been much worse by taking them and been told """don't worry those symptoms will eventually go away""" I have enough symtoms of my own without adding to them. And yes i tried talking to the mirror and I found it soooo embarrassing.
Love to you both
A very releived
june
do u eva gt pain in ur arm too?
Panicdiva totally relate to your post - I too used to think it might mean I'm an unfit mother. I smile but also feel sad at some of the nonsense I've let upset me over the last 8 years.
By talking and being more open we are able to bring these fears out and get proper reassurance - that can only be a good thing.
Also agree about the medication side of things - it's whatever is right for the individual isn't it, there can't be hard and fast rules here because each case while similiar does totally depend on the circumstances surrounding it.
Love Piglet :flowers:
Hi sarah
- yes i have a pain in my arm which freaks me out. Later in the day I realised it was only from hunching my shoulders. Then I feel such relief.(and daft for such excessive fear).
I had a pain that felt like that awful advert with the belt around his chest except my pain was in the lower ribs. I was at my doctor quick smart - and he said it was palpitations.
IT WAS NOTHING like any other palpitation i ever had before.
As I know my dr quite well now his reply was that there are many types of palpitation and all will feel awful BUT they are harmless!!!!!
Best wishes
June
Hi everyone, over the last week I have had some major panics. All the books advice that you / I find the trigger for these attacks.
I have struggled and cried and tried for many years to find a "trigger", without the slightest success.
For the last 2 days I have been trying real hard (trying to prove that psychiatrist wrong) so:- watching TV is when many attacks start "a sudden feeling of 'oh Help I am dying' I sit up quickly pretending to Hubby 'Yes I am OK'...... ( I wonder if he ever believes me??)
Right - I have noticed that when the part of the bowel that goes accross the stomach, moves, it sends a wave upwards that rocks the heart and stomach - feeling as if the heart will stop - sitting up quickly makes the heart keep going BUT in sitting up too quickly makes the head spin. add all these sensations together and i believe i am realy ill now!!!! this is the start of major panic.
___________________________
There is a similar reaction when sitting on a soft sofa - as the matrial warms to the heat of your body it moves - stretches so that you sink (ever so slightly) but for me it is like an earthquake - it wobbles my brain and I think I am going to fall - the immediate reaction is to tense everything -Bang there is that damn panic again.
It all sounds very silly - but this morning when I made myself take note as I was getting anxious - it did stop the panic forming.
As I said its only 2 days but heres hoping.
Hugs and best wishes to you all
June
Just to say that i know from experience that gp's do not try other things before medication and i suppose there could be many explanations for this but the biggest reason is that the waiting list for counselling is so long that they start you on med's straight away and then try other things afterwards. I was put on med's before anything else and they made me so ill i thought that i would be karted off! The gp just increased and increased my meds which of course made me worse, it wasn't until i went back and asked to be referred that i saw a counsellor and i did have to wait but i was told the waiting list was about 8 months and i only ended up waiting for about 2 months before i started to see mine. And she is confident that she can help, we shall see.xx
Hi Angiebaby, I agree that the wait to see a councellor is far too long, and then you have to drop everything else to make sure you don't miss the chance of your session. Life sure does get complicated.
Try not too get annoyed with your councellor some times in the early stages they tend to trot out "its the fight or flight syndrome" or "you have had these symtoms so long now. Why are you still worried?????" work through this and it should get better.
The lady I see now started off very 'bolshie' she thought I was a text book case - then she realised I was human and we get on very well - so far!!!!
Good luck
Hugs and best wishes
June
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