View Full Version : I'm worried my anxiety is masking the fact that I'm seriously ill
So this started almost 3 weeks ago when I got a period mid-cycle. I began having a pain in my lower right back along with my usual debilitating period pains.
Once the period went, this particular pain did not go away. It was very painful and made it hard to walk. Sometimes it would spread to both sides and then sometimes it was just fixed in that one spot. I had no other symptoms with it.
Fast forward to last Monday when I saw my GP for the pain, thinking he would calm me down and tell me it was muscular (I have suffered from agoraphobia since January and haven't done much moving so I imagine my bones are definitely suffering at this point) but he took my temp, heart rate, BP and a urine sample and felt my tummy and concluded I had a high up kidney infection and needed to go to hospital immediately for treatment as I was showing signs of sepsis (queue immediate panic - the worst panic of my life)
In hospital I had IV antibiotics, fluids, bloods done, ecg, x-ray. My heart rate got up to 152bpm with the panic...ugh, a urologist came and said he wasn't sure it was a kidney infection...useful...but after keeping me there all day I was moved to the gynae ward and told I would be having an ultrasound.
Instead, the gynaecologist took some swabs, felt my tummy and said that I could go home. So I left the hospital with no real explanation of what was going on....
So we've over a week later now. I have an appointment at 3:30 today that was booked for something unrelated but I'm going back now because the pain is horrendous. I feel sick with worry and I'm absolutely convinced it's something sinister and that my anxiety is masking a real problem and that people aren't taking me seriously because I panic.
The pain has spread over to both sides today and it feels like someone is squeezing my ovaries.
I'm scared that the doctor today is going to send me straight back to A&E and I'm scared that I will die there.
As I have agoraphobia, it's that much harder for me to have to face doctors/hospitals and I am just purely terrified.
I just needed to let all that out. Thanks if you got this far x
Please, lease try to trust the doctors that have seen you so far! They would have been looking for things in your bloods and urine that could have suggested that something sinister was going on! In the absence of those indicators, amongst results from other tests and observations, the doctors would have been certain that there is nothing too concerning, hence their decision to discharge you.
Sometimes doctors don’t have the best bedside manner in hospitals though. I’m an ex nurse, so I know! It’s not uncommon for them to do their ward rounds and forget to talk to/not have time to talk in depth with the patient about their findings. Most patients will just call the nurse over afterwards and she will fill in all the gaps! Please do this if you are in any doubts about being sent home etc! Theyre there to help!
However, like you I’d be wanting answers, so I do think you should chase this up. But I don’t think you should be worrying about this being anything sinister. Please, please trust that the hospital staff know what they’re doing...it just sounds like they need to explain it to you a bit better!
So this started almost 3 weeks ago when I got a period mid-cycle. I began having a pain in my lower right back along with my usual debilitating period pains.
Once the period went, this particular pain did not go away. It was very painful and made it hard to walk. Sometimes it would spread to both sides and then sometimes it was just fixed in that one spot. I had no other symptoms with it.
Fast forward to last Monday when I saw my GP for the pain, thinking he would calm me down and tell me it was muscular (I have suffered from agoraphobia since January and haven't done much moving so I imagine my bones are definitely suffering at this point) but he took my temp, heart rate, BP and a urine sample and felt my tummy and concluded I had a high up kidney infection and needed to go to hospital immediately for treatment as I was showing signs of sepsis (queue immediate panic - the worst panic of my life)
In hospital I had IV antibiotics, fluids, bloods done, ecg, x-ray. My heart rate got up to 152bpm with the panic...ugh, a urologist came and said he wasn't sure it was a kidney infection...useful...but after keeping me there all day I was moved to the gynae ward and told I would be having an ultrasound.
Instead, the gynaecologist took some swabs, felt my tummy and said that I could go home. So I left the hospital with no real explanation of what was going on....
So we've over a week later now. I have an appointment at 3:30 today that was booked for something unrelated but I'm going back now because the pain is horrendous. I feel sick with worry and I'm absolutely convinced it's something sinister and that my anxiety is masking a real problem and that people aren't taking me seriously because I panic.
The pain has spread over to both sides today and it feels like someone is squeezing my ovaries.
I'm scared that the doctor today is going to send me straight back to A&E and I'm scared that I will die there.
As I have agoraphobia, it's that much harder for me to have to face doctors/hospitals and I am just purely terrified.
I just needed to let all that out. Thanks if you got this far x
The way doctors treated you (not explaining what was going on) was definitely hideous. However, bear this in mind: if it had been something sinister, they would have:
1. told you immediately,
2. keep you in hospital.
Therefore, whatever it is, it is nothing sinister and with that in mind, I hope your anxiety will subside, which would be a serious improvement itself. Get better soon!
If you have significant pain I would say that's not a typical anxiety symptom and the docs should be searching harder for a cause before dismissing you. Perhaps some blood tests and scans would be enough to clear anything sinister. Anxiety can cause a lot of symptoms but typically usually not constant sharp or dibilitating pain. Not trying to be alarmist, you just want to make sure you get a good "all clear".
My mom had pretty bad lower left pain for a long time, almost a couple months. Pain as in roll around on the floor crying pain. She had an infection in her fallapion tubes that was discovered during exploratory surgery. Not life threatening per se, but months of pain is no way to live either!
What did the doctor say, Andromeda?
Thanks for your replies. I did have bloods taken on Monday when I was in the hospital.
The doctor today said she thinks it could still be a high up UTI so has given me 5 more days of a different antibiotic and has given me codeine for the pain.
