View Full Version : Help!! Having anxiety issues from thoughts about existence and death
I keep having persistent thoughts and feelings about existence and death. I feel distress depression and anxiety from every waking moment nothing feels settled or good it's always a sense of despair a foreboding sense of dread. I feel like I'm going insane, I think about the present moment intensely, constantly refreshing a moment or someone I had company with 15 mins or over hours and days as if I'd like to experience them over and over again. Nothing feels right or enjoyable thinking these obsessive intrusive thoughts I don't want to think about them anymore nothing feels good please help, every moment feels like some weird painful dread.
HelloPanda23
25-06-18, 03:09
I keep having persistent thoughts and feelings about existence and death. I feel distress depression and anxiety from every waking moment nothing feels settled or good it's always a sense of despair a foreboding sense of dread. I feel like I'm going insane, I think about the present moment intensely, constantly refreshing a moment or someone I had company with 15 mins or over hours and days as if I'd like to experience them over and over again. Nothing feels right or enjoyable thinking these obsessive intrusive thoughts I don't want to think about them anymore nothing feels good please help, every moment feels like some weird painful dread.
Please explain more clearly as to what’s causing you so much distress? If you think about death, then yes, you will feel depressed. That’s the whole reason behind why many of us are here, but I really don’t know what you mean about existence. Either way, whatever it is you’re going through, please distract yourself through things you previously enjoyed, and clarify as to what you mean by existence. Maybe then you can get more relief by others on here.
Thank you for responding, I'm trying to explain it, existence as being alive, existing in the present moment it's like I can't shake this weird depressing feeling off of myself, it's like I'm trying to understand being alive in the moment right now, only I feel really distressed about it alot of anxiety. It's like I'm trying to understand existing and the time passing from it only to feel really distressed and depressed about every second that passes. I really don't like feeling this way I just want to accept it and feel good as I was before this. The death part, I keep projecting what the future will be (mother dying, and what not and my own death) and I feel like there's no point in living, however I kinda shook that but it still bothers me.
I think I understand what you're going through. Or maybe something similar. I remember I used to get stuck in these loops of existential thoughts and dread, usually while trying to fall asleep. It's going to be okay, though! Just take a deep breath and, like the other poster mentioned, try to distract yourself so you can break out of these thoughts. Find something you like to do and focus entirely on that for a while. TV or games usually help more for me since they can drown out my inner thoughts better. Or you could try reading and saying the words out loud to yourself as you do. Something simple like that maybe.
Anxiousamyj
25-06-18, 03:47
I think you’ve hit on the root cause of many peoples HA. It’s at the core of many anxiety/depressive disorders. It’s something we all have to face at some point and it’s best to try and distract yourself and find meaningful activities and relationships. It seems to be the biggest curse of our large prefrontal cortex. Sometimes I look at my dogs and am jealous because they just have no idea and are happy.
I'm trying that, it works to an degree but it comes back a little bit while I distract myself and after I do like when I try to sleep or during an off moment when I may not be able to distract myself. Is there anything else I can do to alleviate these things?
I know it's such a standard kind of reply but you could maybe try relaxation techniques and see if those help? Personally I've been trying some breathing exercises that have been helping me a lot more than I thought they would. Maybe you could give those a shot and see if they work for you at all?
What causes this to happen to people? Surely I/we aren't the only ones? Been doing breathing excercises ( breath in through nose hold breath release through mouth sometimes slowly) they help somewhat, the only time this doesn't bother me is when I'm asleep. Does it ever go away for good? How long does it take usually?
Have you spoken to a doctor or health professional about this, or ever tried medication?
I take Welbutrin 150mg and started taking samples of Rexulti 1mg I think over 2 months now. I have Depression, Autism and Anxiety disorders. I feel like the Rexulti might be making me more obsessed with things bringing me more distress about situations. I started with having anxiety and being depressed about some ssi forms I had to fill out and my living situation and after I got some control over those thoughts of death bothered me and now this is bothering me and I'm trying to ignore it but its an really persistent thought I almost wish I could cause myself to lose some memory or get electric shock therapy just to forget about it. I haven't spoken to my therapist yet about this I have to wait to see her, till Thursday but I have very little faith that she will actually help me with this because she thinks everything can be solved with cognitive appraisals and it doesn't work for everything. If I could rephrase this I would have already done it but I really don't know how to handle this to make it go away.
Mindprison
25-06-18, 19:47
If you haven't tried cognitive behavioral therapy yet then i would recommend doing so.
Your thoughts are being allowed to run away with you in an endless cycle. CBT will help you break the cycle of your existential and death thoughts.
