Sarcoma Cancer/General Cancer worries

[LouiseAndy]

So.... It seems I have fallen off the "I won't post here again!" bus.

Today after reading 4 different horrible cases of Sarcoma Cancer happening to people in my country all around my age has put me into a panic.

I have pain in pelvis, all along my leg for the last few weeks. I've put this down to sitting strangely a lot or just a pulled muscle. Like it's mainly in my right leg. Like whenever I walk the muscle feels rather strained like it's being pulled. The area feels tense to touch. I also generally get pain mainly in that knee but also in the right. The area where my the top of my leg and hip meets is the worst pain-its all pain. I'm to scared to go look for lumps or anything! I also have lots of lower back pain. Lots of other things like head/ears/nose-just all nothing I wasn't that worried about going over board!

Like I also have this like lump on my left wrist, I go through stages about worrying about it and not worrying about it. I meant to bring it up to the Doctor a few times but never did. So of course my mind is making me freak out if it's serious or not and I've missed my chance with that..like so many other things. I often notice that had going numb a lot and I did have a lot of pain in that wrist before.

I've had lots of blood tests and I CT scan I think might have covered my pelvis area?

I'm rather upset with myself for starting this again! Like now I'm worried I have like some type of rare cancer somewhere and it's being missed. Like a tumor laying on something or tucked in to area between my jaw or ear. I have seen some people mention these areas and tried to keep myself calm but I'm really starting to freak out.

That the reason my head feels heavy is propably just sinus or hay-fever not the horrible off chance it might be cancer spreading--my mind always jumps to cancer spreading at any odd feeling.

I can't get the money to see a doctor right now and I dont know if I really wanna go back with yet another issue that I propably don't have. :weep:

P. S the pain especially in my knee is way worse at night while some pain is worst during periods of standing or movement? And there's time when everything feels bad. I can't sleep right now. I'm just falling into another worry. I was really trying my best. I can't afford to go to the doctor and I have no one to ask for a loan to go. Everyone is sick of me worrying all the time so I feel so alone.

---------- Post added at 02:18 ---------- Previous post was at 01:00 ----------

So basically I would love to be told, I'm just being dramatic and far to aware for my own good. Like I am managing to stop myself from feeling around for lumps...but I feel like that's part of me being to scared to look :weep::weep::weep:

[LouiseAndy]

Someone? Anyone please? I just saw a update about something to do with this topic and I'm at my end.

[ToasterOvens]

Been down the road of sarcoma worries, just like you. I'm not down that road currently.

I calmed myself by remembering that sarcomas are rare. Even all of the various types combined are rare. Some of them present in really obvious ways with lots of swelling. Most don't affect all age groups.

I'm 28 and I have lots of pain. I drank last weekend and I'm still in pain. (lol) I slept weird two weeks ago and couldn't move my neck. Doing yardwork on a weekend causes a week of pain.

You sound like a regular person with regular pain, and I mean that as a good thing. Don't look for lumps. My shins and legs are super lumpy.

[LouiseAndy]

Been down the road of sarcoma worries, just like you. I'm not down that road currently.

I calmed myself by remembering that sarcomas are rare. Even all of the various types combined are rare. Some of them present in really obvious ways with lots of swelling. Most don't affect all age groups.

I'm 28 and I have lots of pain. I drank last weekend and I'm still in pain. (lol) I slept weird two weeks ago and couldn't move my neck. Doing yardwork on a weekend causes a week of pain.

You sound like a regular person with regular pain, and I mean that as a good thing. Don't look for lumps. My shins and legs are super lumpy.

Thank you so much for talking the time to reply! I suppose it is a bit over worrying to Freak out at pain for that last a week or two. I'm sure if it was something like that it would last for longer become more intense? Well I'm going to think that anyway.

Thank you once again for replying!

