Please Help..Terrified of Care

[Franchesca]

I was hoping someone could help me. I sought help and now I think I made a terrible error! 'I. I have severe osteoporosis suffer from brutal chronic pain due to a hard fall over two years ago. .Back, knees, thighs and legs. I can hardly walk,be very step is pain. Unable too use ibruphophen or alleve becauseor any of them due to stomach problems ..I use a walker, occasionally wheelchair. Also torn menicus. Shortly after my fall I went straight back into severe panic, health anxiety, agoraphobia. .I'm unable to leave my house, and depression, I get every day! My husband is frustrated and furious and my special- needs child confused and sad, many family members and friends have left me. I feel like I barely living.Therapy in the past did not help me much at all.:weep:

A neighbor have me A phone number too call..said they have a list of numbers I could call for " home visits" from doctors, I have a PA whom makes housecalls but I have a staph infection, need dental work, and physical therapy...Im petrified so scared about the staph. .need dermotoligist badly.

Anyway called number.. nurse said YES they do find doctors for home visits. .I was hopeful but then I learned it was HOSPICE CARE!? I know that means impending death. I did not think chronic pain, panic, agoraphobia and an infection would be cosudered " inpending death" She explained It would be receiving "PALLIATIVE CARE" but there is really no difference. All I wanted was doctor's to come to my home to treat me...till my pain and panic, at least get better. Does Pallative care mean I'm dying? I looked up the list of conditions..I don't Have them ( that I'm aware of) I feel like I'm dying but I never heard where panic depression and not walking can kill you? It's a free nurses visit but that word hospice makes me shake with fright. Can anyone PLEASE HELP? Have You Been thru pallative care and survived. Should I cancel?I'm so afraid.I gave been sick for so very long. Praying to God for help. Thank you very much.

---------- Post added at 23:33 ---------- Previous post was at 23:28 ----------

Please forgive typos. I'm shaking. Sorry for any errors. I pray someone can help me.

[Carnation]

OK. I only I would cancel until you find out more about them. This will calm you down and stop the panic.
Things may be different in the UK, but palliative care means care for people who can no longer look after themselves, but not because you are about to die. Obviously palliative care can also mean looking after people that have incurable diseases or end of life, but it does not sound like something you need from the way you are speaking.
You need home visits from nurses by the sounds of things with a check from Doc and maybe a home physio.
You may have to pay for some, I have no idea in the USA.
You could Pm Fishmanpa who is very up on this sort of thing. x

[Andrash]

I was hoping someone could help me. I sought help and now I think I made a terrible error! 'I. I have severe osteoporosis suffer from brutal chronic pain due to a hard fall over two years ago. .Back, knees, thighs and legs. I can hardly walk,be very step is pain. Unable too use ibruphophen or alleve becauseor any of them due to stomach problems ..I use a walker, occasionally wheelchair. Also torn menicus. Shortly after my fall I went straight back into severe panic, health anxiety, agoraphobia. .I'm unable to leave my house, and depression, I get every day! My husband is frustrated and furious and my special- needs child confused and sad, many family members and friends have left me. I feel like I barely living.Therapy in the past did not help me much at all.:weep:

A neighbor have me A phone number too call..said they have a list of numbers I could call for " home visits" from doctors, I have a PA whom makes housecalls but I have a staph infection, need dental work, and physical therapy...Im petrified so scared about the staph. .need dermotoligist badly.

Anyway called number.. nurse said YES they do find doctors for home visits. .I was hopeful but then I learned it was HOSPICE CARE!? I know that means impending death. I did not think chronic pain, panic, agoraphobia and an infection would be cosudered " inpending death" She explained It would be receiving "PALLIATIVE CARE" but there is really no difference. All I wanted was doctor's to come to my home to treat me...till my pain and panic, at least get better. Does Pallative care mean I'm dying? I looked up the list of conditions..I don't Have them ( that I'm aware of) I feel like I'm dying but I never heard where panic depression and not walking can kill you? It's a free nurses visit but that word hospice makes me shake with fright. Can anyone PLEASE HELP? Have You Been thru pallative care and survived. Should I cancel?I'm so afraid.I gave been sick for so very long. Praying to God for help. Thank you very much.

---------- Post added at 23:33 ---------- Previous post was at 23:28 ----------

Please forgive typos. I'm shaking. Sorry for any errors. I pray someone can help me.

