Afraid I got bitten by a rabid bat during my sleep [Archive]

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LunarCoffee

11-07-18, 04:59

Hi, I'm 13 and male. I live in Ontario, Canada, and am new to this forum.

Anyway, recently, I've been worrying excessively about having being bitten by a rabid bat during my sleep. I have these weird non-itchy bumps near my armpit that my brain's convinced me are bat bite marks. I've attached an image of them along with the post. The bumps were redder the day before. In case the image quality isn't great, the bumps are around 1 mm in diameter, reddish, and with a tiny darker bit in the center, which makes me think they're bug bites of some sort.

The house I live in is relatively new, and I don't think we have bats, but we've never had it checked as far as I know. I went and slammed on a whole bunch of the upstairs walls many times today, and I heard nothing when putting my ear up to the wall.

So, basically an irrational fear. What makes it worse is that today, my throat has been getting itchy and I can also feel some enlarged lymph nodes, which my brain thinks are the beginnings to rabies. Also adding to that is a feeling that I've been making more saliva than usual, as well as a feeling that I'm holding my jaw lower than normal, both of which are symptoms of rabies that my brain is probably causing.

Also, I've been wondering how common it is for bats to infest a home, what the bumps actually are, as well as how to ease the worrying (besides not googling anything related). I don't have a past history with anxiety or that sort.

Note: my parents say I don't need to go to a doctor (probably right), so I can't really do that.

MyNameIsTerry

11-07-18, 05:43

Looks like you've got some skin irritation or rash. Sweat rashes can look like that.

Maybe it's an allergy issue? Antihistamine might help.

Scass

11-07-18, 06:40

It doesn’t look like any sort of a bite. Your parents are right that you don’t need to see a doctor. Maybe if it gets worse (which I’m sure it won’t) then they will take you.
Perhaps the other things you are feeling are the beginning of a cold or allergies.

You seem like a sensible enough 13 year old, where does the bat fear come from?

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LunarCoffee

11-07-18, 13:17

The bat fear comes from the fact that bats are the most common rabies carriers by far, and cause basically all the rabies deaths in Canada. I've tried to reason with myself that that's because every other carrier has been able to be vaccinated, and that there were only 4 cases, 3 from Canadian bats in the last 20 years, but I guess only time will calm my mind. I've actually had HA for the past few months, with various diseases, though I've always been able to reason with myself, so it never really impacted my life for more than two days. All the cases of me becoming worried again are from me googling things that I shouldn't be.

Fishmanpa

11-07-18, 13:33

All the cases of me becoming worried again are from me googling things that I shouldn't be.

I'm increasingly convinced that technology and especially Dr. Google are a threat to physical and mental health in today's youth and society as a whole :lac:

Positive thoughts

LunarCoffee

11-07-18, 14:03

I'm increasingly convinced that technology and especially Dr. Google are a threat to physical and mental health in today's youth and society as a whole :lac:

Me too, actually. Not only just Dr. Google and their close relative Dr. WebMD, but social media platforms as well. Don't get me wrong, they're still useful and nice to have, but they can also make us think things aren't normal, when in fact they are. In the old times, you'd wake up one day, feel like crap, and think "course I feel like crap right now...," then continue with your work. Nowadays, everyone's posting the best parts of their days, so when you're not having a good day, it can feel really abnormal.

LunarCoffee

11-07-18, 21:55

I also got some non-itchy bumps overnight a few nights ago. They were kinda like pimples (they might have been, I'm not sure actually). I subconsciously picked at them and they formed scabs of sorts. I actually had another one like this a few months prior.

Unfortunately, the bumps were around a centimeter apart, so now whenever I think of them I think "bat bite," which probably wouldn't have looked like this after picking at it.

Also, for me, sometimes, the anxiety will consume me for a few minutes, but most times I can distract myself and do other things, though with a heavy feeling chest (shortness of breath? not sure what it is).