[LouiseAndy]

Today the pain wasn't really there when I woke up? Like it wasn't as intense in certain areas but still happened. It seems to shift places every day? And returns to other areas. Surely if it was sarcoma or some other horrible cancer/illness it would be constantly and never letting up not even for a few hours?

The weather been changing a lot here and my phyical active shifts up and down a lot depending on the day? Like I went on a walk yesterday and took over 10,000 steps on the walk with very little difficulty. Like I was swore or had pain but no little overwhelming?

So maybe a bit of a over thinking on my part. Doing my best to remind myself that it's rare and I did have a ct in my pelvis area before when I had my kidneys and all that checked (I think so anyway). All my blood tests have come back good and no issues with anything. So doing my best to keep my mind on things and not dwelling.

Like I've kept my hands away and not feeling around. No visable lumps on my legs or anywhere really! I've also not lost any weigh recently? Like maybe a pound here or there but not like anything huge!

Also a little tmi:
But I was going to get the coil in by my gp (In November) at her office. She did have a "feel around" which was unforcomatble but she didn't seem to notice anything? Like no lumps or discolor on the inside? I didn't get the coil but in there before I was moving to much and she would worried of hurting me so I'm waiting on a hoistpal letter to get it done.

[LouiseAndy]

Today at work I noticed that my knee only really has pain when I lift or turn my leg a certain way. It also kinda hurts and it feels like there's something there whenever I bend down (I work as kitchen staff part time as a student).

I'm still having a lot of on and off pain! The pain in my lower back is worse. I'm noticing a pain/pressure in my ear/jaw seems to be worse and on the other side a bit now?? I also had a lot of pressue behind my nose. A uncomfortable amount. This has been going on a few weeks propably a few months now while the leg/back pain is the last few weeks or so. Doing my best best to stay postive!! Even setting up to meet my friend after work!

[LouiseAndy]

Update: I'm heading out to meet my friend for the the evening! I have a lot of pain espaiclly in my jaw/ear/teeth area and all the other areas. (Even a banging headache/pressure and nose stuff) but I'm not feeling to overwhelmed by it?? Wish me luck ❤️❤️

[Andrash]

When I suffered from HA, sarcoma was one of my fears. However, it is extremely rare and, even when occurs, usually comes in childhood. Therefore, your chances to have sarcoma are zero.

[LouiseAndy]

When I suffered from HA, sarcoma was one of my fears. However, it is extremely rare and, even when occurs, usually comes in childhood. Therefore, your chances to have sarcoma are zero.

Thank you so much for your reply!
I know it's a little out there that I'd actually get it but the mind can really take over sometimes!

[LouiseAndy]

So! I was doing semi well dealing with everything when I was laying down last night I accidently brushed my hand along and I could feel a hard lump in my stomach. I manged to keep my hands off but I kept thinking about it and my my making up links to all these pains.

I'm trying to not freak out and go back on this wagon. I had a ultrasound just at the start of the year and a CT scan. Surely thought would have found something? My doctor had also felt around before. I'm trying to use these as reason not to freak out but I kept worrying these missed something or weren't looking in the right area.

I will say, I am carrying a bit of weight in the stomach area but I did feel something hard and lump like but I'm staying away... The best I can for now. I'm only 21. I don't want this to take over my mind

[ToasterOvens]

You're looking for stuff to worry about. The muscles/fat in my stomach feels like marbles sometimes.

[LouiseAndy]

You're looking for stuff to worry about. The muscles/fat in my stomach feels like marbles sometimes.

You're right! It's like my mind moves from one issues to another. I shouldn't look for links in everything. Like there propbaly would have something pop up in one of those tests! And the stomach pain could be from the stress (of always worrying) mix in with other stomach issues I have!

Thank you so. So much for replying. I really mean it. I went for a long drive this evening and tried some therapy worksheets to clear my mind and think things out. Trying to be more reasonable then singing my last rights!