Hi Franchesca,

I am really sorry for what you have been through. My heart goes out to you.

I definitely recommend arranging that visit. I would also suggest you to try to find a clinic (or better still, ask a doctor when he comes to visit you) in your area that specializes in this sort of thing (severe injuries, osteoporosis) and make an appointment. I know your previous therapies didn't work but you never know - maybe this one will and, besides, I think you will feel better when you're proactive and actually doing something to fight your condition. I think it can help with depression.

I don't know how things work in the States, but here in Germany hospice care does not have to be only for patients with terminal disease. It can also be for people who suffer from diseases that leave them bedridden or prevent them from leaving the house. In your case, I again repeat that you should arrange that doctor visit and than push him for specialist appointment cause your injuries/osteoporosis is probably treatable.

I wish you to recover quickly.

[Franchesca]

Thank you Carnation and Andrash...Very Very Much! Your replies could not of come at a better time. The housecall dr. I see now is on a "hiatus" a break from housecalls for a few months.....his PA has been helping me. I really dont have what you call " a primary" Now I may need to go there and that would be next to impossible. I know I will fall or faint or regurgitate, I've never fainted going out but have fallen and vomited...so humilating..my husband so mad.

One thing I cannot lose is my Klonopin med, its the only one Im on now regularly, except for a Tylenol once or twice a week for pain, that really does not help anyway, and the antibotics I was on are over.....but staph sore still there! PA says infection is gone, as far as he fan determine, BUT the purple sore is still under armpit...itching badly....really no pain...hope that means healing...no worse..but healing is so very slow.....how can staph infection be gone if sore is still there?? Its scaring me so on top of all my other problems.

Sorry I got sidetracked..the ONLY thing that helps, other than praying a lot, is my klonopin. I take a low dose, never ever abused it, in fact I will even under dose because I dont like meds. The klonopin makes it possible for me too sleep, eat and function at least a little. Im terrified if I get a new doctor from this place he will not give it to me. Male doctors in the past do not want to prescribe this...addiction problems....I know you cannot stop taking it cold turkey or you can have sezuiees and die. It must be weaned very slowly. I cannot stop crying...my husband is so mad at me...he thinks I brought this on myself...but I did not! It came like a thief in the night and stold my life. Completely.

I called Therapist up, out of desperation...she will work with me ..on the phone at a sliding scale...much cheaper...should I try a third time? She is very good, a psychologist....but cannot prescribe. Meds. One day I would like to get off klonopin, I know benzos are not good but I canot tolerate the antidepressants..how I wish I could leave my home to go to doctors..things would be easier. Physical pain along with emotional pain is so very intolerable. People have told me I will never get better.I PRAY to God They are wrong. I have been sick and in pain so long I dont know whats its like to feel better. Thank you for any replies...it truly helps!

[Andrash]

No problem at all Francesca, next time it will be you helping us.

So, first things first - your medication. You should not be scared of your doctor (whoever that is), as long as you explain to him why you need Clonopin as thoroughly as you are explaining it to us. I am sure (s)he will be understanding.

As for the therapist, definitely go for it. It will help you with your anxiety and depression and therefore you will be stronger to face other issues. As you very correctly said - physical pain along with emotional pain is intolerable. Counselling will help you get rid of/reduce at least the emotional pain.

More about emotions - I do not want to pry and apologize in advance if I am offending you, but your husband really needs to be more supportive. It is not about HIS feelings or HIM not being able to control his temper, it is about YOU getting better, whatever the costs, whatever (including vomiting in the street) it takes. Your priority has to be recovering, not worrying about his complete and utter selfishness, to put it bluntly. He has to understand that, has to stop being selfish and has to start supporting you - I may be conservative about this, but that is what the marriage is about - for better for worse, in sickness and in health. I might be naive, I do not know, but I believe in that - your husband should abide to that simple rule. And blaming you is simply horrible, totally unacceptable attitude - even his disability is not an excuse for that.

Last but not least - your visit to the doctor. I know it sounds horrible, but you should really try. If definitely not possible and if agoraphobia gets the better of you, you can always call the ambulance and they will take care of the rest. Again it does not mean impending death - it means you are temporarily not able to go out alone, but you will be when you recover physically and mentally and visiting the specialist is the first step to your recovery.

We will keep you in our thoughts/prayers and whenever you need feel free to come here and talk to us, we are (mostly :) ) nice friendly folk here.

