Howdy

[Frankie23]

I was with my ex partner for 7 months but the past month he has been off with me, would leave me for days without a text etc etc which absolutely drove me crazy as well as hurt / confusion.

Last week i had it out with him over text i asked 'Are we ok', he said 'Dunno are we ok' so we continued to text and i decided enough is enough. Now i feel ive gave up on him to soon.

The problem is he has depressive episodes i.e he has been absolutely amazing the past 6 hence why i noticed a change in his behaviour. Normally i wouldnt give up to easily but heres the catch he loves his drugs on a night out he can take up to 10-15 ecstasy pills as well as smoking dope. 'he smokes it most nights'. I did feel i was winning a loosing battle, ive turned my life around. Although i didnt do that many drugs just a handful of times following the death of my mum i know that you have to want to give up to get better and I feel he would never do it. He complains he has depression but using mind altering drugs is going to cause that.

Suppose what answer I was looking for is whether I did right in just walking away? Its hurting me so much but in the long run i know ive probably saved myself further heartache. Im not eating that much, i had an anxiety attack this morning on the bus which resulted in the bus driver calling for an ambulance. Im just so messed up and see no light at the end of the tunnel. Ive changed for the better and I just need that extra push in the right direction I just dont know which way to go.

[Lilith1980]

Hi,

It sounded like you didnt really know where you stood in this relationship and you are right - HE has to want to give up the drugs, you cannot persuade him to.

From what you have said about your panic attacks and your own anxieties, I personally think you did the right thing by calling it a day. You have to look after yourself first and foremost and if your partner isn't in a frame of mind to be able to support you, and is more likely to drag you down, then its not going to be good for either of you.

You made the decision that "enough is enough" and it sounds like you knew there were problems. Its better to go with your gut instinct I think. It can't have been nice, not knowing where he was and thinking you had done something wrong.

I think maybe its time you concentrated on yourself - to look after you. If your ex wants help he will seek it but you cannot try and support him if its making you feel bad.

Hope that is of some help.

Take care hun :hugs: xxx

[Lindalou64]

Hello.
Sorry Your Going Thru A Bad Time Right Now,know One Can Really Tell You Wether To Leave Him For Good Thats Your Choice But In My Opinion Right Now Hes In His Own World A Place You Left And Maybe You Should Just Let It Be For Now,like Ya Said Ya Have To Wanna Stop Know One Can Make You,i Know Its Hard On You But In The Long Run It Will Just Get Harder And Harder Until He Can Make That Decision What He Wants...right Now Focus On You As Much As Ya Can And I Wish You All The Best.........linda X

[Frankie23]

I suppose I have saved myself a lot of aggro for in the future and it is time i concentrated on myself if im honest he didnt deserve me, alot of people have said that and now he's blew his one a only chance. Ive cut contact with him for now just so I can have some me time and in the long run he will find out on what he has missed out on. Onwards and upwards and no looking back.

Thanks for the advice and continued support its good to have it all out instead of keeping it locked in x

[Lindalou64]

Good For You Frankie For Staying So Positive..wish Ya Well........linda X

[GrafGrau]

I think you have made the right decision, there comes a point where you have to put yourself first. One of the bad habits of good people is to prioritise others first and that is cool for a while. However if the focus is always on others, "me time" starts to fade away and there is no recharge of your "batteries".

Stay positive and think what you want for you for a while and please don't do drugs its like throwing oil on a fire.

[Frankie23]

I think you have made the right decision, there comes a point where you have to put yourself first. One of the bad habits of good people is to prioritise others first and that is cool for a while. However if the focus is always on others, "me time" starts to fade away and there is no recharge of your "batteries".

Stay positive and think what you want for you for a while and please don't do drugs its like throwing oil on a fire.
Ive learnt my lesson I took them as a way of escaping the pain of loosing my mum 'finding my mum dead' but it was the wrong thing to do I would never go back to that stage in my life again and il advice anyone never to do them. Its been well over a year since i had anything.