[LouiseAndy]

So today even tho I had a lot of physical and mental exhaustion. As well as some old and reoccurring pain-I've manged to stay in good mindset? Putting everything done to just some commen issue and nothing that serious! Like for example the place where I found the lump in my stomach had also had pain but I haven't freaked out? The knee thing for example is now just more annoying then worrying! Same with the rest also.

Like all the mouth/ear pain (now on both sides) is propbaly just some wisdom teeth or something? I had been to the dentist a few times before Christmas and surely he would have noticed something!

I think my body has been so filled with anxiety that last night when I was trying to sleep my mind started worrying why my heart was so calm while trying to sleep as I've started to put everything down to non serious issues :blush:

Like I have been feeling kinda off today like when I stood up I felt kinda faith but I am coming up to my period and such! Like so many girls my age I am lacing in iron!

[Confetti]

Unless you want to start asking for tests every week and have a doc feel every lump and contour, you need to accept there's only so much you can do to keep watch. You're doing plenty, exhausting work, everything has been explored on the matter for a good while. It's fine to be hyper vigilant but you gotta leave it be once it's established that a particular condition is not developing, your fear will ensure it's embedded in the background of your mind, if anything untoward is sensed, the cogs will turn. Cancer can come to any body on this planet, it's hideous truth, it is important to acknowledge this and get to know your body but standing guard as determinedly as if each headache represents a tumour and such, it makes you unwell and you have life to live at the moment.

[LouiseAndy]

Unless you want to start asking for tests every week and have a doc feel every lump and contour, you need to accept there's only so much you can do to keep watch. You're doing plenty, exhausting work, everything has been explored on the matter for a good while. It's fine to be hyper vigilant but you gotta leave it be once it's established that a particular condition is not developing, your fear will ensure it's embedded in the background of your mind, if anything untoward is sensed, the cogs will turn. Cancer can come to any body on this planet, it's hideous truth, it is important to acknowledge this and get to know your body but standing guard as determinedly as if each headache represents a tumour and such, it makes you unwell and you have life to live at the moment.


Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. This is truly a great view on things. You're right. I'm wasting whatever time I have here on worrying about things that could possible happen rather than doing stuff for the postive with myself.

I was just about to update this point to say, that the pain was far less today. The less I didn't think about it at work the less it was there. I've had lots of tests in the last few months, some showing minor issues but nothing that serious. I've had more tests then someone who's been told horrible sister news at this stage.

Like I had a ct of my abdomin. That would have shown a lot of different issues. I've had countless blood tests, a ultrasound-tests I propbaly can't think to list. I'm health phyical with some little issues. I need to work better in my mental health and moving forward. I'm alright as if right now. That what matters. Not checking for lumps or bumps and thinking so deeply into every single pain.

Sorry for the long reply--it's also mixed with a update? Thank you so much.

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 21:36 ----------

P.S I just thought of this and thought it would be good to add as a joke. Just because I'm a one in a million girl doesn't mean I'll have a one in a million illness!

[LouiseAndy]

I haven't been on this for 2 days and I'm going to really push myself for a longer break!

Yet its been a mixed back. I have a lot of pain (not unbearable) in my stomach (mainly on the left hand side, the area as I thought or did whatever found the lump) I'm trying to reassure myself it's propbaly ibs or something! As anything that awful would have been seen on the ultrasound in February and the CT in March!

I've also been sleep a bit better tho- a bit to much. I've taken two naps the last two days and that made me slightly nervous as I'm someone who does that so I'm. My mind it went blah blah with all this serious stuff. Yet it's propbaly just the fact I'm not so high up in anixety that I can calm down enough and not fear (another fear) dying in my sleep bit mintue.

I still have some leg/back pain before I can carry on a lot better with it! Saying to myself that nah I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do if it was something that horrible.

Anyway--goodbye for now!

[LouiseAndy]

Update:

So having horrible stomach pains at the moment (they think I have IBS but waiting on tests till good knows when) so my fear of sarcoma due to the intense pain and bloating/that hard lump that I found.