It's common especially in health anxiety cases. Relaxation and medication can help temporarily but you need something like CBT to break the cycle and to train your mind not to get itself into patterns like this. Mindfulness can also be useful in that regard.
The tragic truth is that someday we ALL will die. There is no escaping it and there is no way for us to know when it will happen. The odds of it happening at a young age? Not high. All we can do is accept that one day our life will be over, make the most of the time you do have as there is no point in worrying about the inevitable.
I also wouldn't worry about what happens after death as there is absolutely no way of knowing. Thats not something we need to worry.
Try CBT and try mindfulness, get your mind trained to focus on the here and now, that's what's important.
You can't change the past and the future always has a degree of uncertainness, but you can make a difference to your future by being mindful and acting in the present.
Sorry to get philosophical, but I hope this helps put your mind at ease even a little.
Good luck.
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Read your latest reply. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? There are tons of depression and anxiety meds out there, it's about finding the right one for you. It's true that CBT doesn't work for everyone and it's hard work. You get out what you put in so to speak but it can be hard to commit when you're unable to concentrate or are too depressed.
If you've been on wellbutrin for a while and you're not feeling the benefits then ask your doctor if you can try something else. Alternatively you can try seeing a psychiatrist to see what they suggest.
Exiatential thoughts and death fears are a hard thing to shake but like any mental illness it isn't uncurable. You'll find something that works.
I am seeing an psychiatrist, I do know the tragic truth and understand it, I just don't want the thought to consume me on an daily minute to minute basis, it's like my mind can't leave it alone like it can't leave the thought of living/existence at this second to second basis alone and just accept it all and stop trying to understand it or truly to feel what it is just let it be. I don't know how anyone could use CBT to turn this around or escape this to make it all better or as things were before my mind got so fixated on it.
I think as we get older and move through life, the reality of life slowly dawns on us. This happens at different stages for different people, and never does come to some people.
We realise, we fight it emotionally, and then the rest is acceptance which can take a long time and can be a bittersweet peacefulness.
I'd rather it never come to me, if not forget entirely may it never return there is no point (well for some it can be a bad wake-up call) to it, but how long? Hopefully not too long. Have you gone through this?
I've been looking on the internet but that might be hazardous because I've been reading about Exiatential thoughts and depersonlizaton DR/DP and I stopped myself from looking into it more because it will just open the wound wider. I keep worrying about my own life and existence, the future. I keep thinking about every second of my life and wanting to experience the past over and over again, I want to just leave it and be satisfied with it, everything feels surreal like I can't believe I'm here and it scares me that I am, I have this deep clenching feeling in my chest my heart is beating fast I'm in fear of every moment. The people that has helped so far thank you very much, I don't know what answer I need or what answer I'm looking for I just want this to go away for good forever I don't want to experience this or make it worse than what it is Id rather take the blue pill please help me.
You sound as if you're really having a rough time, Perhaps some real life help in in order? There is free help available... check this out.
(https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help)
Positive thoughts
Thank you, I really don't know how to apply CBT to this situation I'm going thru, I almost feel like abusing alcohol just to get rid of these thoughts. I've been taught CBT before, I'll give it another try in learning it again but I'm really not sure if you can apply it to this situation. I'll try the suicide hotline out of what you gave me that seems like the best bet.
UPDATE: Well, the suicide hotline in my area is stupid, they don't even get it at all, as I thought would have happened . People on here have been more helpful, I'm just looking for more helpful information, I don't want anyone to think I'm ungrateful or anything for what they have given me, maybe if I can get to an hotline outside of my area that's much better than what I got. Otherwise I have to try to help myself again, but I do so alot because of not having professionals who understand the different things I disscus to them. I do have professional help just not what I need it seems and that's hard to get. That's why I came on here as somewhat as a last resort to hopefully find someone or people who can understand me, this issue in itself is hard to explain.
deejayjewels
26-06-18, 10:40
I'd like to think I understand. I've had mortailty obsessions/death panics since I was little. It would keep me up all hours of the night, and it was common to cry myself to sleep over it until I was like 15-16. And no one does seem to understand. "Well, what are you afraid of?" It was hard to explain I was terrified of both existing forever and ceasing to exist, so religion couldn't help lol. And no one seemed to get it.
