Blood clots - the latest worry

[bby2018]

My life is currently being ruined by anxiety. I just had my third baby almost 4 months ago. My other children are 18 months and 5 years. I am sure the back to back pregnancies and up and down of hormones have a lot to do with my feelings. Anyway - last summer - right at one year ago, i developed terrible panic attacks. They were everyday, back to back. It all started because I woke up one night with the chills and noticed my legs had a few bruises on them. Google said I had leukemia. So I FREAKED! Went to the ER multiple times thinking I was sick or was about to have a heart attack. My HR was so high at every visit (140s resting). It was an awful time.

It got somewhat better over the next few months after my doctor diagnosed me with GAD. So, anytime I had weird symptoms I would brush them off and accept that it was more than likely anxiety.

For some reason, since the birth of my third, I am unable to brush off the symptoms and they get more and more weird. Just this month I have self diagnosed myself with lymphoma, MS, ALS, breast cancer, and a blood clot. Why? Because I have:
an enlarged lymph node on my neck (doctor dismissed)
painful armpits sometimes (probably due to intense postpartum cycles)
easy bruising (doc ruled out anything sinister with cbc, all was normal)
muscle twitching
right groin pain (random, mostly with exercise)
right calf numb
tinnitus (woke up to a loud ringing in my ear that scared the crap out of me)
woke up to half my chin being numb a couple times (keep falling asleep with my hand on my face, but if you google this its pretty scary!!!)
and I have a round patch of skin on my groin that is slightly discolored, which is why I think I have a blood clot. But it’s so slight no one but me really notices unless you look really hard and in certain lights.
I also have random icepick/cluster headaches. Those seem to come on when I am working (am currently on maternity leave still).

So, as you can see, I have an array of random symptoms that come and go. The latest has been the groin pain and numbness with the discoloration. There is no swelling. Pain is worse when exercising and started after I used our total gym for the first time. I know a logical person would just assume its a pulled groin and maybe the discoloration has always been like that but I am zeroing in on it because I have health anxiety. UGH. I would l like to go to the doctor to rule out a blood clot with ultrasound but I'm sure my family would think I am a freak because I have been to the doctor twice in the past two weeks for other symptoms.

How can I get over this awful episode??

[Scass]

Were you pregnant when your anxiety started last year? I assume you were if your baby is only a few months old. Congratulations by the way!

I was plagued with anxiety during pregnancy and for about the first year after. I didn’t seek help and I do wish I had. I feel like my baby’s first year was dampened by my anxiety brain. Also it’s just such a tough time in general.

Could you speak to your health visitor about this? Are you in the UK? There are so many groups set up to help anxiety in Mums now.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bby2018]

It may have started during pregnancy! If it did, it literally happened the day I conceived lol. So weird. It started about 10 days before my period was due. I only know this because I remember having extreme anxiety on July 4th! My doctor had given me anxiety meds (Ativan for short term and lexapro for long term). The Ativan knocked me out and I felt like the lexapro made me feel CRAZY. Like I was scared I was going insane. It was so scary. Luckily it hasn’t gotten that out of control. It’s more of health anxiety now. Within panic attacks once in a while in the moment I discover my symptoms sound like something life threatening.
I have talked to a therapist some but honestly I just don’t have time for that anymore:(

[Scass]

Absolutely, so hard to find time to do anything for yourself when you’ve got little ones.

You need to find a little bit of time though, even if it’s just some breathing techniques when you’re feeding the baby.

Do you still take the tablets?

And definitely speak to your health visitor. Anxiety in pregnancy and beyond is so common. Nothing to be ashamed of either xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bby2018]

You are right. The thing is - I spend majority of my alone time, and even time with them, googling my symptoms. ahhh!! My kids all go to bed by 7-8pm every night, and sleep through til 8am. So - there is time. I just can't seem to get off of google.

My husband also had an affair a few days before our 18 month old was born. So, a year ago, this was still very very fresh on my mind. The first year after that happened was absolutely awful. I felt so down about myself because of the pregnancy weight and the fact that he went after some young girl (20 years old, I am 26). He is 31. I was soooo depressed. An affair was one of my worst fears, so its almost like the fact that my "worst fear" happened, I now fear everything bad will happen. I also got a very large ovarian cyst in the weeks before the anxiety first happened. The size of a softball. I was in severe pain that not even narcotics would touch for 2 weeks. Then my daugher who was 5 months at the time got sick. Then one of my well known customers unexpectedly died. It was just a series of events that threw me into this awful mess!!

---------- Post added at 18:51 ---------- Previous post was at 18:50 ----------

and no, I do not take any meds anymore. I am too scared.

I have anxiety about taking anxiety meds. ugh.
I am in the US by the way.