If it's not sarcoma it's some other cancer or tumor. Like liver, pancreas etc. I just feel so lost.

---------- Post added at 22:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:38 ----------

Like I sat down and tried to do all of my therapy sheets but nothing seemed to work. Things feel so awful. The pain in my back is even worse.

I suppose its time at this I wish I could remind myself it's all anixety really pushing the point. It all feels so painful especially on the left side where I thought I found said lump. I just feel so horrible. I tried talking to my Mam calmly about this and she just snapped at me. I don't mean to be annoying or overwhelming. I know she's felt with a lot with me but I can't cope.

[LouiseAndy]

Well, reading over this was something!

I think my panic really took over yesterday. I've settled down a bit now. Last night before bed I can't getting pains in my best which set me off worse but this morning I refused to give into those same thoughts of panic again. It clearly isn't helping anything! I think what puts me off most is where the pain is, how intense it is and how long it lasts. I also get a strange full feel in my upper stomach sometimes.

My stomach did hurt a lot today and still does but it's good to remind myself that IBS hurts everyone differently. I went on a very long walk today and spent a lot of time in the nice sunshine to try and keep myself in a good mind set.

[elle95]

So.... It seems I have fallen off the "I won't post here again!" bus.

Today after reading 4 different horrible cases of Sarcoma Cancer happening to people in my country all around my age has put me into a panic.

I have pain in pelvis, all along my leg for the last few weeks. I've put this down to sitting strangely a lot or just a pulled muscle. Like it's mainly in my right leg. Like whenever I walk the muscle feels rather strained like it's being pulled. The area feels tense to touch. I also generally get pain mainly in that knee but also in the right. The area where my the top of my leg and hip meets is the worst pain-its all pain. I'm to scared to go look for lumps or anything! I also have lots of lower back pain. Lots of other things like head/ears/nose-just all nothing I wasn't that worried about going over board!

Like I also have this like lump on my left wrist, I go through stages about worrying about it and not worrying about it. I meant to bring it up to the Doctor a few times but never did. So of course my mind is making me freak out if it's serious or not and I've missed my chance with that..like so many other things. I often notice that had going numb a lot and I did have a lot of pain in that wrist before.

I've had lots of blood tests and I CT scan I think might have covered my pelvis area?

I'm rather upset with myself for starting this again! Like now I'm worried I have like some type of rare cancer somewhere and it's being missed. Like a tumor laying on something or tucked in to area between my jaw or ear. I have seen some people mention these areas and tried to keep myself calm but I'm really starting to freak out.

That the reason my head feels heavy is propably just sinus or hay-fever not the horrible off chance it might be cancer spreading--my mind always jumps to cancer spreading at any odd feeling.

I can't get the money to see a doctor right now and I dont know if I really wanna go back with yet another issue that I propably don't have. :weep:

P. S the pain especially in my knee is way worse at night while some pain is worst during periods of standing or movement? And there's time when everything feels bad. I can't sleep right now. I'm just falling into another worry. I was really trying my best. I can't afford to go to the doctor and I have no one to ask for a loan to go. Everyone is sick of me worrying all the time so I feel so alone.

---------- Post added at 02:18 ---------- Previous post was at 01:00 ----------

So basically I would love to be told, I'm just being dramatic and far to aware for my own good. Like I am managing to stop myself from feeling around for lumps...but I feel like that's part of me being to scared to look :weep::weep::weep:

How are you doing Louise ? have you been feeling better? I'm having and I'm afraid it could be a sarcoma too. I can't stop thinkjng about it.

[LouiseAndy]

How are you doing Louise ? have you been feeling better? I'm having and I'm afraid it could be a sarcoma too. I can't stop thinkjng about it. Warning: this could trigger Not too long ago I read about a 25 year old young woman who was a hypochindriac in her teens and when she turned 25 she was diagnosed with sarcoma that had already spread and was terminal. I'm scared it is happening to me right now I'm 22 it's in the age range of a sarcoma :(

Tbh I've been doing much better later! I haven't thought about this post in awhile. I find I can't keep reading about those things. A guy who I knew had a type of Sarcoma and sadly past away. I don't think it's good to mention triggers on posts though? Reading over that unsettled me slightly. I think it's good to read some of the wonderful replays I got though! It really helped me out.

