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View Full Version : Am I having a blip/relapse? Really scared



EmmaSwan
05-06-18, 13:59
Hi everyone! I apologize if this post runs long, and I am going to keep it as concise as possible.

I really thought I had made a turning point with my anxiety! After many scary and miserable weeks, I felt 95% back to being myself. I went on a vacation that I had planned before my anxiety and panic set in, which involved multiple planes and being far away from the safety of home.I did great and had so much fun, and I really thought I was back to normal. The only signs of anxiety I had during vacation was a worry that my usual symptoms would come and ruin my great time, but they never manifested! I went to a zoo with my best friend, tried out many new restaurants, rode a carousel, and went to a nerd convention with thousands of people.

That was a little over two weeks ago and now I feel like I am falling backwards. I have been struggling badly with my anxiety and panic again. I have been having pervasive feelings of unreality, numbness, nausea, headaches, body jolts, feeling burning hot, no appetite, frequent urination, chest tightness and pain, and the normal feeling that I am going to pass out and/or ultimately die, or that something is terribly wrong with me and the doctors have missed it. Just before I left on my trip, I had an EKG and blood work done and both came back normal.

Two days after I returned home, my mom had emergency surgery and had to have one of her legs amputated below the knee. I have been back and forth to the hospital and rehabilitation to see her, which is a lengthy drive (I had been scared to drive once my anxiety and panic set in). I coped fine the first few days, but since Sunday I have been doing terribly. I felt very unreal when I visited her last night, and I woke up having a panic attack last night. I have not had nocturnal panic attacks in weeks.

(I apologize if it's TMI for the gentlemen out there, but I am also currently on my menstrual cycle and I have endometriosis, so this is always a painful and sick time for me as well - not sure if it could also be a contributing factor.)

Is it the stress of my mom's situation that could be causing this, and/or maybe it's just a normal relapse after feeling nearly back to 100% again? I had to call in from work today because I feel so exhausted from the panic attack last night, plus I am so nauseous. I am so tempted to go to the ER or nearest urgent care because I am struggling with these "what if?" thoughts so badly right now.

Any advice and/or reassurance would be so appreciated. I feel like I am back on the crazy train after I had finally gotten off and was heading towards full recovery! It's scaring me badly.

watercolors
05-06-18, 15:02
It isn't any wonder you're feeling anxious. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. My prayers go out to her. If you can take some time each day for yourself to try and relax, meditate, take a walk, anything to help you relax. Think about your vacation. Feel better.

EmmaSwan
05-06-18, 21:48
Thank you so much watercolors, I really appreciate your warmth and prayers for her. Good news is I just found out I can bring her home from rehabilitation tomorrow!

I have been doing meditation and yoga every day and I am going to try to continue that. I really need to get out of my own head if that makes sense. It's so hard not to focus on the anxiety right now.

watercolors
05-06-18, 22:15
I'm so glad you can bring her home. I'm sure you will take good care of your mom. Don't forget to take good care of yourself as well.

LisaS
13-06-18, 09:44
Totally get this - I have just posted the same thing.
How are you doing now - I feel utterly awful after doing so well... I was thinking of checking in to a mental health unit! But my nursey friend said I don't need that as I am still of sound mind and coherent! I know this but my mind is trying to tell me otherwise.
I hope you came out the other side and can give me some hope.

Lisa