She's also referred me for an ultrasound and sent a urine sample off to the lab.
The pain really is horrendous so I know that it's not anxiety, there's definitely something going on but i can't stop myself from thinking worst case scenario.
I'm also scared about going back to A&E if the pain gets too much because I'm just convinced I'm going to die.
I feel so stuck between a rock and a hard place, I want to get this sorted but I'm terrified of the things I need to do to get it sorted. I also don't know at what point I should listen to my brain and actually go to A&E
We fight these thoughts and symptoms daily with ourselves that I'm finding it really difficult to determine which ones are the thoughts I need to listen to, and then I panic that I'll ignore my pain and die because I ignored it. I'm really really not in a good place right now
I had such bad pain with my periods it felt like my insides were being ripped out. I was tested for everything under the sun. All came back clear.
The pain would stay after my period had left and would randomly pop up about 2 weeks before.
I was thinking ovarian cancer but it turns out it was a cyst on my ovaries. Treatable, super common and not life threatening.
I have my ultrasound already through for tomorrow and I've been worried about ovarian cancer too.
I've had a few ultrasounds before but never when I've been in this much pain or terrified so I'm definitely getting some serious anticipatory anxiety right now!
Ooo, I second the ovarian cyst guess. I've heard those are ridiculously painful and would be impacted by hormone levels which makes sense in your story.
Ultrasound should provide some answers hopefully!
Cannot sleep in anticipation of the ultrasound.
This is one of the few times where I know it’s not just anxiety and something is going on because of the pain and discomfort I’m having.
I’m scared about all the possibilities. And I know I have to go to get answers, but I’m so scared that this is the one time it’s not anxiety ��
Just been for my ultrasound and my bladder was empty. I drank the water too close to the appointment so it obviously hadnt made its way down. I am really annoyed at myself. But I feel so sick at the moment the water was making me gag. So disappointed in myself.
The sonographer was really really rude. And very bitchy. Probably cause she thought I'd wasted her time
I had to have an internal scan instead as well as my kidneys so I've had everything scanned except for my bladder...which is now obviously where I'm fixating!
Also, my experience with ultrasounds before has been that the sonographer will say when everything looks okay. She didn't say a word...just that the results will be with my GP in a week. So that's really not helpful considering I think I'm dying.
The pain is still bad, I'm feeling so frustrated and fed up, the pain wakes me in the night. My stomach is so swollen. I've lost over a stone now because I can barely eat. All the antibiotics are making me feel super sick. I really feel like I'm at breaking point.
I'm using this thread as an outlet for my thoughts so apologies in advance.
I'm soooo boated it's unbelievable. I feel so incredibly sick. Keep gagging with the nausea. The pains are still horrendous, spreading into my pelvis and my right upper front thigh. My stomach hurts.
I'm really really feeling so rotten, weak and fed up.
I'm trying to not let the health anxiety get the better of me but I'm legitimately not well, something is actually wrong so it's very difficult to not get carried away with thinking I'm dying...especially as I FEEL like I am actually dying, not just my anxiety talking my body feels that rotten!
I feel like I'm at breaking point :-(
Day 21 of this nightmare.
I'm at my wits' end.
I have two more days of Trimethoprim, I feel so nauseous constantly. I have no appetite. The pains are bad, I can't sleep because I'm tossing and turning all night. I feel so weak because I've barley eaten during this whole time. I'm so fatigued. The bloating is horrendous, so bad it takes my breath.
I'm unbelievably gassy, my tummy is making all sorts of noises.
I feel like I'm waiting to die. I really do. I'm so depressed I can't cope with this anymore
Have you called to follow up with your results? Maybe you can speed things up?
I normally would say just be patient and wade through the anxiety but with so much pain I'd rather you get treated sooner rather than later!
Have you called to follow up with your results? Maybe you can speed things up?
I normally would say just be patient and wade through the anxiety but with so much pain I'd rather you get treated sooner rather than later!
I called up today about my urine sample and the receptionist said that a doctor hadn't looked at it yet but that it showed infection and that I was on the right antibiotics for the infection...?!
The antibiotics have done nothing. I don't know what to do anymore I'm terrified of getting sepsis
Just wanted to come back to update in case anyone was reading this thread.
I went back to the doctor on Wednesday. She confirmed that the urine sample that was tested did show sensitivity to all the antibiotics I had been on. My ultrasound all came back normal. She took my temperature and blood pressure. I told her how I was still feeling unwell, that the pain in my back was still waking me and that I was fed up.
She told me to come back this morning with another urine sample and she would decide what to do then.
Urine sample this morning showed now infection. My temperature was normal and she was happy that the infection had cleared. I still have back pain. It's still waking me in the night.
But I'm just trying to stay calm and accept that I've had the necessary treatment and tests.
I'm drinking organic pressed cranberry juice, loads of water and moving more as with my agoraphobia I haven't moved much in the past five months.
This was a really nasty infection that completely floored me. So if anyone is going through the same it's just best to get it checked out
Saga continues.
Still got pain, still not feeling right. They've sent another sample off today, the doctor actually said to me "I don't know what it is" great!!!
Been trying ridiculously hard to keep calm and not let my health anxiety cloud my physical symptoms but now I've just got this niggling feeling in my gut that it's something serious.
I keep envisioning myself as a daily mail article where they didn't catch the cancer in time.
And now I'm just getting myself upset.
I'm so fed up, I just want to wake up and feel normal!
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