Terrified of Melanoma

[canadian1000]

I am currently dealing with crippling fear and anxiety.

I am a 29 year old male. Since I was about 17 years old, I have worshipped the sun. For about 10.5 years cumulatively, I frequented tanning salons multiple times a week.

When I stopped tanning and the tan faded, I realized how many moles I have on my body - mostly my torso. They are all flat, most small. There are a few larger ones. I have had a dermatologist look at my back a few times; he didn’t spend much time except to say that nothing looked suspicious.

I am deathly terrified that I am going to develop melanoma. In fact, in my mind, I have pretty much determined that it’s not a matter of IF but when. I have constantly tried to seek self-assurance by reading stuff online which, of course has made it worse because the stats are scary. The fear is paralyzing. I went to my doctor and asked him to refer me to a hospital for another screening. He circled a mole on my back and said this should be looked at (although, it had been looked at previously and wasn’t a concern to the dermatologist). I am actually not extremely concerned about the one he circled because while it is a bit darker than others, it is not really all that crazy looking.

Can someone please offer me some comforting words to help me feel like a slow, disfiguring and very scary death isn’t knocking on my door?

Thanks.

[Anxiousamyj]

Most melanomas from tanning are easy to spot if you keep your eyes open and get regular screenings. Most spread out before going down and it something you’d notice. My good friend (a redhead) had melanoma a couple years ago in her mid 30s. She is fine now. It was a surgical removal, no chemo or radiation. Just get skin cancer screenings regularly and you’ll be fine. I was a tanning bed addict for a couple years myself and I worry about it, but am just sure to check my moles periodically for changes or new ones. Most melanomas are actually new growths instead of changes in the old ones.

[Cab9792]

A melanoma mole would make itself known after a while. Changing colors, getting larger, just start looking different. If a dermatologist looked at you and didn’t even feel the need to save his butt and biopsy, I really think you are ok!

[leebop]

You are the male version of me. I too tanned constantly and feel like I’m a ticking time bomb. When I went to therapy for it she explained that the media and google put the fear factor in you. Most melanoma adds are from sunscreen commercial which benefit by selling more products. I stayed out of the sun for 10 years until my depression and anxiety peaked and but d was so low. I went to Bali and allowed myself to lay in the sun and the health benefits for my brain was amazing. I’ve learnt not to be to scared of the sun. We do need it. Just don’t be silly. :)

[Andrash]

I am currently dealing with crippling fear and anxiety.

I am a 29 year old male. Since I was about 17 years old, I have worshipped the sun. For about 10.5 years cumulatively, I frequented tanning salons multiple times a week.

When I stopped tanning and the tan faded, I realized how many moles I have on my body - mostly my torso. They are all flat, most small. There are a few larger ones. I have had a dermatologist look at my back a few times; he didn’t spend much time except to say that nothing looked suspicious.

I am deathly terrified that I am going to develop melanoma. In fact, in my mind, I have pretty much determined that it’s not a matter of IF but when. I have constantly tried to seek self-assurance by reading stuff online which, of course has made it worse because the stats are scary. The fear is paralyzing. I went to my doctor and asked him to refer me to a hospital for another screening. He circled a mole on my back and said this should be looked at (although, it had been looked at previously and wasn’t a concern to the dermatologist). I am actually not extremely concerned about the one he circled because while it is a bit darker than others, it is not really all that crazy looking.

Can someone please offer me some comforting words to help me feel like a slow, disfiguring and very scary death isn’t knocking on my door?

Thanks.

You don't have melanoma now, your derm confirmed that. For the future, just go once a year for a screening, don't Google and treat your anxiety.

[TikPandora]

Doctor Google is the worst physician on the planet. Trust me, I've went to see him many times and I've always come back with more questions than answers.

Melanoma isn't just silent. It's not going to sit there and remain unchanged while attacking the rest of your body. The best advice would be to keep going for yearly screenings and keeping a close eye on anything that looks like it could be suspicious. But keep in mind that the human skin is kind of like a canvas, and new drops of paint appear almost daily. If the specific drop of paint that you are concerned about doesn't change or shift it's appearance, simply ignore it and focus on the other drops that make the prettier picture.

Terrible analogy, but I guess I'm not the best wordsmith...heh

[canadian1000]

Thank you all for your thoughtful and empathetic responses. When I visited the dermatologist in the past, he mostly examined my back and didn’t really look at the front. The front is what is causing my anxiety as I have many atypical moles (that’s my self-diagnosis, not his).

I suppose I will have to wait until I see a derm, but in the meantime, I can’t shake the feeling that death is knocking on my door.

It’s weird how you type in “photos of skin cancer” in Google and find everything from normal looking moles to sinister monster-looking moles. How is one supposed to be able to identify melanomas or skin cancer in general when even normal looking moles can be malignant!?

[ktdid2000]

I'm light skinned and fair headed, so I know this fear well. I never went to tanning beds, but I did lay out in the sun quite a bit to get a tan throughout high school. I looooved the sun. Got a few burns, every once in a while I would get a peeling one but mostly just redness then a tan.

Now in my old(er) age of mid-30s I see all the damage I did back then. I have lots of spots, freckles, and tiny moles. And my derm actually says I DON'T have that much sun damage believe it or not. My dad has had basal cell cancers removed before but he's in his 60s. Because of my history I go get a skin check once a year.

I believe one thing I read about before that helped was to look for the "ugly duckling", or the mole that looks different from your other moles. Everyone's moles look kind of the same. Like I have a bunch that have multiple shades of brown in them (which would normally be a sign for a melanoma) or have irregular non-circular borders, but since there are a ton that look exactly like that it's not an "ugly duckling". If I got one that started growing or one that popped up that was blue or something I would go get it checked out.

So take a skin survey and see what's normal for you after you get checked out by a derm (who says everything is normal for now) and see what your range of "normal" is.

[Andrash]

How is one supposed to be able to identify melanomas or skin cancer in general when even normal looking moles can be malignant!?

That is the whole point - one IS NOT. Forget what google says about self checking, ABCDEs, killer pimples and whatever. Self checking and self diagnosis are unreliable for your physical health and very damaging for your mental health - do not do it. Reasonable thing to do is to trust your derm - do a yearly complete skin check (it is quite enough - it enables every suspicious mole (if there are some) to be removed in time and with no consequences for future health) and in the meantime forget about it. Just forget about it - and treat your anxiety. Of course, as an extra precaution, use sunscreen when sunbathing.

[lscmich]

Doctor Google is the worst physician on the planet. Trust me, I've went to see him many times and I've always come back with more questions than answers.

Melanoma isn't just silent. It's not going to sit there and remain unchanged while attacking the rest of your body. The best advice would be to keep going for yearly screenings and keeping a close eye on anything that looks like it could be suspicious. But keep in mind that the human skin is kind of like a canvas, and new drops of paint appear almost daily. If the specific drop of paint that you are concerned about doesn't change or shift it's appearance, simply ignore it and focus on the other drops that make the prettier picture.

Terrible analogy, but I guess I'm not the best wordsmith...heh

This post gave me the slightest bit of relief although I still feel like suffocating every single minute. I am, too, terrified of Melanoma but in the eye, as I noticed a new brown freckle in the white part of the eye 5 years ago. Opthalmologist looked at it but she’s not concerned, the patch hasnt changed since then. However i am worrying about dying everyday and this pains me, i’ve since then diagnosed with anxiety and borderline depression because of this. The uncertainty is terrfiying and I just feel so hopeless as no one listens, ever.