View Full Version : I hate health anxiety
I'm at my wits end with this dude (anxiety). He has been around too long and is bringing nothing but pain to the table.
What I've tried so far..
1) I'm on day 19 of Lexapro. It has helped with the OCD tendencies, but not with the thoughts. And I'm still extremely nauseous and anxious in the mornings.
2) I have discontinued all reassurance seeking acts. Haven't been to the doctor in 3 weeks.
3) I haven't touched my breast in 1 week, and I haven't googled in a little over a week either.
I'm trying so hard to believe the doctors and test, but my brain does not want to let it go, even with me not feeding the anxiety monster anymore.
How do I stop paying attention to ever pain, tingle, or twitch in my breast and armpit? How do I stop thinking about this stuff? Its exhausting. I cant do anything without shielding my breast for fear that it will rub up against something and terrify me. I am being tourchered by something that the doctors say isnt even real.
Please tell me the next step!
Please tell me the next step!
Keep up the good work! :yesyes: I'd say that's tremendous progress. It's typically a month before the meds stabilize in your system so hang in there. Look into CBT too. there are some free courses here (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=211324) and/or look into real life therapy. Now that your mind is calming down, you can better focus on the exercises to help quell the dragon.
Positive thoughts
Thank you FishMan! I'm trying extremely hard. It's hard to place all of your faith in one place, but I want it to work and I want it to be right. I just know that my brain is turned into my left breast right now and I'm noticing things that I probably never have before. I just wish I knew how to make it tune into something else lol.
Thank you FishMan! I'm trying extremely hard. It's hard to place all of your faith in one place, but I want it to work and I want it to be right. I just know that my brain is turned into my left breast right now and I'm noticing things that I probably never have before. I just wish I knew how to make it tune into something else lol.
Let's say you gained 50 pounds in the last two years and were going on a diet. Would you be discouraged that you lost 5 pounds in 19 days? I would hope not! It takes time. You started by taking one step and now you're several steps ahead. It's Ok to lose a step now and again or feel stuck for a bit. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get there.
It's like being a jet flying on autopilot. It doesn't fly a straight line. It goes up and down, side to side and encounters many bumps along the way but it does reach it's destination ;)
Positive thoughts
Thank you! You're right. I'm just extremely impatient
It took me months to get this bad and I have to assume it will take just as long to get better! Thank you for your words of encouragement!
fidgetninja
11-06-18, 12:58
Sounds like you are doing everything right! Keep it up!
Thank you! I'm trying, it's a day to day struggle.
I hate anxiety. I hate health anxiety. I hate the symptoms that comes along with it. I hate feeling alone. I hate envying people who handle their lives better than me.
Why does anxiety have to be such a cruel thing. I understand its purpose, but when the threat has passed, why can't it as well? When you've had tests to confirm there is nothing wrong, why wont your brain accept it and celebrate the victory?
I hate myself right now. I at my core believe that I am just fine, but my brain keeps tuning into the tiniest sensations and trying to convince me that were all wrong and that I'll be dead soon if I dont keep on the doctors. Why? I'm so tired of this vicious circle. It controls my life, even with meds.
We are supposed to go on vacation in 2 days and my husband wanted to go out and buy a few new outfits for him, myself, and our daughter yesterday. I didnt buy a single thing. I told him it was because I didnt like anything, but subconsciously it was because my every thought is hijacked and I am led to believe that I wont even be here to enjoy anything I buy, so why waste the money?
I have completely stopped touching my breast and it still feels weird. Like when I lift my arm a certain way, I can feel things moving about. When I'm just sitting here I am aware of my breast and everything that goes on inside of it, but not the other. Does this happen to anyone else? I dont even know how to describe it other than I just feel the breast without feeling it with my hands.
Anxiousamyj
11-06-18, 16:45
I can definitely sympathize. I hate it too. It's been almost a year of one worry after another, one test after another, one doctors appointment after another. I don't think it'll ever stop. I have been to CBT, psychiatrist, taken meds. Some days are better than others, but I hyperfocus on whatever my current worry is and it becomes an obsession. I wasn't always this way and sincerely hope I can get back to how I was before.
nomorepanic
11-06-18, 17:13
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Yes, I have OCD as well as my anxiety. I obsessively touched my breast looking for lumps, analyzing, trying to figure out what every piece inside could be. I had never up to this point even done a regular breast exam so much as obsess about it. But I found a lump of fat that messed with to the point that it became more noticable and I went for a mammogram and an ultrasound. All turned out clear. Wanted a second opinion with a surgeon so I got it and got the same verdict. So now my brain has centered into a different part of my breast trying to analyze it and figure out what it could be. Gyno says normal and no need for another scan, but my brain womt let it go. This is hell. I am just watching TV and it's like I can feel my breast. I guess it's all in my head but it feels very very real
Whoa. We are in the same process right now. I post about a dent in my breast about 10 days ago. Went to the doctor last Tuesday. Felt great and accepted her answer after a thorough breast exam every which way possible and she didn’t see it at all. Then I got into the shower tonight and I noticed my nipple looked puffy on one side and pointing the other direction. My husband didn’t notice it at all he says it’s always the same or, sorry-that’s the way it looks before the tissue contracts for erect nipples. I don’t see it that way though. I prayed that God just takes the worry away from me if it’s not something I need to be worried about, but like you I fear I’ll miss something and end up telling the doctors, “I told you so.” I NEVER want to say that, I prefer it the other way around. I see a counselor and this is the first time I’ve gone bi-weekly. It’s hard. I love going to her and spending my hour with her, if I try to get reassurance she either nods or says, “Wow, that’s some detrimental thinking, why do you feel you deserve to think that way?” I don’t have an answer I just feel like I won’t catch it soon enough and I’ll be given weeks or a few short months at best. It’s awful. I too was given Lexapro. I haven’t taken it yet as I’m currently on an antibiotic and didn’t want to do two at once. I fear meds so I feel like I’m doing well to have picked it up from the pharmacy at this point.
I did start doing more EFT videos on YouTube and a devotional daily. I am starting workouts tomorrow with a friend-apparently that’s excellent for anxiety so I’m going to start it again. Aside from that at my physical I had my vitamin b12 and magnesium checked and b12 was extremely low so I’m on 200mcg daily per my doctor. It helps a bit. That might be something to look into.
I’m sorry you feel this way, I hate this for us!
TikPandora
12-06-18, 07:35
I had a similar, yet completely different experience last August. It didn't involve my breasts though, but rather one of my testicles. I was actively searching for something, and as everyone knows, when you go hunting for bumps on the human body you're bound to find something.
My mind immediately went into overdrive, and the next day I had an appointment booked with my APRN. I was referred over to the hospital for a scrotal ultrasound, and a few days later, as well as an expensive appointment with a specialist...it turned out to be nothing but a harmless cyst. Well, a few harmless cysts...but harmless cysts nevertheless. Immediately after leaving the appointment I went into breakdown mode. That night at work I had a panic attack, absolutely freaked out, and walked out...basically quitting my job because of my anxiety.
Lo and behold, a year later almost and nothing has changed down there. It turns out I should have just believed my doctor, and the tests I had done and not kept questioning it. These people go to school for many years, spend thousands upon thousands of dollars, and put their heart and soul into getting the pieces of paper that show they are qualified to answer the questions we propose to them about our health. I've tried to learn over this past year that such experience is far more valuable than anything Dr. Google has for me.
The odd part about this story is that it is because of the tests I had done that I actually found out that I was Diabetic. So it's actually a good thing I had them done!
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