Terrified of my mother getting lung cancer.

[Alowen]

My mums 43 and has been a smoker since her teens and no matter how many times she tries to quit she always goes back to smoking. Recently I've been able to get her to the doctor for help quitting and she's started using ecigarettes and nicotine tablets but I'm worried that it's too late. Recently she's had a hoarse voice and experienced a lot of coughing and clearing her throat. Shes also been complained about a sore back recently and even though it could be from her job (lots of lifting) I know it can be a symptom of lung cancer. I'm becoming a mental wreck because of it (getting drunk most nights). Does anyone here have any experience with lung cancer or smoking? Any reply is appreciated. Thank you!

[NervUs]

HOw old are you, Alowen?

I am really sorry that your mom has had such a hard time quitting smoking and that her choices are causing you fears.

I don't have experience with LC, but I went through a terrible time with my lungs about 2 years ago now. I was coughing nonstop, wheezing, getting pains, constant throat clearing and losing my voice, and this was over a very long period of time. I am a never smoker but feared the worst, but it turned out to be asthma. I hope your mom is getting her cough checked, but there are a lot of conditions that can cause those types of symptoms so there is no reason to automatically think the worst since your mom is still pretty young.

I hope she is able to kick the habit for good this time! Try to think positive unless a doctor gives you a reason not to, and it doesn't sound like you have any reason to worry right now.

[Alowen]

Thanks for replying. I really hope it's nothing but every day just feels like a waking nightmare and everytime I go to sleep I always have terrifying dreams about mum in hospital. My grandmother died the same way too but she died when I was only little so I never really got to meet her.

I'm 18 by the way. (Only need to be 18 in most of Australia before you can buy drinks.)

[Cptdebbie]

Hi Alowen, I have experience with lung cancer. My husband, who just turned 61, has Stage 4 lung cancer. He has never smoked a cigarette in his entire life.

I’m not sure what you want to know exactly, but my husband’s symptoms weren’t like what your mother is experiencing. He just started having days where he was super tired and sick, not unlike what I feel with anxiety. It wasn’t normal for him to feel like that though. It took almost three months to find out what was wrong. The cancer had spread throughout his whole body, even into his brain. My husband’s father, who did smoke, also had lung cancer. His was caught earlier, though, and the docs just cut it out.

There have been a number of huge leaps in the treatment of lung cancer. For example, my husband’s cancer has a genetic mutation in it. This means he has been able to be treated with a targeted chemotherapy. He just takes a pill everyday with relatively few side effects. My husband’s oncologist told us that this kind of lung cancer is not curable but it is treatable. He told us initially that he expected my husband to live a long life. Unfortunately, three of my husband’s brain tumors are not responding to the chemotherapy. The cancer is pretty much gone everywhere else. The docs at our local cancer hospital used radiosurgery to kill the biggest tumor. My husband has another brain scan in August to see how things are.

The key is early detection. If my husband’s cancer had been discovered before it spread to his brain, he’d most certainly have years, maybe even decades to live. Can you talk to your mother about your fears? She might be willing to at least have a chest x-ray. That might ease your worries.

And Alowen, please go to therapy or something instead of drinking every night. One of my sisters died young from alcohol abuse. There are so many things alcohol does to your body that are not well known. My sister’s brain had actually shrunk and her bones were super soft. She fell and the surgeon couldn’t get a pin to stay in to fix her broken arm. As a mother, I’d go get a medical test if one of my children were that worried about me. I’d be so upset, though, to find out my beautiful child was drinking every night because of worry over me.

Be strong. Fight for your own well being as well as your Mother’s.

[Gary A]

As an ex smoker who still on occasion feels like ripping someone’s head off due to the cravings, I can attest to how difficult it is to quit. The main thing is to keep encouraging her to quit. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to do it without the support of the people around me. I tried tablets, patches, mist sprays etc, all to no avail. Eventually I just got sick of the gimmicks and just decided to do it through willlpower.

It’s not easy, but what should encourage you is that after 5 years of smoking abstenance the lungs will start to reverse the damage done. Your mother is still relatively young, so all is not lost.

[Alowen]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I've been trying to keep positive and help my mom through this but I feel more like a nuisance than actual support when I start having a panic attack. It makes mum feel worse and become more stressed. She said she's going to visit a doc to do a cancer check and it cant come soon enough but I'm terrified of the chance that she could be diagnosed with cancer when she goes for it.