Anxiety about life / feeling very old!

[stella55]

Hello,

I am feeling major anxiety about my life and my future. I am 26 years old, and I realize this is fairly „young“ but I don’t feel that way. Actually, I’ve been feeling „old“ even since my teenage years. I remember being 16 and feeling anxious about finishing school in 2 years, which felt like saying goodbye to my youth. Things got slightly better when I started studying at university, I had something to do and something to focus on: getting my degree. Afterwards it started going downhill again. I constantly feel the pressure to enjoy my life and I feel like I’m „not using my time right“ or „wasting my time“ and in return, I turn into panic mode which leaves me paralyzed and then I’m not able to do anything at all. And the funny thing is, I’m not even sure what „using my time right“ even means. The inspirational quotes that you can find on the internet are a major trigger for me. They say things like „enjoy life“ or „travel more“ or tell stories about how the old and dying people are sorry for their missed opportunities, etc. I know these things are supposed to be motivating, but they have the exact opposite effect on me – I start feeling depressed because I think I’m not doing enough and messing up my life.
I recently stumbled across the term „executive dysfunction“ and I think thats definitely what I have. Sometimes I want to do activities but get stuck playing games or watching documentaries on TV and feel really guilty in the evening.

Whenever I think about my age, it’s driving me crazy. I feel jealous of people who are always relaxed and feel comfortable with their age, no matter how old they are. I still think there are certain things you won’t be able to do once you’re older because of possible health issues, lack of energy etc. and therefore I feel like I’m running out of time. And it’s especially crucial for women because our biological clock is different than men’s. And this gives me even more pressure because I feel like I should be settling down very soon and create a family in addition to building up a good career.

Even writing all of this down gave me a lump in the throat!

What do you guys think? Is this a common issue? Does anyone have any advice for me?
Thanks in advance!

[GiantMogwai]

I think this is normal.

What kind of documentaries do you like?

What games do you play?

What activities would you like to do?

Do you like exercise or sports?

Do you like going on holiday? If so where?

If there is one part of your character that most defines who you are what is it?

Have you got a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Do you want to get married?

Do you want to have kids?

There are no right or wrong answers even if you can't answer, or don't want to answer.

It is your life. It is your choice.

It will never be perfect, but it can be good.

What would you most like to do and what is stopping you?

If you are consumed by apathy try one thing new. Ultimate Frisbee is fun. Some art galleries are fun. Some streets or cafes are fun for people watching.

Bugger the ads, the sayings, the pressure, just be you.

Nevermind the regrets. We all have regrets.

I have one that I had the power to change. One game of rugby I wanted to play and I didn't ask the coach to put me on. That is something one can regret, not ifs or buts or what have yous or alternative lives.

---------- Post added at 15:23 ---------- Previous post was at 15:19 ----------

p.s. regarding inspirational quotes the following site is good at defusing those. I go here sometimes when all that inspirational stuff gets too much.
https://despair.com/collections/demotivators

[pulisa]

My daughter could have written that. She's 27 and "running out of time".

As for "inspirational quotes".....most of them are a load of utter crap.

You are you and you can decide what you want to do/not do. You've got your whole life ahead of you-take your time and don't feel pressurised to follow the sheep.

As for "using your time right" there are no rules and you have the choice to use your time as you wish. There is so much pressure on young people these days but I'd say just stay as you are and don't attempt to change for anybody. If you want to try different things do them because you want to do them and not because you feel you must "conform".

[jray23]

I have similar feelings at times too. I'm 36 now but in my 20s, besides the random biuts of health anxiety, I lived completely care free and coasted through everything. Then now in my mid 30s here I am wondering if I missed out, wasted time, didn't save enough money, etc. I am big into self-help books and such so those motivational type things were a double-edged sword. Sometimes they help and sometimes they make me feel bad!

I'm starting to learn to not get too wrapped up in those, and to ignore anything that gets too involved in "You should XYZ". We're all different. No one can reasonably say how we should live. I also start to think of all the things I have done rather than what I may or may not have now missed out on. I.e., not filtering out the positives and magnifying the negatives.

Besides, no matter what we've done or not done in the past that part is over, we can only do today!

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[Fishmanpa]

How's this for some reality?....

I'm less than a year away from six decades of life. Essentially, the last ten+ years of my life have been a blur, seemingly dreamlike and not exactly pleasant. Two heart attacks, bypass, stents, Stage IV Head and Neck Cancer and then, when it seemed I was coming out of it, my wife took seriously ill. Add to that major financial issues due to the illnesses and holy &&$~

Now, two years out from her illness, it seems I've woken up to the reality of being in the Fall of my life. My wife is disabled due to her illness and I'm the sole bread winner and financially we live week to week, month to month. My body is beginning to fail me. Besides all the side effects of treatment, arthritis and other age related niggles are a constant reminder of my age.

I keep hoping to hit the lottery but like many here who fear ridiculously rare illnesses, the reality of that happening is equally as rare (I did win $7 dollars this week :) ~lol~)

You're in an unusually opportunistic place in your life. Take advantage of it! My advice is to set goals and make a plan so that you can rest easier as you grow older. I had goals but lacked that plan. Put the pieces in place now so you don't end up where I am. I can tell you from experience, the older you get, the faster the time goes by.

Concerning inspirational quotes? The "Positive Thoughts" (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=173453) thread is something I started a few years ago. It's something I did for myself and have been doing it since the late 90's. The quotes I post are the ones I find in my inbox every morning. I take them as a reminder to live life instead of observing it. Things are SO much different now. People are glued to their devices. Kids don't play like I did growing up. I literally see toddlers playing video games instead of playing make believe! I see adults observing life through their phones and it seems more important than actually experiencing the moments.

Looking back, I have some regrets. We all do BUT... One major thing I have no regrets about is pursuing music as a career. I didn't make millions but I made a living and most of all, I did and am still doing something I love and have a passion for. The quote in my signature says it all.

"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

IMO, enjoying your work/career is more than half the battle in life. Having stared death in the face, I can tell you that quote, those words, are what keeps me going and helps me maintain a positive attitude. I don't fear death, I fear not living the life I have! Worry can’t do a thing. It won’t bring in a penny. It can’t put a crust of bread on the table or add 5 minutes to your life.

Positive thoughts