The thing is, I'll be doing my thing, then my brain will be like "oh, hey! I haven't worried about stuff for a-- wait...," and I'll proceed to think about rabies, cancer, prion disease, and all that stuff for a good few minutes before I'm able to calm down. Anyone know how to not have this happen (or limit it)?

Fishmanpa

11-07-18, 22:11

Anyone know how to not have this happen (or limit it)?

Do your parents know you're on an anxiety website talking to strangers about your fears? Have you spoken to them about this? I would talk to your parents and ask for real life professional help. This is no way for a child to be suffering.

Positive thoughts

LunarCoffee

11-07-18, 23:13

Do your parents know you're on an anxiety website talking to strangers about your fears? Have you spoken to them about this? I would talk to your parents and ask for real life professional help. This is no way for a child to be suffering.

I have talked to my parents, but it's not really suffering. When I read other people's posts, their situations are much worse than mine. My HA is kinda like this:

Day 1: discover disease and worry for most of the rest of the day. Can still focus enough to do work and play games, but it's still in the back of my head. Issues falling asleep possible, but not always. I will probably talk to myself and try to convince myself I'm fine.

Days 2 and 3: feel better, but still have a unsettled feeling. I will generally be able to get carried away doing something a few times, but it'll always be interrupted by my brain reminding me I haven't worried, which causes me to worry. Generally no big sleep issues. If a new symptom of any sort appears in these days, I may revert to day 1 for a few minutes/hours (like yesterday, where I thought I was making too much saliva and felt like I was holding my jaw lower and reverted for half an hour or so), but I will return to being not like that after.

Days 4-7: I can distract myself and do daily things without much issue. Every hour or so, I'll get the same "realizing I'm not worrying" thoughts, but they are shorter and I can dismiss them a lot easier. I've never gotten past a week without looking something else up, even though I've said I would never do it again. If I didn't, then I'd probably have the realizations some more, but decrease over time until I'm pretty much normal.

MyNameIsTerry

12-07-18, 04:56

Yes, but anxiety can be Mild, Moderate or Severe. If a medical professional determines your anxiety to be above normal, no matter which category, it's a disorder (providing no normal trigger for such isolated temporary emotions) and therefore needs to be addressed.

There is always someone worse. But do you want to spend time worrying like this when you could just be living without giving a care about such subjects? You should be having fun, learning, growing physically/emotionally/intellectually without all this on your shoulders.

Your age may actually be relevant to these things you are seeing on your skin. Going through puberty a big impact on your skin (something any teenager knows and loathes). Your hormones are ramping up which means more sweating. Skin irritations are common.

I've had similar many times in my life and it's usually in hotter weather. Like raised clear pus bubbles that crust over. They can be popped and crust again. They can be itchy or not.

I suspect it's something like this. It's certainly not a puncture wound from what I can see. And your parents say it's nothing.

You sound like a clever, intelligent young person. You know it's irrational & why. It's just that the subconscious doesn't change so easily and things persist. Look towards therapy techniques for help in dealing with this. And if you are having periods of stress, whether it's school or peer pressure or anything else, this is often a catalyst therefore learning to relax more and having strategies aimed at reducing stressful elements in your life will help.

LunarCoffee

12-07-18, 13:10

Scass

12-07-18, 13:26

My anxiety has been diagnosed as mild too. It certainly doesn’t feel like it sometimes, and if there was something I could have done at your age to help myself, then I would. So, don’t just deal with it, if you have the option of help, then take it.

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LunarCoffee

12-07-18, 13:37

LunarCoffee

12-07-18, 20:07

UPDATE:
At this point, I'm pretty OK in general. The biggest problem now is that my brain now says "hey, I know you don't want to worry about cancer or rabies or whatever, but how can you ignore something like that?" It sounds and looks a lot more stupid after I typed it, but I feel like I'm on the verge of recovering to my previous mental state, like I'm about to close the door on some door-to-door salesman but all of a sudden they're giving me a great deal. It's kind of as if I already am OK, but my brain's trying to drag me back, and in those moments where I believe that I have cancer or CJD or something else again, it feels terrifying. That's about it. :)

---------- Post added at 15:07 ---------- Previous post was at 14:16 ----------

Quick question: if the issues I have no longer concern the initial topic, should I start a new thread?

