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Ginna10
13-07-18, 07:08
I'm 41. Male. Father of 2. I worry about everything, always have and I've always worried about health bit even more so since my step dad passed away last year from lung cancer.
I had what I thought was a spot on my upper back, I tried to squeeze it but couldn't and then over a couple more days it seemed to become more pronounced. I tried to scratch it and made it sore but then it felt hard, small but hard and now sore.
I panicked and hit doctor Google, not a good place to start looking. Everything screamed cancer, hard, seemingly immobile lump anywhere on the body. I went into complete worry mode. I booked into the GP to see the Nurse Practitioner. At my appointment I told him everything including my worry that it was something sinister. He gave me some cream and when I told him of my anxiety he just said "he couldn't tell either way but if it was still worrying me a couple of weeks to come back. What a great help he wasn't. Another day of worrying and doctor Google and I rang a helpline on cancer research, talked to a cancer nurse and went through everything. She listened and she asked a few questions. How old was I? Where is the lump?
She reassured me that for someone of my age to develop cancer would be very unlikely but also and probably more importantly that the upper back was just not somewhere that a cancerous lump would present itself. This reassured me, for a couple of days. Now the nagging doubts are creeping back in, "what if she lied? Why would she? It's cancer I know it is, but she said she'd bet her house it wasn't."
I seem to go through this cycle of doubt constantly.
And if I go back to my GP I am definitely not using the Nurse Practitioner again.

MRS STRESS ED
13-07-18, 08:32
oh bless you l can totally relate to you l too lost my dad to lung cancer and my best friend too bowel cancer in the same year ,cancer seemed to be all around me its all l could think about, it was on adverts on telly just felt suffocated by it the word cancer it made me shudder my anxiety was out of control ,l went to see doctors like yourself for reasurrance,but l realised the only person that could stop this thought was me, its so hard l know but l had to tell myself that wasn't me and keep reinforcing that belief, it always creeps back but thats anxiety its a bitch hope you can try and get some peace and keep telling yourself you're ok l do daily take care :hugs: