raya4
09-06-18, 16:36
So I'm fairly new to anxiety, about two months in and counting, and right now it's running my life. I understand that there are root causes probably coming from outside my body and I can see the rational connections--heart stuff petrifies me (and I am having a lot of rapid/elevated heartbeat, palps, etc.) because my mother has heart problems. If I get a headache, I am reminded that my dad died of a brain tumor, etc.
However every time a psychiatrist has tried to get me on a med, I chicken out after less than week. Because of my health anxiety, I will fixate on the side effects and I can't get myself over that hurdle. Secretly or not so secretly I think it's because I'm also terrified of medication so I go back and forth with wondering if my symptoms are really something to be concerned about versus it just all being in my head. I also don't understand how anyone manages to work and everything else while going through all the start-up fatigue and etc. I also feel I would need to take a leave of absence from work in order to make it happen and then of course I start getting anxiety about losing my job or not being able to pay my bills.
Question is did anyone else have this hurdle who is now on meds? And if so how to get past? I am on klonopin, but doesn't really cut it all away and also don't want to be on benzos longterm for daily use. Plus might have some depression/slight OCD built in and of course that does nothing for that.
I also think it doesn't help that while I know I shouldn't google, I wind up on forums (ha ha) reading everyones experiences with different meds so always wind up fearing the worst. I understand that most people go online when they struggle and not with the good stories, but it scares me before I even start and then its already in my head.
However every time a psychiatrist has tried to get me on a med, I chicken out after less than week. Because of my health anxiety, I will fixate on the side effects and I can't get myself over that hurdle. Secretly or not so secretly I think it's because I'm also terrified of medication so I go back and forth with wondering if my symptoms are really something to be concerned about versus it just all being in my head. I also don't understand how anyone manages to work and everything else while going through all the start-up fatigue and etc. I also feel I would need to take a leave of absence from work in order to make it happen and then of course I start getting anxiety about losing my job or not being able to pay my bills.
Question is did anyone else have this hurdle who is now on meds? And if so how to get past? I am on klonopin, but doesn't really cut it all away and also don't want to be on benzos longterm for daily use. Plus might have some depression/slight OCD built in and of course that does nothing for that.
I also think it doesn't help that while I know I shouldn't google, I wind up on forums (ha ha) reading everyones experiences with different meds so always wind up fearing the worst. I understand that most people go online when they struggle and not with the good stories, but it scares me before I even start and then its already in my head.