Constant cancer/life ending illness panics

[Mummyto3]

Hi I'm new here and have been reading some similar stories and feelings that I'm having.
I've always as far back as I can remember ive been an anxious person. I over think and worry about everything,the last few years I would say it's mainly been health anxiety. I go though bouts of it and then feel okay for a while. Since having children it has been far worse, I think though fear of leaving them. The lastest health concern I have is lung cancer. About a month ago I was bringing up tiny specs of blood in my phlegm about once a day for a few weeks I was also suffering from a chest infection I went to the doctors and was given antibiotics ,this did clear it up but did not make then panic go away. The last few days I've been having upper back ache so this has just been me 100 times worse with this anxiety. I am 12 weeks pregnant and also have 3 other children so I know the likey hood is it a just strain from all the changes going on but logic doesn't work when you have health anixety. I just want to feel normal and not like I'm wasting my life away worrying about dying ! I'm worried if I go to the doctors and explain about the anxiety they won't take me seriously with any health concerns I go to them with and if someone is wrong it will be missed I need help but I just feel helpless.

[jojo2316]

Congratulations on your fourth baby!
And I can relate. I was pregnant with my fourth when I developed a severe fear of lung cancer. A chest infection that didn’t clear, flecks of blood, etc. And my pregnancy made my fear SO much worse as I felt I needed imaging tests but couldn’t access them. It was AWFUL. But that was five years ago and I’m still here! (Although sadly not free of health anxiety!!)
Good luck!

[NervUs]

I think being a mom/parent to minor children magnifies health anxiety, as it just adds a whole new layer onto that question of what mortality means. When I am in panics, that's where I really trip myself up-- thinking through in all this detail what life would be like for them. That is not to mention the additional fears of them getting something serious or the responsibility of keeping them safe.

It is not easy to get a handle on but, if fear is taking you away from them (like in terms of being able to focus, have fun, live in the moment, plan for the future, be functional), then the HA is maybe even worse than having a mom with an actual disease. I know I have scared my kids at times with my reactions to things. It can be a constant struggle to keep it together but I have found that figuring out how to mute panicked reactions makes it easier and easier to have less intense panicked reactions, as time goes on. Being human means we are going to face weirdness, like you are feeling with your lungs. (BTW: about 2 years ago now, I started having a lot of lung trouble, I coughed for like 8 months out of 12, and I had to use medication to make the cough go away, and it turned out I had adult onset asthma, possibly related to hormonal change, and you are pregnant, so that is just a thought!) So, we need to figure ways to encounter a weirdness without automatically jumping to death. I think for some of us, our brains crave that drama, possibly because we don't have enough other stimulating things going on. I definitely get in a better head space when I have other problems to work on, good problems that is (for me like how to grow my business but it could be other things for other people).

Hoping you find relief for your psychic pain and the back pain. I know it sucks to feel aches and pains close on the heels of a panic, but that is just ALWAYS how it goes. It could be you are more sensitive to pains, or that your mind is causing the pain. I had (and still get) a ton of back pain while I was going through my asthma diagnosis process (which took flipping forever) and I was also being legitimately tested for sarcoma. That was rough, since of course all you can think is mets. But, it was not mets for me, it was also not sarcoma. OUr minds just take off at the tiniest suggestion.

[tracieann]

hi there Ive had HA for fifteen or more years now Ihave always worried about cancer and other diseases that could make me die young cos my son has autism and i felt i couldnt leave him no matter what you would not believe what ive put myself through over the years the nights ive cried not slept days i ve not eaten not gone out at this present moment i fear pancreatic cancer more than anything BUT one thing i have to say to you is its a waste honestly its a terrible thing we have HA but we are living our lives in fear when we arent even sure torturing ourselves with very little evidence we are only here once we need to try focus on other things like with you enjoy your beautiful family these things are could bes not are take care