It mostly went away after I moved out and lived a little. But ever since I've had my son.... I it's been rearing it's ugly head again. I don't have much in the way of advice, but did want to tell you you're not alone. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
I used to have those thoughts when I was about 18. Ten years ago. The way I'm relating to this is just the thought of existing. Like what's the point right? We do all these things and in the end we all end up the same with some pain inbetween. Also the feeling of being very disconnected like you're going through the motions but .. "for what"? I remember just staring out a window and watching the cars go by and literally my mind was like why? And what's really after this? Is it just black or it can't even be black if it was nothing... that's how my brain was working. The best advise I got was to push those thoughts away. Once they start you continue thinking. Thinking takes you further into depressive thoughts. Takes you to places you don't understand which then can lead to the disconnection from yourself. Again best thing to do is just push it to the back of your head and think of anything else. Bills, family, that annoying song, what you want oR wanted to do with your life... ANYTHING ELSE. And as much as you may not want to. Keep busy. Someone asks you to do something go out and do it. Keep them close whether they know what youre going through or not they will be a big part of helping. But how do you distract yourself if you feel no meaning and just lost... I can't tell you exactly how I overcame it but I did. Every once and awhile it creeps back in. But I push them thought out right away and go on with myself. You'll get through this. Good luck and I hope I understood you and maybe helped a bit.
Thank you Both for telling me your story. I'm thinking that my anxiety about a previous problem is attacking me this way because maybe some how it wasn't resolved properly. My previous problem was accepting my present situation so that it doesn't have me feeling miserable all the time. I was listening to an life coach on YouTube and thought I resolved that issue, that's when this problem arose. Was my anxiety not properly dealt with? Is this an escalation of my anxiety to DR/DP levels? I wish I could just erase my memory of this past weekend till now so I can forget this.
I've been having issues still, been trying to follow videos like this https://youtu.be/62DXYSv8owQ to help me out. I haven't gotten an grasp on a plan that will help me get rid of this for good I don't want to experience it ever again, I'm afraid I'll never get back how I felt before hand just trying to keep my head up about it.
Daniel Nugraha
30-06-18, 05:14
Hi there , i did have some existential thoughts too tho it didn't make me anxious and depressed. The thing is everyone goes to different thinking approach to get the issue. Maybe it would be helpful to write down what do you think and what you fear too :D so we could probably fundamentally tackle down the problem by knowing what's truly cause your anxiety.
By the way , as what some people here already said that practicing breathing method
( Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, hold it deeply in your lungs for 6, and breathe out through your mouth for 8, breathing out tension as you do so and feeling your body relax. -psychologytoday.com )and distracting yourself from negative thoughts , sure are helpful.
But distracting yourself from negative thoughts cognitively not necessarily helpful ( since some personality traits more prone to anxiety and stress ) you need to do some exercise , doing physical workout not only gonna force your body to move/act but also your mind will also have to focus. Research show exercise help to produce dopamine and good for brain health too. Sometimes the best way to fight anxiety is not to fight it , in other words , try to just ignore it. By the way i have anxiety too about dizziness but it gets better overtime ( i mean my anxiety & dizziness )
You also need to reduce caffeine , alcohols intake if you consume it regularly. I hope you get well soon ! feel free to ask more ! we're here to help each other
I have had this problem for a while, never been able to feel "normal" after my first panic attack about death and existence. I see life and everything I do as pointless, memories, accomplishments, etc won't matter when I'm dead. I even see people who take photos/videos of things they do as pointless now, not going to remember it when your dead. Sometimes I hope I die in car accident before I get old, hopefully it would be fast and I wont have time to see it coming. I do not want to get old, waiting to die. I can't even stand seeing or being around old people, it is depressing. Being around young people also depresses me, I wish I could be young again.
Now that I'm 30, time seems to be flying by faster and faster, it is making my anxiety worse. Nothing helps, meds, breathing exercises and distractions do nothing for me. I wish I could help but feel this type of anxiety is hard to control becuase it is not worrying about something that is blown out of proportion. It is not like health anxiety and we worry over every little feeling in our bodies and come up with irrational thoughts about what is wrong. Death is something that will happen.
I wish there was an easy answer to this, I don't understand how others can go through life and not panic about their death. I think the correct term is existinal depression and from what I read, it is not easy to treat. Hope I made sense, my anxiety is high and I sometimes ramble and not make sense.
Hi there , i did have some existential thoughts too tho it didn't make me anxious and depressed. The thing is everyone goes to different thinking approach to get the issue. Maybe it would be helpful to write down what do you think and what you fear too :D so we could probably fundamentally tackle down the problem by knowing what's truly cause your anxiety.
By the way , as what some people here already said that practicing breathing method
( Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, hold it deeply in your lungs for 6, and breathe out through your mouth for 8, breathing out tension as you do so and feeling your body relax. -psychologytoday.com )and distracting yourself from negative thoughts , sure are helpful.
