twenty one jumpsuits
16-07-18, 03:47
Here it goes, feeding my anxiety I suppose. Why not rhyme when you’re scared you’re gonna die.
I’ve seen two doctors. My lymph nodes and salivary glands are perfect. They’re not swollen/enlarged. I was freaking out about this ball in my cheek but the doctor today assured me that it’s a salivary gland, lymph nodes aren’t located there and that because I’m skinny you can obviously feel it more.
Time for my next worry. What i’ve forgotten to mention to both doctors, and what I actually just realized about an hour ago, is that either my lymph nodes or my salivary glands hurt. You know you’re jawline? Well if you feel that bone, and then reach kind of on the other side of it, there’s lymph nodes. Or salivary glands. I’m not a doctor man I don’t know. So that area right there, that hurts. If I don’t touch it, it hurts. It’s not that much. But if I press on it, then it hurts more. So just a few seconds ago while typing this, I reached there and felt a ball, and when I pressed it, it hurt. So I’m guessing that’s the cause. When I move my head around sometimes- oh boy I’m literally gonna freak right now haha. Sometimes I can feel a sort of- thing there. Both sides. And it also hurts with certain movements. Now I’m scared that the doctor today didn’t feel that painful ball there. Is it enlarged? It feels small-ish and hard. I had a blood test done, I don’t know, two months ago and it was perfect. They would’ve seen something, right? But why do I keep getting “sick”? Why do my salivary glands/lymph nodes/weird balls keep hurting every now and then? I mean, I never really cared about it before but I started freaking out ever since I had a very strange anxiety panic episode thing one night.
Edit: Okay si scratch that thing I said about the weird ball that I felt. Under..? my jawline. It’s all tender to the touch. I think. Is it all the balls there that hurt??? Oh my what in the weird is happening.
Is this anxiety? Is my anxiety causing them to hurt? They’re not enlarged. I don’t think so. But why do they hurt? Is it normal? Is it cause I’m touching it too much so now it hurts? But why do I feel a “ball” when I move my head? And why does that hurt? Am I just imagining it? Are the doctors missing something?
I’m seeing another doctor next week. Call me crazy. I likely have a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I may have allergies. I may have mold in my house. I get a runny, itchy nose often. A sore throat often, too. Just some other info. Man, am I gonna die? ‘Cause I’m sitting on the bathroom floor right now crying for the fiftieth time this week and it sure does feel like it.
I’ve seen two doctors. My lymph nodes and salivary glands are perfect. They’re not swollen/enlarged. I was freaking out about this ball in my cheek but the doctor today assured me that it’s a salivary gland, lymph nodes aren’t located there and that because I’m skinny you can obviously feel it more.
Time for my next worry. What i’ve forgotten to mention to both doctors, and what I actually just realized about an hour ago, is that either my lymph nodes or my salivary glands hurt. You know you’re jawline? Well if you feel that bone, and then reach kind of on the other side of it, there’s lymph nodes. Or salivary glands. I’m not a doctor man I don’t know. So that area right there, that hurts. If I don’t touch it, it hurts. It’s not that much. But if I press on it, then it hurts more. So just a few seconds ago while typing this, I reached there and felt a ball, and when I pressed it, it hurt. So I’m guessing that’s the cause. When I move my head around sometimes- oh boy I’m literally gonna freak right now haha. Sometimes I can feel a sort of- thing there. Both sides. And it also hurts with certain movements. Now I’m scared that the doctor today didn’t feel that painful ball there. Is it enlarged? It feels small-ish and hard. I had a blood test done, I don’t know, two months ago and it was perfect. They would’ve seen something, right? But why do I keep getting “sick”? Why do my salivary glands/lymph nodes/weird balls keep hurting every now and then? I mean, I never really cared about it before but I started freaking out ever since I had a very strange anxiety panic episode thing one night.
Edit: Okay si scratch that thing I said about the weird ball that I felt. Under..? my jawline. It’s all tender to the touch. I think. Is it all the balls there that hurt??? Oh my what in the weird is happening.
Is this anxiety? Is my anxiety causing them to hurt? They’re not enlarged. I don’t think so. But why do they hurt? Is it normal? Is it cause I’m touching it too much so now it hurts? But why do I feel a “ball” when I move my head? And why does that hurt? Am I just imagining it? Are the doctors missing something?
I’m seeing another doctor next week. Call me crazy. I likely have a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I may have allergies. I may have mold in my house. I get a runny, itchy nose often. A sore throat often, too. Just some other info. Man, am I gonna die? ‘Cause I’m sitting on the bathroom floor right now crying for the fiftieth time this week and it sure does feel like it.