Struggling Again with Health Anxiety

[IreneRumi]

I had a really good month and a half - REALLY good actually, as my now-fiance and I managed a whole 1.5 week trip to Scotland, where he proposed! I managed the trip so much better than I expected, with tons of walking, socializing, plane rides, and normal travel stress. We also had a busy month with two more weddings back home, and lots of socializing and physical activity like biking and swimming. The morning nausea seemed a thing of the past as I started just having smoothies for breakfast and eating more food later in the day.

However, this week has been increasing difficult leading to me throwing up this morning (mostly bile/acid and one spoonful of oatmeal). I was anxious starting Sunday night, and felt queasy every day, eating small meals and trying to get enough food. I felt so upset on Tuesday after work that I looked up a counselor and made an appointment for next Tuesday. I felt emotional and teary every day Monday through Wednesday, as well as headachey, lots of tension in my shoulders and neck, lots of queasiness and stomach upset, and weird tingling and twitching in my arms and legs and torso. I felt like I was doing so well for a while that its so upsetting to have this happen again. :(

My fear of course is that this is not anxiety but something more. I have had these symptoms (the nausea and vomiting being the worst) off and on since October when I had my first scary panic attack (or was it??!). I just want to enjoy eating and doing normal things. I dont know why Im so upset this week - my birthday is tomorrow and I just want to be happy and relaxed. My fiance has been so wonderful and loving, and I just want to be a good partner.

Any advice for the long term anxiety struggle? I dont want to go on medication. I know I need to have a better diet (mostly able to get down sugar and carbs right now). Ive tried meditation and yoga, and exercising more. I just feel so anxious about my health even though I appear to be a healthy 25/26 year old in the doctors perspective. Im terrified of having a stroke (my biggest fear), or being unable to eat. I'm scared that something happen to my brain or vagus nerve or heart (Ive had an MRI, EKG, EEG, blood tests) that is causing the nausea.

[Scass]

Congratulations on your engagement!
I’m so sorry you’re suffering. So what did your doctor say about your vomiting before? Does it happen every day? How long did it stop for? Why do you think it stopped?
Sorry for all the questions x


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[IreneRumi]

The vomiting happens maybe once every two weeks to a month, so not especially often. Its happened three times in the last two months, twice in the morning and once in the evening when I was very upset about something. Usually it happens on an empty-ish stomach, not a full stomach when I tend to feel fine, and its just bile/acid and dry heaving. The doctors thought it was anxiety and maybe acid reflux, I went on prilosec for a little while and it didnt seem to do much. Usually I just feel queasy without throwing up, and it tends to go away by 10 am or after some food. But sometimes the queasiness hangs around all day and I have to eat small meals and drink smoothies to get past it and still get food. The longest stretch of time it was gone for was a month, basically all of June. I was pretty busy that month and active and I think more distracted from the anxiety. I also adjusted my diet to just have a smoothie or oatmeal for breakfast a couple hours after waking up.

But then two weeks ago my partner was out of town for a night and I had terrible insomnia and threw up after eating some crackers in the evening, and then dry-heaved the following morning and ended up staying home sick from work. That seemed to re-trigger the queasiness and the last couple weeks have been tougher. My birthday is tomorrow and I think Ive been anxious this week because of that somehow... just sad about not feeling well for my birthday and worried about how long Ive felt low. I used to love eating and cooking, and food/eating without queasiness or thinking about my health has somehow become such a challenge.

After retching this morning Ive managed to finish my oatmeal, eat a smoothie, protein bar, pear, and some almonds. My stomach feels okay now - instead I have this horrible tension across the back of my shoulders, neck and head like I'm being squeezed.

Also thank you for your response!

[IreneRumi]

Anyone? :)

[IreneRumi]

Its my birthday and I cant stop thinking about my health and feeling so anxious. I'm only 26 I should be enjoying life. :( Instead I broke down and spent hours googling about stroke symptoms and TIAs due to the traumatic episode 8 months ago. Not one of the 10 doctors including 2 neurologists thought it was a TIA but I'm STUCK worrying about it and dreading a future where I have a stroke or heart attack. My partner and family deserve better from me. Feeling so depressed about all of this.

[AMomentofClarity]

Its my birthday and I cant stop thinking about my health and feeling so anxious. I'm only 26 I should be enjoying life. :( Instead I broke down and spent hours googling about stroke symptoms and TIAs due to the traumatic episode 8 months ago. Not one of the 10 doctors including 2 neurologists thought it was a TIA but I'm STUCK worrying about it and dreading a future where I have a stroke or heart attack. My partner and family deserve better from me. Feeling so depressed about all of this.

Sorry to hear you’re having a rough birthday. Worrying what your partner and family think is just going to magnify your anxiety. It would be practically impossible for 12 doctors to be wrong....almost as impossible as a healthy 26 year old having a stroke or heart attack. I know it’s much easier said than done, but you have to look at the facts. Go out and have a good time, get off the Internet and enjoy your day.