freaking out - in control or not?

[shaz01]

Hey,

Ive had a stressful week with hubby being in hospital for an operation, however he got out on Friday and was doing fine, however today I had to call the GP and we were sent to the hospital and they are now treating him for a deep vein trombosis, I appear to everyone else to be well in control however inside Im freaking out...he doesnt get a scan till Wednesday but is getting injections, one if which I am giving him tomorrow.

I have really good family support and I am trying to stay calm however I dont think I really ever DO calm. The heart gets jumpy then I read a sign on the hospital wall about heart disease so naturally tonight Im sure I have this.

Sometimes do you think its the ones that appear to be in control and handling things well that are really the ones that are cracking up inside?? I think sometimes I just put to much pressure on myself, why cant I accept that if life is stressful then I will be feeling totally anxious??

Oh who has the answers??

Shaz x

[cattttt]

I think any of us would be stessed in your situation, especially if you have health anxiety. I do agree that the ones who appear to be handling things well are the ones that are cracking up inside. Maybe we should all do a bit more screaming and crying and we'd all feel better for it!! There's so much stuff about these days about how so many things are bad for you, it just freaks out people like us who already know these things and try not to think about it too much.......every time you see it you get reminded and spend the next few days thinking you are about to die.
Don't know what the answer is either, trying to accept that we overreact and always imagine the worst is so hard, just have to keep reminding ourselves.

[Laurie28]

At my worst I appeared totally in control to outsiders. The only person who really knew how badly I was actually coping was my (then) partner. I dont know how I made it through the day, but I managed to have long smiling conversations with people at the coffee machine at work before running to the toilets to check my throat wasnt closing....
Im afraid I dont have the answers either but we have to just keep going i suppose.
Hope your husband is better

[Insomniac]

I totally agree. One of the reasons I am like this now is because I hide my emotions a lot so people dont judge me negatively. Which in itself is a sign of my low self-esteem. Even though I know that keeping emotions inside is bad because you can either explode with anger one day, or tears, the strain is unbelievable.

I have talked with a few people about this since suffering PAs and its surprising how many other people I know feel awful inside but put the front of coping. Of course you can't fall apart all day because nothing would ever get done, but I do think we need to be more honest and definitely let off steam now and again.