boy
30-07-07, 23:08
Right, this demon needs to be exorcised right now...
In June 2006, at the end of my first year in uni I was rather lonely, didn't have the friends I do now. This was just before things turned around and I got a circle of friends and a social life, and I was trawling the social networking site Bebo and looking at the friends of an existing friend (loosest sense). I saw a girl I thought was really cute and different, so I added her and made small talk.
Anyway, this continued into the summer holidays and eventually fizzled out.However, when I came back in September all of a sudden, this girl was the new girlfriend of someone in my friend circle! I'm good at respecting people's choices and privacy so I'll say it now, this demon is not about jealousy at all.
However, me and this girl seemed to get along in person and she eventually realised I was the guy from the emails (either that or played dumb for a while) and sometimes invited me out with her and her boyfriend whenever they went places. During these outings I was worried her bf would ask how I knew her, or that she'd ask why I messaged her in the first place. Basically, I felt like I shouldn't be there and that I was a fraud, even though I genuinely like her as a friend too.
When it came to looking for a new house in January, I asked her if she had any friends who needed a house (I assumed she was sorting something out with her existing housemates) but she instead asked if she could live with us as she was looking for somewhere.
She didn't like the first house we found, but we found an even better one, so I called her back as I knew she was still looking and we needed to fill spaces, and asked if she wanted to see it. She liked it a lot and is now contracted to be one of my housemates next year. She says she's looking forward to it.
Now, here's where the guilt comes in. I really fancy her. She's so sweet and really cute in appearance. She's just lovely. I'm petrified she'll find out from one of my confidents how I feel, or sense it from my body language.
I'm worried she'll think I only wanted her to live with us so I could perve at her all the time and worse, hear stuff, if you know what I mean; by coincidence my bedroom is right next to hers', which would look really dodgy to anyone if they found out how I feel!
Has anyone got any advice on how to cope, or possibly any advice on how to lose these feelings? I feel terrible about it, while my brother and friends say I'm thinking about it too much and shouldn't feel guilty, and that no-one would think I was a perve.
For the record, I'm not a perve and I don't even see her in a sexual way. I think she's a lovely warm person to be around :( I'm gonna find it really hard to enjoy next year if I fancy her and feel terrible for it the whole time (and that's minus my HA).
In June 2006, at the end of my first year in uni I was rather lonely, didn't have the friends I do now. This was just before things turned around and I got a circle of friends and a social life, and I was trawling the social networking site Bebo and looking at the friends of an existing friend (loosest sense). I saw a girl I thought was really cute and different, so I added her and made small talk.
Anyway, this continued into the summer holidays and eventually fizzled out.However, when I came back in September all of a sudden, this girl was the new girlfriend of someone in my friend circle! I'm good at respecting people's choices and privacy so I'll say it now, this demon is not about jealousy at all.
However, me and this girl seemed to get along in person and she eventually realised I was the guy from the emails (either that or played dumb for a while) and sometimes invited me out with her and her boyfriend whenever they went places. During these outings I was worried her bf would ask how I knew her, or that she'd ask why I messaged her in the first place. Basically, I felt like I shouldn't be there and that I was a fraud, even though I genuinely like her as a friend too.
When it came to looking for a new house in January, I asked her if she had any friends who needed a house (I assumed she was sorting something out with her existing housemates) but she instead asked if she could live with us as she was looking for somewhere.
She didn't like the first house we found, but we found an even better one, so I called her back as I knew she was still looking and we needed to fill spaces, and asked if she wanted to see it. She liked it a lot and is now contracted to be one of my housemates next year. She says she's looking forward to it.
Now, here's where the guilt comes in. I really fancy her. She's so sweet and really cute in appearance. She's just lovely. I'm petrified she'll find out from one of my confidents how I feel, or sense it from my body language.
I'm worried she'll think I only wanted her to live with us so I could perve at her all the time and worse, hear stuff, if you know what I mean; by coincidence my bedroom is right next to hers', which would look really dodgy to anyone if they found out how I feel!
Has anyone got any advice on how to cope, or possibly any advice on how to lose these feelings? I feel terrible about it, while my brother and friends say I'm thinking about it too much and shouldn't feel guilty, and that no-one would think I was a perve.
For the record, I'm not a perve and I don't even see her in a sexual way. I think she's a lovely warm person to be around :( I'm gonna find it really hard to enjoy next year if I fancy her and feel terrible for it the whole time (and that's minus my HA).