SCARYTHOUGHTS
05-07-18, 08:24
Hi guys.
I am suffering from health anxiety thinking that i am infected with hiv for 9 months and counting.
It all started on July to September of 2017.
As a 23 yr old single male i had sexual intercourse which is protected but unprotected oral to 3 different sex workers in a span of 3 months.
On november i saw a lump on my testicle and got me pretty scared and run to a dermatologist and diagnose it as a whitehead. On the same month i saw red dots on my body so i GOOGLED and voila! Hiv symptoms!it send shivers down my spine and cold sweats appear all over me. Then weeks passed all the changes in my body i attributed it to hiv. I also resigned to my current job cause it affects my productivity at work. There also times i beat myself mentally and constantly saying i screwed up in life.
All the stupid choices i made had gotten me in world of trouble now.
Fast forward to may 2018 i got tested and it turns out NON REACTIVE. The councilor said that it os conclusive because i am way past the window period it is 8 months after my last sexual encounter. BUT STILL I CANT BELIEVE IT OR MY MIND WONT LET ME I STILL THINK I HAVE IT. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM STUCK IN MY ROOM GOOGLING FOR REASSURANCE I AM GLAD TO COME ACROSS THIS SITE I FEEL NOT ALONE ANYMORE.
EVERYDAY THIS THOUGHTS CRIPPLE ME. I CANNOT DO ANYTHING I WANT TO HAVE A WORK AGAIN BUT I AM SCARED TO HAVE A MEDICAL EXAM WHAT IF I HAVE OPPURTUNISTIC INFECTION LYING IN MY BODY WAITING TO BE DIAGNOSED!I AM SCARED REALLY REALLY SCARED. SOMETIMES I JUST CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP OR SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR.
I am suffering from health anxiety thinking that i am infected with hiv for 9 months and counting.
It all started on July to September of 2017.
As a 23 yr old single male i had sexual intercourse which is protected but unprotected oral to 3 different sex workers in a span of 3 months.
On november i saw a lump on my testicle and got me pretty scared and run to a dermatologist and diagnose it as a whitehead. On the same month i saw red dots on my body so i GOOGLED and voila! Hiv symptoms!it send shivers down my spine and cold sweats appear all over me. Then weeks passed all the changes in my body i attributed it to hiv. I also resigned to my current job cause it affects my productivity at work. There also times i beat myself mentally and constantly saying i screwed up in life.
All the stupid choices i made had gotten me in world of trouble now.
Fast forward to may 2018 i got tested and it turns out NON REACTIVE. The councilor said that it os conclusive because i am way past the window period it is 8 months after my last sexual encounter. BUT STILL I CANT BELIEVE IT OR MY MIND WONT LET ME I STILL THINK I HAVE IT. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM STUCK IN MY ROOM GOOGLING FOR REASSURANCE I AM GLAD TO COME ACROSS THIS SITE I FEEL NOT ALONE ANYMORE.
EVERYDAY THIS THOUGHTS CRIPPLE ME. I CANNOT DO ANYTHING I WANT TO HAVE A WORK AGAIN BUT I AM SCARED TO HAVE A MEDICAL EXAM WHAT IF I HAVE OPPURTUNISTIC INFECTION LYING IN MY BODY WAITING TO BE DIAGNOSED!I AM SCARED REALLY REALLY SCARED. SOMETIMES I JUST CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP OR SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR.