Can't "ride it out"

[DustingMyselfOff]

I've been dealing with panic attacks for decades now, sometimes I suffer constantly and chronically, other times they let up for a few years, depending on the medication I'm on. Lately they're starting to rear their ugly heads again. I'm trying to take a calm, practical approach and tell myself "this too shall pass" and am trying not to let this turn into anticipatory anxiety, but I'm also analyzing it to death to figure out why it's happening right now so I can avoid it in the future (what a dreamer).

What I really want to know is if this part of the panic attack is something we all deal with or is it just me? When I'm having one, I need to GET UP AND MOVE AWAY! They almost always happen when someone is talking to me and when it starts to escalate there's no stopping it..... I can no longer focus on what they're saying and all I can think about is an excuse to get up and step away for a minute. I guess I take the fight or flight part of it literally.... I need to get up and move myself away to stop the spiraling out of control.

So how does one calmly "ride one out" if their mind and body is screaming at them to get up and run? Any suggestions or hints?

Thanks for being here... misery loves company.
Sue

[ankietyjoe]

You don't have to be calm, you don't have to feel calm, you just have to react calmly.

I used to say 'oh shit oh shit oh shit.....', or I would say 'I can't take this any more'. All the usual things most of us think or say at some point. I learned that that kind of language just feeds the idea that something bad is happening, or something worse is going to happen. It was a reaction of panic.

Actively slow your breathing down, take deep breaths. Anxiety works like a feedback loop. If you do your best to calm your body down, your mind will follow. Even if that means walking around, you can still do that mindfully and with controlled breathing.

Personally I don't see any value in analysing anxiety. There comes a point where anxiety is it's own trigger, and analysing that serves no real purpose. What do you do if you find the trigger? Does the anxiety go away? Probably not. Even if it does, it will find another trigger to work it's way out from eventually anyway. The key, is how we react to it. We don't have to FEEL calm to react calmy, and that's the subconscious reaction our brains learn to accept over time.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thanks, Joe. Great advice and I will try to take deep, slow breaths next time I feel one spiraling out of control, but my mind and body have been conditioned to get up and run away when they happen so it's going to take some re-training. And forcing myself to stay put adds to the anxiety as now I've got the added pressure of "No, you can't go walk this off.... you have to stay put and try to look "normal", engaged and be interactive in this conversation that's going on.

It's also great advice to stop giving them more life by analyzing why they happened, and before I read your post I actually found myself saying "Who cares why - they've been happening all your life, they will continue to happen all your life, and there's no sense in wasting more time on them than they deserve." BUT.... there's also the part of me that believes if I can find what caused it I can prevent it in the future, as I have with a lot of my health issues. In this case, I think I have it pinpointed to the MCT oil powder I ingested this morning. It gives your brain fuel and energy and apparently my brain doesn't NEED more energy - I may have just ramped it right into a panic attack.

I had one last Thursday, too, and am trying to remember if I had used MCT oil that morning. And when I'm done thinking about that, I will let this go. Thanks for replying and for the helpful thoughts.
Sue

[ankietyjoe]

My own experiences and experiments (and it took me over five years to almost entirely beat panic attacks) made me understand that triggers can come from anywhere and everywhere, they can be physical or mental.

I learned that you cannot separate your mind and body. If you're stressed, you will have physical symptoms. If you have a physical symptom you will become stressed and anxious.

One of my biggest triggers was physical exercise after being taken to hospital in an ambulance with uncontrollable tachycardia (over 120bpm for a few days). At the time I didn't realise how much stress I was under (huge), and I'd just got over pneumonia and went back to work too soon. This of course caused the tachycardia, but the seed was put in my mind.....exercise = hospital. Very, very soon after that I barely moved at all during the day. I rarely walked more than 50 metres away from a 'safe' place (home, car etc).

Anyway, it took me nearly 5 years to figure out what was going on after that, and then I just spent 6 months slowly conditioning my mind to be ok with a raised heart rate after exercise. I now work out every day and regularly push my heart rate over 150bpm. The point of this little anecdote though is to illustrate that it can take months and months to rewire your brain out of learned reactions. I couldn't just say to myself 'you'll be fine' and it be fine. I had to say 'you'll be fine' and then put myself in the situation where I felt like I wasn't.....over and over again. That is the key, and the basis of most CBT practice too.

It ain't easy of course, but the idea that the cure is within you was quite comforting to me, even on days where I really, really didn't feel fine and felt like I just couldn't calm down.

I truly believe that the vast majority of anxiety and panic disorders is just a learned response. It's not just something that people have to put up with.

Oh, and I drastically changed my diet too. Sugar, gluten, processed foods all put stress on the body....which in turn......you see where I'm going. I haven't got fanatical about it, just reduced my 'crap' intake by about 90%.

[DustingMyselfOff]

You're absolutely right that even though a permanent "cure" to anxiety isn't within our own control, managing and reducing it IS in our control. I truly believe my doctors that my case is some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain, especially since these started when I was 6 years old, along with tics, twitches, and symptoms of Tourette's. Ahhhh, acceptance.... such a key to relief and yet so hard for me to obtain, but I'll never stop trying.

I've been eating a ketogenic way of life for about 6 months now, thus the MCT oil in my coffee. No carbs, no sugar, no gluten, no processed foods. I started that for my colitis but think it helps my mood, too. And not having blood sugar crashes anymore is WONDERFUL.

