Lymph Node Anxiety

[PanicAllDay]

So this is my first post. I have struggled with health anxiety in the past and got help and seemed to do well for a while. I’ve since had a baby which seemed to intensify my health anxiety.

A couple months ago, a family member was diagnosed with cancer (she is elderly) and the prognosis is not good. One of my biggest defense mechanisms against my fears was not following any news sites, things that most post stories about the C word Etc. Now, all these trigger words are seriously right in my face as this process goes on.

Since we found out, I have Been to the walk in much more often and had like 6 terminal diseases in the last couple months! I know it’s my anxiety - but I cant Stop it.

So about a month ago, I looked In the mirror caught a funky shadow on my neck and saw what looked like a lump down by my collar bone. I made The horrid mistake of googling and immediately determined it was a lymph node and that I probably Have lymphoma. To the walk in I went. Th doctor said that’s not even a node but likely a ridge of muscle, etc etc. I went Home and persisted with the poking and prodding. I’ve never poked and prodded my neck so literally everything felt like a ‘lump’. Anyway, I’ll save you the long version but I’ve now seen four doctors and had an ultrasound that showed all normal size lymph node and no enlargement.

The game is that now I can FEEL them. So i can can’t this fear out of my mind. I’m going insane. Continuing in therapy has been great and I staryed Taking my Lexapro 10mg about 2.5 weeks ago. I upon this forum a couple days ago and felt comfort in knowing I’m not alone in this dark pit

[Mindprison]

Hi there

Lymphoma was the fear that started my Health Anxiety again after 8 years of remission. I'm still having serious problems because of it so believe me when I say it's a good idea to get a handle on it now before this goes into the hole that i've found myself in.

There's a sticky at the top of the Health Anxiety part of the forum created by myself explaining all about lymph nodes and why they do what they do. I would have a read at it and see if it resonates with you.

The bottom line is this:

If you go feeling for things in your body, you will find them. Lymph nodes are supposed to be tucked away so you can't mess with them, but push hard enough and you will. Doing this can make them swell, which will cause you more anxiety, then you'll poke and prod them more until they become permanently swollen.

If they're not sticking out of your neck like a tennis ball then you've nothing to worry about. Ultrasound says they're not enlarged so that needs to be the end of it, don't let it go any further than that.