Don't know if i can face it

[KW]

Hi all

I've been getting on ok (ish) with my social anxiety, although i don't really have much going on in my life and really want to make new friends so thought i'd join a Pilates group at the local village hall. I've spoken to the instructor through email and she said i could start either this thurs or next. I really want to go to this as i get neck pain from working on a computer all day but i'm filled with absolute dread. Apparently there will be 12 people there and i wonder if we'll have to introduce ourselves, then i worry will i look silly going on my own as i expect others will go with friends, then i get shy with people and worried about the actual Pilates itself - wonder if we'll have to sit in a big circle facing each other... has anyone else been to pilates? Could anyone tell me what to expect? I sound so stupid but it's just a big thing to me.

Would appreciate any advice, thanks Kerry x

[Carol_dearest]

Hi, I read your message and just want to say that although I have never been to pilates, I had to go to thai chi. I felt just like you, I didn't know what to expect or who would be there, I was scared that I would go bright red and make an idiot of myself. I worried and worried. I remember walking into a building, confronted by a coffe bar where people looked as if they were waiting and with huge trepidation sat down. My coffee cup was filled and I couldn't lift it as I was shaking so much. Someone said " are you ok?" oh I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I plucked up courage and said that I suffered from anxiety and was there to try to learn how to relax. That person, put their hand on my arm and said, yes me too, I was like you, but then a lot of us are like that. They then called over some others and soon I was just part of it all. No one minded that I took all lesson to get even the first move. Shaking is not helpful when you are trying to stand on one leg.
Everybody laughed with me, not at me. They were kind, friendly and not at all what I had feared.
I have always found that if I tell people of my anxiety, although often they don't understand it, they take extra care of me, because mostly always people have kindness to give.
Why not give it a go? you never know, you may just love it, make new friends and learn Pilates at the same time.
You have nothing to lose, the only time you lose, is if you don't try.
Also, why worry now, it won't change a thing, just make you worry more.
Enjoy today, forget tomorrow, it will be here soon enough.
Write back to me and let me know how you get on.
If you need a friend, you got one right here. Carol.

[Gabby]

Hi Kerry

I do Pilates and its not a touchy feely sitting in circles and navel gazing. i go on my own and personally never felt odd about that. Its just like a normal exercise class. You all have your own bit of space to move in and its in rows just like aerobics and stuff like that. You cant get too close to people cos you need a bit of room to stretch out so you shouldnt feel boxed in.

Once you start to concentrate on the breathing and the movements you'll forget about everyone else there cos its all about focusing on your self and your own body.

I have found it works wonders for neck and back problems (i sit at a desk all day too) cos it helps to realign your spine.

Anyway, I hope you have fun. Let us know how it goes

Gabby xx

[KW]

Thanks both for your advice and kinds words. I'm going to try it and see how i get on. I guess it's the unknown that i'm afraid of but hopefuly after the first time i'll be ok.

Kerry x

[Piglet]

I have always found that if I tell people of my anxiety, although often they don't understand it, they take extra care of me, because mostly always people have kindness to give.

This is soooo true - I made a decision this year that I would tell people if I needed to rather than keep pretending I'm ok and this is exactly my findings too.

That was a lovely post Carol and most encouraging - I totally agree with you, so Kerry hun do give it a go, I think you'll love it.:yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[KW]

Thanks Piglet i'll give it a whirl. I think the other reason i'm dreading it is that when i was younger (about 10 yrs old) i went to modern dance with a friend and the girls picked on me terribly as i was the 'new girl'. I think this has stuck and so hate the thought of having to do things infront of others as when i danced we had to do a routine one by one infront of the group and when it was my turn the girls burst out laughing. I kinda know this isn't going to happen as i'll be amongst adults but that feeling of humiliation has stayed with me i guess. Many thanks for your encouragement and will let you all know how it goes x

[nomorepanic]

KW

You won't have to introduce yourself and people won't even notice you are on your own.

I used to go to an exercise class alone and ended up meeting some lovely ladies there as well! You will soon mingle with people.

[Carol_dearest]

KW, just another thought. I bought a book called 'Feel the Fear and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers. Look in NMP bookshop, if not there, any good bookpshop will order it for you. It is easy to read. It helped me so much, it is inspirational and down to earth. I owe much to this one book. I recommentd it to anyone reading this with anxiety problems.

[groovygranny]

Hello Kerry!

I'm afraid I haven't been to Pilates - but I did start belly dancing classes at the age of 52!

(and if you want an update on that, PM me!)

Here's the thread if you want to take a look!

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=18212&highlight=belly+dancing

It was the first time I ever went to anything like that on my own, without someone for moral support!

If GG can do it - anybody can!!

You just go, be yourself - and enjoy it!

big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[Nibbles]

Hi Kerry,

The feelings you have are all normal and just bring about stronger emotions in you. Every person going to this class will be nervous and worried how they come across. Like you they'll be so busy concentrating on themselves they won't have time to worry about you. :D Also I'm sure you'd expect nerves even if you didn't suffer from anxiety so it's certainly not stupid and you're very brave giving it a go.

Hope it goes well.

Take care,

Mike x

[KW]

Hi all, thanks so much for your kind words of encouragment and advice. I went to my first pliates class last thurs eve and very nearly backed out at the last min but thought no, i'm going to do this. Everyone in the room welcomed me with a nice smile and the tutor was really nice. I was a bit shaky when we had to balance on one leg but apart from that found it VERY relaxing and felt so relaxed at one point whilst lying on the mats that i could have easily nodded off! So i highly recommend pilates for relaxation.

My next challenge is that im thinking of doing an evening college course on anatomy and physiology (to lead to aromatherapy) but again i'm petrified as i'm sure it's likely that we will have to introduce ourselves and i so hate that. I don't want to look or sound stupid if these are people i might make friends with. I'm so scared and am just putting off enrolling due to fear of the unknown

Thanks all again x

[CarpeDiem]

:) Hi KW :)

Bravo! You made it past that crucial 'will I/won't I' moment & it sounds like it was the right move. I'm so pleased you managed to make it to the class & also that you stayed for the whole thing. Good luck with your evening class plan, sounds like you're on a roll!
Take care, CarpeDiem
xxxxxx

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi KW...

You sound like you're doing fine to me...even despite your anxieties you went to the Pilates class. Well done for that. Build on this success for your other classes and don't be too discouraged by any setbacks.

Maybe you could try a little self-disclosure. Let others know how anxious you feel as this is a new experience for you?
See what kind of response you get.

Take care