MyNameIsTerry

13-07-18, 05:21

The thing to consider is not the theme but the reoccurring patterns.

I felt it was unclear how your anxiety affected you other than what you mentioned about it's mildness. But I see you've now got another thread asking about bowel issues and lymph nodes & prodding are also mentioned in there.

You come across as intelligent and well aware of your anxiety, the latter being something many much older than you struggle to achieve. With this in mind, and that your HA jumps theme to theme, it would be wise to invest some time into self help work as with this being mild you might find you can get it to work for you.

Even mild anxiety that is reoccurring with these HA themes should be telling your doctor they need to help you.

Tackle it now before it becomes ingrained. You are still learning and working a lot out about yourself so I believe that is an opportunity to catch it before it starts to stick.

LunarCoffee

13-07-18, 13:22

Also, about a trigger, there was and is one (the same one). Around two and a half months ago, I began having constant brain fog and mental fatigue. Because I had no idea what this was, I constantly researched for possibilities. Sadly, there are an oddly low amount of articles describing the probably actual cause of it, the hormonal changes that come with adolescence. As such, I discovered some pretty terrifying diseases, and worried quite a bit about those. After that, I realized that my worries were just brain stimulation, and that my brain just wanted more stimulation so it wouldn't be bored, and so it was probably getting me to look more things up to fuel the fears. Either way, I kept googling for some reason, and am now where I am.

I mentioned this in a previous post, not sure if you saw it or not. When I realized it really was the googling that was making me the most anxious, I realized that my anxiety was just brain food, and that my subconscious didn't really care if it made the concious anxious, just about the fact that it was stimulating. As such, my brain would try to make me Google more to find out more, to get more information to stimulate my brain. Along with that, I realized that if that's true, then not googling would help stop the anxiety, because that's like denying the brain its source of information. Eventually, it would get bored of thinking about the same thing over and over, and it turned out to be true.

About the lymph nodes, that was around 3 weeks ago (they're still swollen, but that's probably because I touched them 10+ times a day for a week, to the point where they hurt on their own). At this point, the rabies don't matter anymore. The colon cancer is pretty much over with now, because logically, everything is fine. Now, it's up to either me googling, or some other source of information I can't just turn off or walk away from.

Fishmanpa

13-07-18, 13:30

I have talked to my parents, but it's not really suffering.

While I can see your point, you're a 13 year old "child" IMO. You exhibit patterns (started another thread I see) that if not addressed now, will continue to take hold. The fact that your fear brought you to an internet anxiety website speaks volumes that there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression. She came to me when she was 18 and I, along with her mother, made sure she got help. She still struggles years later but she has the tools and support to tackle her anxiety. You didn't answer my question earlier... Do your parents know you're posting on an anxiety website? Perhaps you should talk to them again and show them this thread.

Positive thoughts

LunarCoffee

13-07-18, 14:03

What you're saying is probably true, considering I'm only 13 and don't really know much yet. One thing is, though, after I post a thread, just a few hours later, I kind of feel like I shouldn't have done it. Not because it won't help, but because the fear has already kind of passed. Honestly, I probably should've made a general thread instead of a specific focused one.

The one thing that I really believe is, though, is that my brain won't be truly comfortable until my brain fog and fatigue passes. Deep down I know it's because of hormonal changes, and that I can't do much about it, but my brain just looks for other explainations. Over the last two months, the scale of my anxiety has gone a lot down, as in it's gotten a lot better. It's kind of like expecting to get a Christmas present early, when you're really only gonna get it on Christmas. You know it's fine, but you just "hope" anyways, except it isn't hope, but fear, in this case.

If this ever pretty much fully stops, it will probably be some time after I feel normal. When I'm not worrying about a specific disease, I only really think about my patterns in fatigue. So far, it's been up and down over the course of 3-6 days generally, but I still have a small unsettled feeling when I feel more tired. I doubt this will fully stop, because at this point, it's probably stuck with me for a little bit.

Anyway, back to the question. My parents don't know I'm on this website. I'm not sure they'd react well, but at least they'd know it's still a thing. But about this still being a thing, I feel like part of that is because I'm still on the forums, which makes me think about the stuff I've worried about. There was a time, a week or so, where I didn't google new stuff, didn't go on any site about this, and just overall didn't care. It was great. Everything was normal (except for my brain fog and slightly increased fatigue), with a few minor aware moments. I was able to actually enjoy life and be free, and it was pretty nice. Then I looked up rabies, not even because I was anxious, but because I was curious about the disease itself.

About colon cancer and that thread, I've always had a small fear for it, because my grandma has it (she's doing great), and my uncle died from it before the age of 50 (I think), which puts me at above average risk, or something. That probably going to stick regardless, but right now it's pretty OK.

NervUs

13-07-18, 15:14

Dude (and I said that in my mom voice)...

You are fighting the idea that you have a problem. That's fine, and your choice.

BUt, if it is affecting your life negatively even in the teeniest, tiniest of ways, it might be a good idea to get on top of it, with therapy.

Hate to break it, but life is one thing after another with possible health triggers. Puberty, dating, having children, then your 40s which are just a cruel kick in the backside in terms of lumps and bumps and aches and pains and pressure and stress and responsibility. I haven't made it to my 50s yet, so can't tell you everything that's to come.

If you are feeling this as a kid, there is a VERY GOOD CHANCE that it will dog you your whole life. You might have respite from it, but it has a sneaky habit of coming back and you can't know if it will always be "mild." You seem like an analytical person (you don't seem 13 to me, tbh), and that you are trying to figure out your reactions and your triggers and how it expresses itself in you. That's all great. But, if it's possible, wouldn't it be better to not have a care in the world at 13? I have a son who just turned 14 today is his birthday, and he is like that. It would never cross his mind to worry about something going on with his body. It would never cross his mind to google rabies just because. You might be able to get there on your own, but maybe not. It's very hard, especially if the fear response typical of you begins to escalate into moderate or severe.

It's your call, of course, but if you ever feel like you need help and can't handle it alone, there is no shame in that, and you should get it.

LunarCoffee

13-07-18, 15:26

I've thought about how life is full of health anxiety triggers, and that's definitely true. Maybe anxiety isn't the right word. More like just caring too much, like you've said. I definitely should not have a care in the world right now, but I guess that's just who I am. If I look at myself, I feel like I'm the kind of person that would get anxiety. One thing that I'm doing right now that actually helps a lot is to talk to "myself," but as if I am an audience of people. Sounds pretty dumb, but it helps.

Anyway, I don't feel like I need help right now, it's very manageable. If I do need help, though, I will be sure to ask (though I expect that might be harder than it sounds if the time ever comes). Also, quick question: is seeing whether or not you have symptoms when you're distracted a valid way of determining if they are percieved and not actual?

NervUs

13-07-18, 15:30

Also, quick question: is seeing whether or not you have symptoms when you're distracted a valid way of determining if they are percieved and not actual?

Not really, because symptoms can persist weeks and months beyond when you feel better emotionally. Hypochondria wreaks serious havoc and one of the cruelest byproducts is that you cannot trust your instincts. At least I don't.

LunarCoffee

13-07-18, 15:32

Not really, because symptoms can persist weeks and months beyond when you feel better emotionally. Hypochondria wreaks serious havoc and one of the cruelest byproducts is that you cannot trust your instincts. At least I don't.

Thanks! At this point, I kind of want to stop coming to this site for at least a while. I want to see how I feel. Also, I'm gonna continue reading "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson because... I should probably not be caring so much right now.

:)

Fishmanpa

13-07-18, 21:45

Anyway, I don't feel like I need help right now, it's very manageable. If I do need help, though, I will be sure to ask (though I expect that might be harder than it sounds if the time ever comes). Also, quick question: is seeing whether or not you have symptoms when you're distracted a valid way of determining if they are percieved and not actual?

