Feeling hopeless

[Anxiousamyj]

I have been suffering with this tailbone and rectal pain for almost 6 months now. I've had an x Ray and 3 digital rectal exams. I am terrified that this is cancer in my rectum. Anyone know if you would have bleeding with rectal cancer, or would things have gotten a lot worse by now? I feel like things are basically the same level at this point, but I'm not sure what else needs to be looked at, if anything. I haven't had any bleeding and had lost weight, but gained it back when my anxiety was more under control. It's been almost of year of constant health anxiety about something and I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling that this is hopeless. I'm in CBT and see a psychiatrist. My husband is getting really frustrated that I'm not doing better. It's so distracting, being so worried all the time. I'm home for the summer with my two daughters (I work at a school) and I had intended on having a lot of fun with them, but this damn anxiety won't let me. I feel like I should have a colonoscopy or something. I'm still exercising a lot, and I feel like that's a positive. Anyone have any advice for me? Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to wake up and face these fears on a daily basis.

[Mommyof1]

My great aunt just got diagnosed with colon cancer at 80. They diagnosed it very easily. She had surgery shortly after to remove it and that was that. No chemo, nothing scary! I know it's hard, I'm having the same troubles myself. But I'm certain they would have seen something on one of those tests. Wouldn't it be great if we could take our own advice? But it just feels much harder to believe when it's our life at stake. We only get one and we have to protect it. But to what point? The point of driving ourselves mad and not enjoying anything? Like I said, I'm in the same loop and wish i could believe it all and just relax, but I pray you find peace soon!

[Anxiousamyj]

That's how I feel. Stuck in a loop. I am feeling like I want to start the doctors appointments up again, as I need to know that this is something benign. I am just so tired of weird pains that don't go away. Some days, I feel almost normal. Others, like today, I feel completely lost and hopeless. I can't even manage to do the dishes or laundry. I did go to the gym this morning, which is pretty helpful, as it gets me out of the house and distracted for a short time. My husband is always annoyed when he comes home and nothing has been done. I feel like this anxiety is going to wreck my marriage as well.

[Anxiousamyj]

So, I took some of my klonopin this afternoon, which I try to not do very often, but I was feeling pretty bad. It definitely lessened my pains. Does this mean that I can definitely say the pains are anxiety? Or would the klonopin just distract me from them, OR does klonopin have pain relieving properties?