Mariama
27-07-07, 14:20
Hi everyone,
I just thought I would share a few things.
It has been a very difficult 4 years for me, I should have realised that it was OCD from the beginning, but since there is not much infomation on the religious side it makes it hard! Im sure we all know of the obsessive hand washing, but not much on thoughts.
I am a Muslim and at first suffered from Agoraphobia, I no longer suffer from this to the extent that I did before, however ever since I became Muslim I was obsessed with making sure I am doing the right thing, which is a good thing, however it is only now after a few years of the thoughts getting worse and worse that I am now sure I have what is called scrupulosity. The doubting disease. This is a perfect discription, and I can safely say I have never experienced anything quite so scary in my life.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety and I am pregnant which also makes the anxiety worse. It is strange how it got 10 times worse as soon as I must have become pregnant!!
My main problem is divorce, I became convinced that my husband divorced me Islamically (he didnt and deep down I know he didnt) yet I must keep thinking about it and researching the subject, for if I do not, I feel the hell fire is looming for me.
I must check what all the major scholars say in order to calm me down. I have checked last week, the week before, I phoned a scholar at 5 in the morning!! I checked a month ago, 3 months ago, I have checked today. And the evidence is we are fine, I am not divorced. Simple right??
WRONG!! Not for me, I know it is true, but will my mind accept this? No.
The second problem is HIV, I have become convinced I have infected my baby and my husband, I have had two tests, both negative and still it comes up in my mind, then where will I be when I face my Lord??
I have been put on flouxetine, and this has taken the edge off the worry, but it is still bad. However I finally told my doctor the real problem. and I am now being refurred to see what is wrong but the mental health team.
This is great news, if they take to long I will go private, but I guess this is a start, however I cannot help feeling they should have realised sooner.
My husband is sooo great, he goes through the anxiety with me every morning so that I talk about it instead of bottling things up, we go through the negative thoughts and I tell myself he has not divorced me!! Sounds mad I know!!!
I just wanted to share this story with you, and if anyone else suffers from something similar than please add me to your MSN mariamajjanneh@hotmail.com (females only).
I just thought I would share a few things.
It has been a very difficult 4 years for me, I should have realised that it was OCD from the beginning, but since there is not much infomation on the religious side it makes it hard! Im sure we all know of the obsessive hand washing, but not much on thoughts.
I am a Muslim and at first suffered from Agoraphobia, I no longer suffer from this to the extent that I did before, however ever since I became Muslim I was obsessed with making sure I am doing the right thing, which is a good thing, however it is only now after a few years of the thoughts getting worse and worse that I am now sure I have what is called scrupulosity. The doubting disease. This is a perfect discription, and I can safely say I have never experienced anything quite so scary in my life.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety and I am pregnant which also makes the anxiety worse. It is strange how it got 10 times worse as soon as I must have become pregnant!!
My main problem is divorce, I became convinced that my husband divorced me Islamically (he didnt and deep down I know he didnt) yet I must keep thinking about it and researching the subject, for if I do not, I feel the hell fire is looming for me.
I must check what all the major scholars say in order to calm me down. I have checked last week, the week before, I phoned a scholar at 5 in the morning!! I checked a month ago, 3 months ago, I have checked today. And the evidence is we are fine, I am not divorced. Simple right??
WRONG!! Not for me, I know it is true, but will my mind accept this? No.
The second problem is HIV, I have become convinced I have infected my baby and my husband, I have had two tests, both negative and still it comes up in my mind, then where will I be when I face my Lord??
I have been put on flouxetine, and this has taken the edge off the worry, but it is still bad. However I finally told my doctor the real problem. and I am now being refurred to see what is wrong but the mental health team.
This is great news, if they take to long I will go private, but I guess this is a start, however I cannot help feeling they should have realised sooner.
My husband is sooo great, he goes through the anxiety with me every morning so that I talk about it instead of bottling things up, we go through the negative thoughts and I tell myself he has not divorced me!! Sounds mad I know!!!
I just wanted to share this story with you, and if anyone else suffers from something similar than please add me to your MSN mariamajjanneh@hotmail.com (females only).