Completely Overwhelmed

[GiantMogwai]

Living where I am makes me feel like I'm in a torture chamber at times. So much noise. Highstreet getting busier and busier. I have screaming panic attacks when i get overwhelmed. Taking a taxi to work for next couple of weeks as afraid to walk on my high street it is so busy. Local Council and MP not bothered as needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Currently stuck at home unable to go out and kids party a few blocks away is blaring out music that is literally tearing through me as i type. Feel like curling up in ball and screaming. My brain feels like it is literally vibrating whenever i hear certain noises. World seems to have gone mad. I get on train and people are playing their tinny phones out loud - action movies, conversations, SOAPs, music, football matches. I got earplugs but nothing drowns out the noise. Why won't they all just shut up. Feel like my sanity is going. Everyone else in my area seems to be unbothered about the world or bothered but not disintegrating like me. Sure I didn't have screaming panic attacks before medication. Won't touch medication now. So unfit but afraid to go out and exercise. Too overwhelming. So hot. So stressed. Want everyone else to be happy, just want them to leave me alone, but am afraid I will lose job and family. To adequately assess me feels like i need 7 hours but NHS only ever gives me what is economical. An hour and a half after an 8 month wait without covering most of the ground so how can you ever give a diagnosis like that. I lose faith in the NHS, in the system, in people, some people, but others are so good to me and kind. Am in such torment and feel like I am losing all hope. Have had CBT and counselling many times. Feel like I need CBT permanently. Is there another planet out there that needs colonising? Sign me up! Just how it feels but I love my family too much. Aaaargh. What a headache.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya GiantMogwai and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Scass]

Hello & welcome.
Sounds quite busy in your head at the moment! I hate that feeling when you just need some quiet so you can think! Did you get CBT through the nhs? I got free talking therapy and also access to silver cloud.
How do you like to relax normally?


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[GiantMogwai]

Hi Scass, yeh i got CBT through the NHS a number of times and referrals for OCD and Autism.

I just don't live in a quiet place Scass, and if i did i'd probably still feel overwhelmed.

Peace and quiet, a lot of sleep, a bit of exercise. A comedy on TV. That usually helps. Some so so Fantasy movie like Warcraft cheers me up.

But i go to the local park and just the sound of dog chains behind me can drive me to tears, and there is so much noise in this big city, and it has gotten a lot worse.

If i move out to the country I can't handle driving or the crowded nature of public transport to get into work. Both give me panic attacks.

My area is getting more and more packed with people. The park used to be this wide green space. Nowadays it's like a set of personal BBQ allotments with little space for anything else.

I'm trying to get an understanding of what i've got to properly tackle it. I reckon the next few months are crunch time.

Taking a taxi to work feels ridiculous. The train station is so close and work lets me travel off peak.

Even out in the country people taking the same path as me freaks me out. I'm now looking for crappy little local parks that are run down and nobody wants to go to.

My most peaceful moment in the last year was walking through a giant dark tunnel. It was really cool and dark and there was a graffiti artist doing some work. I need to go and live in a large cold dark tunnel. Haha.

[Squizzell]

Hey there I can totally empathise with the panick attacks and a busy environment does not help one bit. I have panic disorder I was having panick attacks about 4-5 a day and calling an ambulance became my only comfort at the time it’s not for everyone but I have found the meds I’m on have been very helpful I am also having counselling and CBT , I hope you get some resoloution x

[GiantMogwai]

Thanks Squizzell. You on SSRIs?