Health Anxiety : A year on.....

[NewYorkgirl]

This month marks a year since the start if my most recent bout of Health Anxiety. And possibly my worst one yet. Since May 2017 I have lived in utter fear of
Psorasis
Hair Loss
Cervical Cancer
Ovarian cancer
Bowel Cancer
Appendicitis
Brain Tumour
Blood Clots
IBS
All of these had/have very real symptoms that completely dictate how I live my life. It has made me so miserable. For a whole year!! I keep saying it to myself because I can't believe that a year of my life had been consumed with all these things that haven't amounted to anything. Yet I still continue to worry, symptom check, Google, seek reassurance. Somedays are far better than others yet other days are a write off as soon as I wake up. The busier I am the better I am. It's a long road but there has to be an end eventually because I'm not wasting another year that I can't get back. I realise this is just a rambling post that has no relevance but maybe someone else will read it and think Wow that's me, all this time wasted. And start making baby steps to help themselves like I'm doing. Here's to a brighter happier 12 months.

[hanshan]

Hi NewYorkgirl - It's really good that you are focusing on your real problem, which is health anxiety. Simple logic will tell you that no-one could have all those illnesses in such a short space of time.

Are you getting any outside help/therapy? I'm not sure what is available to you, but it doesn't require someone expensive.

[BlueMoon24]

I can certainly relate!

I've gone through a HA fear of about 4 different things in the space of 6 weeks, in something of a HA relapse. I'm currently at the same point as you - I wish you all the best!

In the past I've gone months at a time where entire days are a complete write-off because I feel completely consumed by anxiety. It's such a horrible feeling but I'm certain the right long-term solution is there for me somewhere. Medication offered reprieve but it returned once my medication stopped - next up I'm considering some kind of therapy.

[cattia]

Hi New York Girl, I remember you from our hair loss days last summer! I bet you still have a full head of hair and so do I! Since then I've worried about inflammatory breast cancer, brain tumour, chronic fatigue syndrome, cervical cancer, interstitial cystitis and now lymphoma is my current worry. I've had HA my whole life but only recently has it been so constant, for me around 18 months with not much let up. What steps are you taking to help? Whatever they are I hope you are successful and that this summer is much better than last.

[NewYorkgirl]

Thanks everyone. I had hoped by writing it out and reading how long this had been going on it may have triggered something in me. Make me realise how much time I've already wasted. But today is another struggle. I'm so hyper aware of things that I notice any small change or symptom and I catastrophise it into something terrible. And it's that cycle I want to break. I'm working through CBT programs but at present my bad days are outnumbering my good. My current fixation ovarian cancer, and skin diseases. So I'm constantly checking my skin. An unusual spot on my arm has appeared today and I've had a meltdown thinking it's the start of some fast spreading disfiguring disease. Cue the constant checking...i want to get off this treadmill!
Cattia hi there, sorry to hear you're still going through it too. I know that feeling of no let up and it's exhausting. And you're right, I do still have a full head of hair!. It all speaks for itself but then that 'dragon' says what if this time it IS something...I hope this summer is better for us too x