[Franchesca]

Andrash...Thank you so much.I can't tell you how much your positive and compassionate reply helped me. I was going to write yesterday but my kindle would not boot up! I will keep the appt tommorow, its no charge and I'm hoping , as a RN she could possibly look at that stubborn purle sore under my arm that will not shrink, it only adds to my fears...MRSA and Staph...I probably need a dermotologist.......Andrash I need SO much medical help, and as I said I need partial dentures because I am missing six teeth. I look as ghastly as feel.

You in absoulutly NO way offended me, please no worries. Everything you said was true My husband is handling this very, making a bad situation worse. You cannot yell at a physically and emotionally sick person to do so is very cruel.

Today he told me I was going to fail... fail on getting better that was like being punched! He apologized later but the damage was done....he thinks he is using some sort of "tough love" on me....but that does not work...and I deserve btter, Im very. mad and upset with myself. already..I am just not going to talk to him much....I know sad but he is not helping a critical situation.

I will let you know what happens. my kindle is ready to boot off and I dont want lose this reply now, my stomach and my eyes hurt from crying. I am going to try to sleep a little now if I can, say my prayers..and rest
Awhile Hopefully ...thank you very much for helping me. Very grateful..

[Andrash]

Andrash...Thank you so much.I can't tell you how much your positive and compassionate reply helped me. I was going to write yesterday but my kindle would not boot up! I will keep the appt tommorow, its no charge and I'm hoping , as a RN she could possibly look at that stubborn purle sore under my arm that will not shrink, it only adds to my fears...MRSA and Staph...I probably need a dermotologist.......Andrash I need SO much medical help, and as I said I need partial dentures because I am missing six teeth. I look as ghastly as feel.

You in absoulutly NO way offended me, please no worries. Everything you said was true My husband is handling this very, making a bad situation worse. You cannot yell at a physically and emotionally sick person to do so is very cruel.

Today he told me I was going to fail... fail on getting better that was like being punched! He apologized later but the damage was done....he thinks he is using some sort of "tough love" on me....but that does not work...and I deserve btter, Im very. mad and upset with myself. already..I am just not going to talk to him much....I know sad but he is not helping a critical situation.

I will let you know what happens. my kindle is ready to boot off and I dont want lose this reply now, my stomach and my eyes hurt from crying. I am going to try to sleep a little now if I can, say my prayers..and rest
Awhile Hopefully ...thank you very much for helping me. Very grateful..


No problem at all and you are welcome.

By all means let us know. Moreover, I would suggest the following - try to compile a list of all physical and anxiety issues you need to solve and try to devise a plan to tackle one at a time, by order of priority. Every week or so, do a little "progress report" for yourself - what you have done to recover from issue A or B, what you plan to do next, how do you feel and so on. I believe this will help you in many ways - it would keep your mind occupied, you will feel better because you are proactive in getting better and it will also help you take control back in your life. You got overwhelmed by a plethora of issues and it is easy to lose track - by keeping/updating the list first yourself and then your doctors as well will know what to do and what to hit first :) And by all means show the list to your nurses/doctors/therapists - just say ok, these are my issues, these are the most problematic, I want to treat this first. It is relevant for both anxiety issues and physical issues. More importantly - it is you fighting back and taking the control back. Believe me, you will feel better once you do it. :)

As for the husband - it is a good decision from your side to speak less with him about it. Tough love is fine, but that is not what you need now - you need professional help from your doctors and compassion and support from your family. If he is not (yet) willing to give it - better to stay silent. And excellent job you kept your appointment - it will resolve your issue with (possible) staph infection - if it is not, one worry less. If it is, still remember nowadays it is easily treatable with antibiotics and boils usually subside within a week.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Franchesca I have read your introduction post it's very sad and also read the posts on here. You have a mixture of problems, some physical and some MH issues too the problem in your mouth I would have thought would be best dealt with the dentist as it's not a skin problem as such but then you have fear of being outside (: Wether there are mobile dentists or not I don't know you may need a second course of either a different antibiotic or a stronger dose to kill the infection again you need to seek professional help for this. Your hubby was very cruel to say you will fail, and that is not tough love atall so as some one else has said best stay silient it will only make matters worse. How ever I am going to offer you some tough love but kindly re your MH conditions what has been offered/given to you to help you? You have empathy from me but you simply cant continue as you are doing:hugs: ATB