Five years to free yourself - wow - very impressive (and I'm jealous!) But you're an inspiration, so tell me how to stop having panic attacks on the highway? LOL I know, there's a whole separate thread/chapter on that, and those increase and decrease depending on what the rest of my body is doing. And since I have no Thyroid, my TSH levels are always on a rollercoaster. I do have my share of physical challenges, but it could be a LOT worse.
Sue

[ankietyjoe]

You're absolutely right that even though a permanent "cure" to anxiety isn't within our own control, managing and reducing it IS in our control. I truly believe my doctors that my case is some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain, especially since these started when I was 6 years old, along with tics, twitches, and symptoms of Tourette's. Ahhhh, acceptance.... such a key to relief and yet so hard for me to obtain, but I'll never stop trying.

I've been eating a ketogenic way of life for about 6 months now, thus the MCT oil in my coffee. No carbs, no sugar, no gluten, no processed foods. I started that for my colitis but think it helps my mood, too. And not having blood sugar crashes anymore is WONDERFUL.

Five years to free yourself - wow - very impressive (and I'm jealous!) But you're an inspiration, so tell me how to stop having panic attacks on the highway? LOL I know, there's a whole separate thread/chapter on that, and those increase and decrease depending on what the rest of my body is doing. And since I have no Thyroid, my TSH levels are always on a rollercoaster. I do have my share of physical challenges, but it could be a LOT worse.
Sue

Well first things first, I'm guessing the thyroid issue is going to cause many different kinds of physical reactions/stimuli. If you suffer with anxiety, any of those could potentially cause an anxiety reaction.

Panic attacks on the highway is how it started with me, I was stuck in traffic about 15 years ago and just 'knew' I had to get out. Massive rush of adrenaline and I had to pull over. Again, at the time I was dealing with a lot of stress, which went unnoticed. But I don't think motorway (highway) panic is different than any other. It's just one of those situations where you feel trapped, like being in a lift, meeting or aeroplane. The situation isn't that relevant, it's (once again) the reaction. The way I used to combat it was just driving on the inside lane so I could pull over if I really needed to, and just get on with it. It sounds flippant using the phrase 'just get on with it', but I kinda knew that's how it used to be. If I avoided driving the car, the anxiety would invariably find it's way in another way anyway, so I might as well just get on with it.

My son started displaying some signs of anxiety at around 6 years old as well, although I knew it was because 6 years old are pushed WAY too hard at school in the UK these days. He was being given 1-2 hours homework every day, so I just put a stop to it and told the school I would decide when and how much homework he did. After introducing him to some meditative ways of thinking before bed, he soon stopped having those reactions. I wonder if there was a specific trigger that started yours off when you were young, and that it's just something that you learned was just a way things were over the years? Just speculating, I have no real insight into Tourette's, twitching, causes and treatments etc.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Not a real loving, warm, caring, supportive childhood.... was made to feel pretty much unwanted and like a burden, and when the facial tics started I would get screamed at to "STOP IT - someone will think you're crazy and lock you in a nut house!"

Thanks, Mom. :(
Sue

[ankietyjoe]

Not a real loving, warm, caring, supportive childhood.... was made to feel pretty much unwanted and like a burden, and when the facial tics started I would get screamed at to "STOP IT - someone will think you're crazy and lock you in a nut house!"

Thanks, Mom. :(
Sue

Bingo.

Really sorry to hear that.

If nobody taught you to feel safe, it seems inevitable that you'd find it difficult to find it yourself in later life.

What a child needs more than anything is to feel safe and loved. It's a fundamental human need.

I wonder if some kind of talk therapy would help you get some kind of closure on that part of your life and allow you to move on and heal? I'm not a massive fan of talk therapy for most non specific problems, but when the problem is deeply rooted in something from childhood, I think it's often harder to unroot.

Unroot isn't even a word.....:whistles:

I'm no therapist, but I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with you, I just don't think you were allowed to develop the confidence you need.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thanks for the compassion and suggestions. I've seen many, many talk therapists over the decades, have pretty much let go of the anger and resentment, and have learned to love myself. Unfortunately, the panic attacks, albeit not frequenty anymore, still exist. Childhood? TSH? Colitis meds? Perhaps all of the above.

I will work on acceptance. This is my life, only I can choose to make the best of it or dwell on the challenges.
Sue

[JasonB2]

First of all you just need to take more time then other (maybe driven) people.
You deserve it.
Don't try to 'endgain'.
There is no 'endgain' in life :D

Just see how far you come. Like in an experiment. Don't try to force anything.
Improvements will come for you.

Love yourself completely everyday.
Small improvements are still improvements.
And improvements WILL come if you keep self-loving :D

It might be that you are all very special people (and it might be in a very hope-giving way)
I had similiar problems and all are gone now and it never even was my own fault :D
Take your time.
You have aaaaaaaaalll the time.
Your body will NEVER act against you.
Never believe any nonsense.
Keep a good diet and enough sleep.
If you can't sleep just chill in the bed, you will still get rejuvenation :D
And also relax 3 or 4 times or however often during the daytime, if it's calming you down.

Let no one say how you should live your life. Don't try to be sheepy, like other schmocks :D

I found solutions for all my 'fears' and 'panic attacks' on this homepage.
clarity-of-being.org
Might be challenging, but these answers are truly self empowering and not just playing around :D
And you will be one of the VERY few people that got to deeper understadning of all this
All the best

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thanks for the nice post, and the web address.... will check it out now.
Sue