What you just wrote is a health anxiety pattern to the "H" and the "A"! Acknowledge the post, deny the real problem and then ask for reassurance :lac:

You wouldn't be posting if it were manageable. I think logging off for a while would be good for you.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

LunarCoffee

14-07-18, 03:52

What you just wrote is a health anxiety pattern to the "H" and the "A"! Acknowledge the post, deny the real problem and then ask for reassurance :lac:

You wouldn't be posting if it were manageable. I think logging off for a while would be good for you.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

OK, yup, I am not OK. I was thinking a little too much in the washroom just now, and I realized a whole bunch of things and now I'm all anxious again.

1. My fatigue has been getting greater slowly through the past year or so, so of course that's cancer fatigue.
2. I actually remember feeling like I needed to poop and nothing came out a whole bunch of times before I began having health anxiety, around 4 months ago at first.
3. Like I mentioned in the other thread, I always feel a slight feeling that tells me I need to poop. Thing is, I can't. Until one time I sit down, and it just goes in a few seconds. Even when I'm done, I feel like I didn't empty it all.
4. I can sometimes feel stuff going through my intestines, which I of course imagine are tumors inside my colon (though my poop would probably be really thin in that case). No pain, I can just feel it sliding for a few seconds at a time every so often.
5. I get cramps near my rectum sometimes if I haven't pooped for a bit sometimes, which I assume is normal (if you don't poop, that's probably not good). But of course those are from tumors.

Of course, if anything, it's probably IBS (it's not that uncommon, and it's especially a lot more common than colorectal cancer in 13 year olds), though I don't get pains that much. Sometimes, I'll pass a lot more gas than usual as well. A few times a month, I'll pass maybe 5 times at a 1.5 hour long martial arts training lesson as well (they happen twice a week). Also, I've gotten more tired in those, as well.

At this rate, my cyberchondria has probably turned into actual hypochondria. I should probably get proper support at this point. Probably should've listened to the people who know this all too well. Sorry.

---------- Post added at 22:52 ---------- Previous post was at 20:36 ----------

Looking back on that post I just posted... damn. Anxiety really changes people. Anyway, I'm pretty much fine now, pretty much like before. Still have some undone homework due tommorow, but that's below my worries for now. During my anxiety spike, I talked to my dad, and he kinda got pretty mad (like I expected) because he insisted anxiety didn't really exist, and that I didn't actually have brain fog and that I was just worrying too much (sound familiar?). He calmed down and we actually had a pretty good talk with my mom as well, and now I feel safer. Still, I have that voice saying "you have cancer," but it's alright. That spike only lasted around 45 minutes before I realized I was not myself.

��

Either way, I'm out until I have good or bad news. :)

Scass

14-07-18, 04:14

Really glad you spoke to your parents. Keep on doing that, it will help them if they understand how you feel.

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LunarCoffee

14-07-18, 06:20

Alright, bad news. Turns out the chat was just temporary relief, as with most things. I am back to being pretty concerned about having... colorectal cancer! Why? Because... of pretty much what I've put above my last post that said I was OK. I just tried to poop (the urge was stronger than before), to no avail. I feel like my symptoms describe IBS better than cancer, but the rectal cramps aren't very common, last less than a minute (coming back every 5-30 minutes I'd guess), and happen only maybe a few times a month. I remember having them since Grade 5.

Thing is, when the time comes and I actually do manage to poop... it comes out like normal, within a minute at most, no real effort, while being generally the good kind of poop you'd expect (a few days ago I had an orange-ish poop with some white specks in it, and yesterday I had one that was slightly green, only really noticeable on the paper), though sometimes a bit drier.

Either way, though, the feeling of having to poop is the pretty not great.

---------- Post added at 01:20 ---------- Previous post was at 00:31 ----------

(it's past 1 AM where I am and I can't seem to sleep)

Does not pooping for much longer than you usually do cause the feeling of needing to poop as a side effect?