Every day is a struggle

[Ronstar666]

I have had gad and panic attacks and depressio for most of my life but it got worse the past 8 years since loosing my mum and leaving a domestic violence relationship. I have tried several different medication for anxiety and my depression but none have helped before going to the drs for help i would cope by using drugs or acohol but for the past 5 years haven't touched any of these
I have spent the past 5 years struggling with my mental health and some days I can't see the point of fighting any more (would never do anything as I have my kids to think about) but the more time goes by the worse I have got in myself I used to be the life and soul of the party and now I can't even leave the house my so called friends don't understand me or don't want to even try . All I want is to have a life again instead of struggling everyday :huh:

[ana]

You have had some big stresses in your life and it only makes sense that your anxiety has got worse as a consequence. Believe me, I know what it's like to struggle every day; I know what it's like to feel trapped in your own 4 walls, or even better, in your own head.
There is no quick fix, there is no magic pill to make it all go, there isn't a single piece of advice anyone can give you, but there is something I've learnt in the past 17 years of dealing with anxiety and it's this: you are in control.

You are perfectly capable of leaving the house, spending time with friends. You are in the way of yourself, so remove that obstacle by doing things. You have to keep doing things over and over again until you've reclaimed your life. :)

[GiantMogwai]

Hi Ronstar, have you tried CBT?

[CuteyMcpretty]

Hi
Sorry to hear of your struggles. Have you heard of the Anxiety guy on youtube?
Not sure if it will be of any interest to you, but i’m finding his videos really helpful with lots of good advice.

[Ronstar666]

GiantMogwai yes I have tried cbt and was told my anxiety is far too advance for this type of therapy so.am currently waiting on dbt

---------- Post added at 19:52 ---------- Previous post was at 19:50 ----------

ana I have tried different ways of trying to get out and about and I end up paying for it for several days after I just feel like I am stuck in a bit of a rut at the minute and I am not really getting any help.from my mental health team as I moved and am waiting on paper work to be transferred over and also am coming off medication due to massive weight gain which is hard to do without support

[GiantMogwai]

Have been lucky with CBT but has often been 2 steps forward and after a relapse 3 steps back. I've got counselling at the moment which feels slightly useless. DBT looks interesting. Question - in your life what is the smallest thing that would improve things for you?

[Ronstar666]

Probably being able to go out with out feeling like i am suffocating just want to be able to enjoy going out even if it's just a dog walk I used to walk my dog for about 2 hours a time and now I can't even do it for 5 minutes

[GiantMogwai]

Is it your fitness or anxiety that stops you?

Ask someone to drive you to a local quiet park that barely anyone goes to and walk your dog just for 5 or 10 minutes - then drive you back?

[ana]

CBT has never really worked for me, so I understand what you're saying. Some of it, however, is beneficial and useful, like exposing yourself till the situation that scares you becomes bearable. You are going through a tough time at the moment, but keep walking your dog for 5 minutes till you can do it for 7, 10, 15 minutes. Take it one day at a time, but you need to keep trying as you can't get better otherwise. :)

[Ronstar666]

I can't leave the house at the minute due to my agoraphobia and I have tried doing it for 5 minutes and then working my way up just at the moment I am stuck in a bit of a rut and things have got on top of me

[GiantMogwai]

Do you have a garden?

[Ronstar666]

Yes I do have a garden. I suppose i am just finding it hard to be positive when I am feeling so uselless

[GiantMogwai]

Can you manage to go out in the garden?

---------- Post added at 18:17 ---------- Previous post was at 18:12 ----------

Find something in the garden that might interest you.

- Buy a paddling pool, fill it with water, and have a splosh.
- Get some seeds and plant them.
- Take a nap in some shade.
- Play a game of short distance fetch with your dog for a bit.
- Just pop out and have a bit of fresh air - good time of day for it.

Just ideas. :)

---------- Post added at 18:22 ---------- Previous post was at 18:17 ----------

My kid has a thing at school this week that i really want to go to. I'm trying to build up the courage to go to that. My kid had a great weekend just gone and I wasn't there. In the house the whole time. Too afraid to go out.

In that respect I feel a bit useless too, but nobody says you have to be useful all the time. :)

[ana]

Just do it one day at a time. Don't worry if you can't manage it successfully every day. Give yourself a break if you need one, but make sure to keep trying. It's the only way forward. :)

[Ronstar666]

Yeah totally agree but I just feel so rubbish when I can't do it I just want to get better it's been 5years

[GiantMogwai]

Your garden? Can you go out there?

[ana]

It's been 17 years for me. You can't just will yourself into getting better, you have to put the work in. You CAN do it. Only you can. :)

[Ronstar666]

I have been trying but at the moment I am tapering of my meds so feel extremely sick most of the time and because I have moved am waiting on all my paper work to be transferred from my previous mental health worker I am going through all this again with no help or support

[pulisa]

A lot of us on here have no formal help or support though.

[Ronstar666]

Well that wasn't a very helpful.or supportive comment

[pulisa]

I just meant that it's still possible to help yourself without having support from professionals. Sorry if my comment came across in a bad way.

[Ronstar666]

It's ok sorry for being snappy and u have been helping myself for nearly 20 years just struggling at the minute and they keep putting me on meds and taking me off them

[pulisa]

Chopping and changing meds certainly can't be helping you to keep on a relatively even keel. Moving to a new area must be very challenging particularly when you are feeling so ghastly. I do hope that you get allocated someone very soon. Do you have any friends nearby or someone you can talk to?

[Ronstar666]

Not really to be honest they only want to know me on a good day so I have decided don't need those sort of people in my life. And yes hopefully won't be too long before i get some help but all the dr wants to do is put me on more meds and I have alot of reactions to meds

[GiantMogwai]

You watching the football Ronstar?

[Ronstar666]

Sure am are u

[GiantMogwai]

Yes, England match was nail biting, and very much looking forward to quarter finals. Belgium vs Brazil will be exciting. I love Neymar's style but Belgium are looking really strong. For France I rate M'Bappe - something like that - would like to see him in race with Ussain Bolt. Bring on Friday/Saturday! :)