Hi, all having a flare up of my GAD/panic attacks

[Koscha]

Hi All,

Taken me a while to find the courage to join a forum but here goes.

I'm 41, from East Anglia and have had Various anxiety disorders from as early as age 6, chronic depression from 14, and panic disorder on and off from age 24 (I often wonder how i'm still here! :winks: )

Most of the time I can cope with a blend of breathing techniques, guided meditation, self hypnosis & CBT along with obsessive planning and controlling of situations:wacko:

However, Approximately 3 months ago I landed a dream placement (I work in Wildlife conservation/habitat management) & started to plan & pack for it. They (the employer) started heaping courses & inability to escape on my shoulders to the point that on the day i was due to leave I had a massive panic attack that obviously left me traumatised (I'm a real one for panic related trauma).

Anyway, I recovered quickly after I declined the position, so I thought I'd try again. I secured another position about 2 weeks ago and since then I've had worse anxiety/panic related to the memories of the last time. Whats really doing for me Is the lack of control, the fact that I'm having to wait for my new employer to come back off leave and i'm left alone reliving (& living) through hell!

Has anyone got any tips on how to cope? I'm open to any ideas!!

TL; DR- I've hit a brick wall on this occasion with coping strategies; Essentially I'm dealing with anticipatory anxiety liberally spiced with trauma. Any tips?

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Koscha and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Rad1]

Hi Koscha,

It really reminds me of an episode when I was starting out in life, when I got a fantastic job. I was so anxious every morning on the way in, and felt so nauseous and out of control. In the end I kicked that job in after a week :(
It was me giving myself the pressure and nobody else.
I understand what it is like to have enormous panic attacks, and feel so unwell and traumatised that functioning is not easy. I too recovered myself after walking away from it, but it stopped me from trying for other jobs. It is such a shame when one starts to feel scared of a panic attack recurring.

It sounds like you have plenty of tools in the chest to get through attacks. Self hypnosis, guided meditation, etc etc. Practice the meditation 2x a day, and build up your brain control. It is like working out a muscle, prepare yourself. It is easier said than done I know, but I believe that can really help you. I went to a local Yoga centre and did a short meditation course and its wonderful way to calm down and bring hope.

I think you CAN get through, and then you will start to relax into the work which sounds incredibly interesting. Have you got a close friend or family member who can help you come down to earth if you are getting worked up? I find a talk with my sister brings better balance to my thoughts which can go horribly out of control.

And there is the book Feel the Fear and do it anyway, how by pushing through the fear, you can show yourself it will be OK. Beat that fear. I know it is scary, but if you do, you will be happier in life altogether.

One final comment, Beta blockers. They can slow you right down if you are having a panic attack. Maybe have them in your pocket as a backup plan. It used to give me confidence just to have them there. My doctor gave me a prescription.

Incredibly, I busted many of my fears including flying (which I now like), being in business meetings, eating in restaurants etc etc.

You are not the same as that poor little 6 year old boy (I too recall having problems at that age). Be fatherly to yourself and supportive and you will get through it. Keep in touch.
Rad1