But distracting yourself from negative thoughts cognitively not necessarily helpful ( since some personality traits more prone to anxiety and stress ) you need to do some exercise , doing physical workout not only gonna force your body to move/act but also your mind will also have to focus. Research show exercise help to produce dopamine and good for brain health too. Sometimes the best way to fight anxiety is not to fight it , in other words , try to just ignore it. By the way i have anxiety too about dizziness but it gets better overtime ( i mean my anxiety & dizziness )
You also need to reduce caffeine , alcohols intake if you consume it regularly. I hope you get well soon ! feel free to ask more ! we're here to help each other
I keep thinking about the past and how much time I have left to live and about my mother passing away in the future and how she's pretty much the only person who I have as an best friend of sorts and it scares me that after she goes I won't have anyone I connect with that closely and it depressing. I also keep thinking about my own existence and wanting to experience things that I have done earlier in the day and in the past and It depresses me I have strange sensations in my throat and my chest is pounding I don't have enough drive or energy to do stuff during the day even things I want it's hard to to and enjoy them. I also keep thinking about death and my own conscience and what will happen to it after death.
I keep thinking about these things that I don't want to think about anymore, they aren't helpful to me I want to forget them even if I have to have something done to me to forget the last 2 weeks of my life. I know death is inevitable and I always have known that I just don't want to have it on my mind everyday I hardly thought about it before, never had my conscience and own existence bother me to the point it disrupts my life till now and I'm tired of it. I was exercising before but I hardly move from my bed much now even to go downstairs to eat. I don't want to be this way forever I want to be normal again where these thoughts don't bother me every day, every minute.
Daniel Nugraha
03-07-18, 06:30
I keep thinking about the past and how much time I have left to live and about my mother passing away in the future and how she's pretty much the only person who I have as an best friend of sorts and it scares me that after she goes I won't have anyone I connect with that closely and it depressing. I also keep thinking about my own existence and wanting to experience things that I have done earlier in the day and in the past and It depresses me I have strange sensations in my throat and my chest is pounding I don't have enough drive or energy to do stuff during the day even things I want it's hard to to and enjoy them. I also keep thinking about death and my own conscience and what will happen to it after death.
I keep thinking about these things that I don't want to think about anymore, they aren't helpful to me I want to forget them even if I have to have something done to me to forget the last 2 weeks of my life. I know death is inevitable and I always have known that I just don't want to have it on my mind everyday I hardly thought about it before, never had my conscience and own existence bother me to the point it disrupts my life till now and I'm tired of it. I was exercising before but I hardly move from my bed much now even to go downstairs to eat. I don't want to be this way forever I want to be normal again where these thoughts don't bother me every day, every minute.
Hi sorry been a while hmm...do you find counseling helpful ? If ur mom pretty much the only person u close with then i think it's necessary for u to find a good friend who is caring and that's not easy but join community might help.
Me too i miss my childhood stuff like my good relationship with my cousin , precious times that un repeatable and will always remain as memory perhaps for eternity. Progressivity aspect of time makes it also inevitable for us to avoid things like loss and death as if we're falling into deep dark abyss of uncertainty , we can do nothing but to let go , learn and live our life to the fullest. The limit of our time to live make life too precious to be wasted with fears. If one day we will be gone and disappear like we never exist , at least try to find some kind of goal in life / purpose and work hard to fulfill it.
I like to think that life is just a game , where i play a role as this character named " Daniel " and ever since i was born i keep on learning my character and what's the best possible way to improve this character to manifest my ability into art that are beneficial for society , to me relationship with family we were born in is to help us understand who we are and what we ought to do. I believe that outside the circle of relationship there's higher order which is purpose even tho relationship is the closest thing to us but relationship also function like a tool to help us achieve our dream.
We need to stop thinking and saying things that make us weaker. We need to evolve and adapt to be stronger ! The reason why u don"t have much energy like you were is because u get anxiety and depressed , when i was anxious bout my health issue i too easily get tired
You can tell me if this doesn't help. I'll try harder to help. Im sorry for my bad english ( not native speaker ). Death is mysterious , you can think of it either way , bad or good , we don't know , so it's pointless and u need to know that you're not alone ,everryone will die but not everyone live a bad terrible life , so please don't make yours be so.
I haven't found my therapist helpful yet, I don't think she understands. I'm not sure if it's going away or not life feels surreal being alive feels strange and because it does it's distressing I have a hard time doing much of anything, I keep thinking about my own existence and the passing of time and it's bothering me constantly. I feel confused and scared terrified. I only feel normal when I sleep it seems. I wish I could have my memory erased from 3 weeks ago so none of this is in my head, it's starting to feel like death is my only escape but I'm scared of that. Thank you for your reply, giving me good ideas I'm trying to make it work.
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