dode
11-06-18, 08:21
So at my work about 10 days ago, I came across a rusty pipe which seemed to have an open flange.. I was supposed to drain the pipework of water so tried to wedge this further open, but because of the rust, it was sort of stuck together. I ended up hitting it with a big spanner to loosen it, and saw some just going into the air, which I assumed was from the really rusty pipework. After about 5 minutes of hitting it and trying to wedge it open, I got it open and found out the gasket inside the flange was asbestos, and quite badly damaged. And the pipe seemed to be blocked meaning the gasket was dry so there's a good chance I've inhaled some fibers. I've been having major anxiety for the 10 days since, and am now seeing potential asbestos everywhere I look and I'm starting to have a total meltdown.
I spent a week reading almost every study done online about asbestos, asbestosis, mesothelioma, almost everything, and I realise the chance of one exposure causing illness is low, but then my anxiety would come back after I read about how asbestos gaskets have an almost pure asbestos content and are highly friable (crumbly and have more risk of releasing fibres into the air), and about the cases of people becoming ill after hardly any exposure.
Then, to make things worse, when I was looking for some sort of register of the asbestos at my work place (I assumed there would be one because of strict health and safety regulations, especially around asbestos) I came across an obscure document from years ago about how a big pile of loose asbestos dust (a sample taken at the time tested positive for chrisotile) was found around 4 years ago, described as "high risk" and it was around shoulder height beside a narrow walkway where people are always brushing past. I've probably passed it about 100 times in the last 4 years and made direct contact with it, and many times before, since the age of 19. I went back to check if the area had ever been cleaned (I couldn't remember as I hadn't paid much attention before finding this document) and there was still a huge pile of debris... the thing that upsets me the most is that my employer has known about this for 4 years, and have done literally NOTHING about it, not even as much as a warning or a sign. I would never have even learned about this if I hadn't been freaking out already. Myself and lots of other young workers in their 20s and 30s have been breathing this stuff in for years. Because of this I am now even more worried that a lot of the areas I suspect of having asbestos, actually are really badly contaminated, and my employer is deliberately ignoring those too.
I never found the register (I suspect the company keeps it hidden as it would open a can of worms if the workers knew how badly contaminated the place is and start falling ill in the future) so I have no idea where is safe and where is not.
I am freaking out and trying to come to terms with the fact I might die in my 40s or 50s because of something that could have been so easily avoided. I've cried myself to sleep the last few nights at the thought of not getting to see myself grow old because of this. I might never get to retire and enjoy being an old man. How can they get away with this negligence in 2018 when everyone knows the dangers? I'm stuck at work for another few days and my anxiety is stopping me from doing my job properly, I'm scared to go near walls or pipes or anything because I don't know where else there will be asbestos. I'm walking around constantly holding my breath. It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
I'm desperately looking for a new job because this place is ruining me physically and mentally, but another problem is that my qualifications limit me to other jobs similar to this, and other companies tend to have the same profit before safety mentality. To leave this type of job behind would probably mean taking an 80% pay cut which is not really an option right now.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can come to terms with the fact I might die young? I know it's still "unlikely" but that doesn't make me feel any better.. maybe if I could learn to accept what could happen I would feel better.
This is my first post on this site so I'm sorry if I'm a bit anxious to give out details on my job and other things in case someone know who I am.
I spent a week reading almost every study done online about asbestos, asbestosis, mesothelioma, almost everything, and I realise the chance of one exposure causing illness is low, but then my anxiety would come back after I read about how asbestos gaskets have an almost pure asbestos content and are highly friable (crumbly and have more risk of releasing fibres into the air), and about the cases of people becoming ill after hardly any exposure.
Then, to make things worse, when I was looking for some sort of register of the asbestos at my work place (I assumed there would be one because of strict health and safety regulations, especially around asbestos) I came across an obscure document from years ago about how a big pile of loose asbestos dust (a sample taken at the time tested positive for chrisotile) was found around 4 years ago, described as "high risk" and it was around shoulder height beside a narrow walkway where people are always brushing past. I've probably passed it about 100 times in the last 4 years and made direct contact with it, and many times before, since the age of 19. I went back to check if the area had ever been cleaned (I couldn't remember as I hadn't paid much attention before finding this document) and there was still a huge pile of debris... the thing that upsets me the most is that my employer has known about this for 4 years, and have done literally NOTHING about it, not even as much as a warning or a sign. I would never have even learned about this if I hadn't been freaking out already. Myself and lots of other young workers in their 20s and 30s have been breathing this stuff in for years. Because of this I am now even more worried that a lot of the areas I suspect of having asbestos, actually are really badly contaminated, and my employer is deliberately ignoring those too.
I never found the register (I suspect the company keeps it hidden as it would open a can of worms if the workers knew how badly contaminated the place is and start falling ill in the future) so I have no idea where is safe and where is not.
I am freaking out and trying to come to terms with the fact I might die in my 40s or 50s because of something that could have been so easily avoided. I've cried myself to sleep the last few nights at the thought of not getting to see myself grow old because of this. I might never get to retire and enjoy being an old man. How can they get away with this negligence in 2018 when everyone knows the dangers? I'm stuck at work for another few days and my anxiety is stopping me from doing my job properly, I'm scared to go near walls or pipes or anything because I don't know where else there will be asbestos. I'm walking around constantly holding my breath. It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
I'm desperately looking for a new job because this place is ruining me physically and mentally, but another problem is that my qualifications limit me to other jobs similar to this, and other companies tend to have the same profit before safety mentality. To leave this type of job behind would probably mean taking an 80% pay cut which is not really an option right now.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can come to terms with the fact I might die young? I know it's still "unlikely" but that doesn't make me feel any better.. maybe if I could learn to accept what could happen I would feel better.
This is my first post on this site so I'm sorry if I'm a bit anxious to give out details on my job and other things in case someone know who I am.