[pulisa]

You are doing well, Louise. You can probably see now how these threads can trigger you when you're fragile? You've moved on now-maybe you should post a link on here to your post on the Success Stories board? x

Onwards and upwards as you say! xx

[elle95]

Tbh I've been doing much better later! I haven't thought about this post in awhile. I find I can't keep reading about those things. A guy who I knew had a type of Sarcoma and sadly past away. I don't think it's good to mention triggers on posts though? Reading over that unsettled me slightly. I think it's good to read some of the wonderful replays I got though! It really helped me out.

I'm sorry i deleted hope it hasn't caused that much distress x I'm really happy to hear that you're feeling and hope you continue to feel like that x :) I cannot stop thinking of these sort of stories and can't get over of the compulsive googling about this :( I hope in the meantime I get well too but by now -until I reach out to a psychiatrist- don't know how to deal with this cause the pain feels too real :/

[LouiseAndy]

You are doing well, Louise. You can probably see now how these threads can trigger you when you're fragile? You've moved on now-maybe you should post a link on here to your post on the Success Stories board? x

Onwards and upwards as you say! xx

Thank you as always Pulisa! :D

@Elle95, Sorry if my reply came out snappy before! I didn't mean it too. I don't tend to read over my old posts! They set me off sometimes. Like I slept at my friends house yesterday and that gave me a lot of lower back pain- sleeping on a lumpy couch is never fun is it :winks: Like before I could dwell on that pain a lot like in this post here. Here's a link to my latest update! http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=1813321#post1813321

As for the guy I mentioned who had sarcoma- he was very ill. Very ill for a long time, he refused to go to the gp for over two years and lived in horrible pain all that time. I'm not saying that to scare you hun! I can't speak on all types of the illness but I hope you're going to be okay :flowers::flowers:

[pulisa]

The pain IS real though, elle. It's just not caused by anything organic or sinister. The symptoms reflect your mental distress.

[elle95]

Thank you as always Pulisa! :D

@Elle95, Sorry if my reply came out snappy before! I didn't mean it too. I don't tend to read over my old posts! They set me off sometimes. Like I slept at my friends house yesterday and that gave me a lot of lower back pain- sleeping on a lumpy couch is never fun is it :winks: Like before I could dwell on that pain a lot like in this post here. Here's a link to my latest update! http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=1813321#post1813321

As for the guy I mentioned who had sarcoma- he was very ill. Very ill for a long time, he refused to go to the gp for over two years and lived in horrible pain all that time. I'm not saying that to scare you hun! I can't speak on all types of the illness but I hope you're going to be okay :flowers::flowers:

I'm sorry to hear about your friends story, I hate cancer so much and when it happens to young people/children makes me even more mad :(
Aw don't be sorry and don't worry dear I really understand x I feel you omg I'm really glad you've moved on. I first read your other thread before replying and girl wow you've been through many difficult things I'm so sorry to hear that :( but I'm so very happy that you have decided to take the reins of your life, you're so brave and I admire you for that , don't know if is this pms haha but I am emotional now because I wish I could make the same choice and not let these fears take over my life, I hope you keep letting positivity reign and I wish you all the best dear, enjoy your life, you deserve it, you're just 22 uh oh :) Your post made me feel better thank you so much, one day I hope to make the same decision hope it doesn't take a long time x

---------- Post added at 17:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:06 ----------


The pain IS real though, elle. It's just not caused by anything organic or sinister. The symptoms reflect your mental distress.

