lisa0406
07-06-18, 10:47
Dear everyone,
I haven't posted in a long time due to the fact that I was getting better and needed a break from everything I went through.
I suffered from a panic disorder since I was 18 (I am 28 now). From 2014 to 2017 I had to take a break from my life (University and everything) because I suffered from extreme DR / DP as well as very extreme and unusual "panic" attacks that lasted for days. I have had a lot of regular panic attacks in my life so I know what I'm talking about when I say this was worse. It was like pure doom. I wasn't afraid I was sick, going to die or whatever usually was that case.
It was just pure doom, fear without any cause. It became so severe that I had to check into a psychiatric hospital, but they couldn't help me at all. They were puzzled as to what is wrong with me. I was so in fear, my heart racing didn't stop all day and at night I could sleep, even blacked out one night because my brain just shut down from the fear. I couldn't think about anything else as to what the hell is going on with me, it was so scary. Finally they gave me Tavor on a regular basis as to calm me (even beta-blockers didn't do the trick with my extreme fear and heart racing).
All the health personnel I spoke with tried to say it was regular panic attacks but I know that difference and it was worse and held on for days. Now I am totally traumatized from everything I went trough and I don't know anybody ever who had those extreme attacks, which makes it even worse bc I don't know what is wrong with me and I seem to be the only one who experienced this ever. I became so depressed because of these severe fear episodes, the DR and everything. It was the worst time of my life and some days I don't even know how I survived that.
I post into this forum because I feel so alone with my struggle and maybe someone out there has had these extreme fear episodes. It posted it into the panic forum bc I didn't know where else to put it.
Since 2017 I am back In University and I felt better, though of course all of this changed and traumatized me. Now under a lot of stress and pressure it came back and with it all the memories of this fearful episodes that I tried to forget.
When I go to the doctor they don't really understand what I am going through. The only thing they know for sure is I am not psychotic, so at least something (not to be disrespectful against ppl with psychotic disorders).
Does anyone have any advice as to what to do, whom to ask or where to go with this? I sure as hell never wanna return to a psychiatric hospital, because they only made it worse (I have to say it was a clinic in a rural area so maybe not the best one you can get.)
Still people cannot cure me If they don't know whats wrong or misdiagnose me. And I just cannot seem to explain how horrible all this is, it is like a prison in my head.
I haven't posted in a long time due to the fact that I was getting better and needed a break from everything I went through.
I suffered from a panic disorder since I was 18 (I am 28 now). From 2014 to 2017 I had to take a break from my life (University and everything) because I suffered from extreme DR / DP as well as very extreme and unusual "panic" attacks that lasted for days. I have had a lot of regular panic attacks in my life so I know what I'm talking about when I say this was worse. It was like pure doom. I wasn't afraid I was sick, going to die or whatever usually was that case.
It was just pure doom, fear without any cause. It became so severe that I had to check into a psychiatric hospital, but they couldn't help me at all. They were puzzled as to what is wrong with me. I was so in fear, my heart racing didn't stop all day and at night I could sleep, even blacked out one night because my brain just shut down from the fear. I couldn't think about anything else as to what the hell is going on with me, it was so scary. Finally they gave me Tavor on a regular basis as to calm me (even beta-blockers didn't do the trick with my extreme fear and heart racing).
All the health personnel I spoke with tried to say it was regular panic attacks but I know that difference and it was worse and held on for days. Now I am totally traumatized from everything I went trough and I don't know anybody ever who had those extreme attacks, which makes it even worse bc I don't know what is wrong with me and I seem to be the only one who experienced this ever. I became so depressed because of these severe fear episodes, the DR and everything. It was the worst time of my life and some days I don't even know how I survived that.
I post into this forum because I feel so alone with my struggle and maybe someone out there has had these extreme fear episodes. It posted it into the panic forum bc I didn't know where else to put it.
Since 2017 I am back In University and I felt better, though of course all of this changed and traumatized me. Now under a lot of stress and pressure it came back and with it all the memories of this fearful episodes that I tried to forget.
When I go to the doctor they don't really understand what I am going through. The only thing they know for sure is I am not psychotic, so at least something (not to be disrespectful against ppl with psychotic disorders).
Does anyone have any advice as to what to do, whom to ask or where to go with this? I sure as hell never wanna return to a psychiatric hospital, because they only made it worse (I have to say it was a clinic in a rural area so maybe not the best one you can get.)
Still people cannot cure me If they don't know whats wrong or misdiagnose me. And I just cannot seem to explain how horrible all this is, it is like a prison in my head.