PanicAllDay
02-07-18, 22:51
So this is my first post. I have struggled with health anxiety in the past and got help and seemed to do well for a while. I’ve since had a baby which seemed to intensify my health anxiety.
A couple months ago, a family member was diagnosed with cancer (she is elderly) and the prognosis is not good. One of my biggest defense mechanisms against my fears was not following any news sites, things that most post stories about the C word Etc. Now, all these trigger words are seriously right in my face as this process goes on.
Since we found out, I have Been to the walk in much more often and had like 6 terminal diseases in the last couple months! I know it’s my anxiety - but I cant Stop it.
So about a month ago, I looked In the mirror caught a funky shadow on my neck and saw what looked like a lump down by my collar bone. I made The horrid mistake of googling and immediately determined it was a lymph node and that I probably Have lymphoma. To the walk in I went. Th doctor said that’s not even a node but likely a ridge of muscle, etc etc. I went Home and persisted with the poking and prodding. I’ve never poked and prodded my neck so literally everything felt like a ‘lump’. Anyway, I’ll save you the long version but I’ve now seen four doctors and had an ultrasound that showed all normal size lymph node and no enlargement.
The game is that now I can FEEL them. So i can can’t this fear out of my mind. I’m going insane. Continuing in therapy has been great and I staryed Taking my Lexapro 10mg about 2.5 weeks ago. I upon this forum a couple days ago and felt comfort in knowing I’m not alone in this dark pit
A couple months ago, a family member was diagnosed with cancer (she is elderly) and the prognosis is not good. One of my biggest defense mechanisms against my fears was not following any news sites, things that most post stories about the C word Etc. Now, all these trigger words are seriously right in my face as this process goes on.
Since we found out, I have Been to the walk in much more often and had like 6 terminal diseases in the last couple months! I know it’s my anxiety - but I cant Stop it.
So about a month ago, I looked In the mirror caught a funky shadow on my neck and saw what looked like a lump down by my collar bone. I made The horrid mistake of googling and immediately determined it was a lymph node and that I probably Have lymphoma. To the walk in I went. Th doctor said that’s not even a node but likely a ridge of muscle, etc etc. I went Home and persisted with the poking and prodding. I’ve never poked and prodded my neck so literally everything felt like a ‘lump’. Anyway, I’ll save you the long version but I’ve now seen four doctors and had an ultrasound that showed all normal size lymph node and no enlargement.
The game is that now I can FEEL them. So i can can’t this fear out of my mind. I’m going insane. Continuing in therapy has been great and I staryed Taking my Lexapro 10mg about 2.5 weeks ago. I upon this forum a couple days ago and felt comfort in knowing I’m not alone in this dark pit