Thank you for replying Pulisa, it's hard to accept it but I just I really can get over this, I hate being so negative x

[LouiseAndy]

I'm sorry to hear about your friends story, I hate cancer so much and when it happens to young people/children makes me even more mad :(
Aw don't be sorry and don't worry dear I really understand x I feel you omg I'm really glad you've moved on. I first read your other thread before replying and girl wow you've been through many difficult things I'm so sorry to hear that :( but I'm so very happy that you have decided to take the reins of your life, you're so brave and I admire you for that , don't know if is this pms haha but I am emotional now because I wish I could make the same choice and not let these fears take over my life, I hope you keep letting positivity reign and I wish you all the best dear, enjoy your life, you deserve it, you're just 22 uh oh :) Your post made me feel better thank you so much, one day I hope to make the same decision hope it doesn't take a long time x

---------- Post added at 17:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:06 ----------



Thank you for replying Pulisa, it's hard to accept it but I just I really can get over this, I hate being so negative x

I've had a very difficult year! You can see how negative and stress I was all the time! Like I do still worry about my health. Like sometimes my heart beats fast or my ear feels strange but I have to remind myself. I'm okay, I'm going to be okay. I really wasn't moving forward until I started therapy! I'm lucky with that. I know not everyone can get it. Keep your head up high hun! You can do it. You'll get through this! :bighug1: i BIG tip my therapist gave me was to block websites with medical stories or stuff! What you don't know can't hurt you. Like don't compare yourself to others! Your positive growth and progress is big no matter how small it might seem. Like maybe not google something for a day, it's a big positive step! I wish you well :D

[LouiseAndy]

I just want to bump this given some light to a issues. A girl in my country has a rare sarcoma and I've been following her as a blogger for years before this. So it was hard just to leave her page. Sadly after thinking she would be given another chance at life after a trip to London....it looks like she has two years at most let.

After watching this person for so many years it a strange mix of feelings. Of course my heart goes out to her and her family. She's only 23. Her Dad also has cancer. It's a lot for any family.

Yet in a selfish way my own mind started going like...oh what about that pain I've had here...and here...what about this ear thing...what about...thinking about it all being something deadly and sinister. That sitting here with something serious. Which is so overwhelming selfish.

[lucymarie]

I just want to bump this given some light to a issues. A girl in my country has a rare sarcoma and I've been following her as a blogger for years before this. So it was hard just to leave her page. Sadly after thinking she would be given another chance at life after a trip to London....it looks like she has two years at most let.

After watching this person for so many years it a strange mix of feelings. Of course my heart goes out to her and her family. She's only 23. Her Dad also has cancer. It's a lot for any family.

Yet in a selfish way my own mind started going like...oh what about that pain I've had here...and here...what about this ear thing...what about...thinking about it all being something deadly and sinister. That sitting here with something serious. Which is so overwhelming selfish.

Someone elses story is their's not yours and just because they have a rare type of A, B or C has absolutely no bearing on you getting it unless they are related to you AND it has a genetic predisposition or it's something contagious. I know it's scary when you see/read/hear these stories but you have to draw the line between you and them.

[pulisa]

HA is a very selfish condition, Louise. You are so fortunate to "just" have HA-this poor girl doesn't have the choice you have to get better and get older.

You do have to draw the line between you and them as lm48 suggests and count your own blessings.

[LouiseAndy]

@IM48 And @Pulisa you're both right, I've acted in a incredibly selfish way. I gave some money to this girls go-fund me account. In the hopes she may find treatment in another country. As she hoping a few other places might offer other treatments.

It was unfair of me and just out-right horrible for me to act or even say something like that. Just worrying about some constant aches, when a few weeks back I was cleared off other issues at hospital- which I'm so lucky for and she didn't get that right.

While I have some pains, that are probably nothing. She's dealing with a real huge issue. I've got to stop thinking about the "what ifs." or the "oh no they missed this". It's totally selfish and wrong. I'm actually sorry if I offended anyone here who read this, I was very selfish in that post.