andgentili
17-07-18, 17:45
Hi, I am an italian guy of 27 years old and since the beginning of 2015 I have been suffering from a series of scaring symptoms that are basically ruining my life.
I must say first of all that I had experienced health anxiety before, since 2010: during the years I have been through an endless amount of medical examination, always due to physical symptoms (e.g. dizziness and incredible pressure at both temples - when I had fear of a brain cancer or vibrating feeling in my back when I was scared about lungs cancer etc... - i can mention 10 other episodes...) but in these situation the symptoms and linked health anxiety lasted 2-3 months at most.
Going back to the point, it was February 2015 on the last day of my internship after university and I started feeling a weird sensation in 2 fingers of my left hand and after a bit, being so anxious about health, I noticed they were twitching with small movements.
Unfortunately I could not avoid to google these symptoms and of course what came out was ALS and MS most of all. No need to say that I started panicking.
From that moment my symptoms developed a lot: i started twitching everywhere (from head to toes) even in the most unthought parts of my body (inner ears, nose, tongue, lips, feet, but most of all in my legs and arms - biceps above all- and of course fingers still).
Along with muscle twitches (which I' not particularly worried about) I got a series of other symptoms that change during the time and make my life a hell since then:
- legs weakness (even if I have been told that is just perceived)
This weakness comes and go like a wave (even during the same day), but due to my fear of moving what I've been experiencing lately this year is that if I do some physical exercise (even very soft) or just climb the stairs or if I lift something that has fallen on the floor, this feeling of weakness starts together with internal shakiness of my legs and sense of unsteadiness. Is anyone experiencing the same?
- legs rigidity and mild numbness in my calves sometimes
- feeling like having a stone under my foot (mostly my left one) - probably due to hyposensitivity under the foot itself - it's always in the bottom of my foot but it varies from the from the from to the side of the foot.
- feeling of unsteadiness while walking and feeling of loss of balance ( i say feeling cause my neurologist said it's not objectivizable
Because of what I experience after exercising I cut out every kind of physical activity (including climbing the stairs, when i can take the lift) and you can imagine how this frustrates me.
During these 3 years I went to 5 neurologists, done 2 EMGs, 1 brain MRI. Always negative, and I've always been told it's anxiety and to start doing physical exercise and not worrying.
I'm still terribly worried about some illness like MS (not ALS anymore due to the passing of time and not symptoms worsening).
I've been in treatment at a psychotherapist for 5 years now (in the beginning it was psychoanalysis, now CBT) and I found a bit of peace with a medication Cymbalta that I have taken for a period of 1 year and a half, then stopped.
What I can say for sure is that these symptoms follow my anxiety level, in the last few months I've been waking up in the morning with a heavy feeling of anxiety and during the day the symptoms are always present, even if I don't exercise at all.
Can this just be anxiety? What I fear the most is MS even if all my neurologists told me my symptoms are not even close and all of my exams are ok.
Has anyone else gone through this too?
Than you very much in advance
Andrea from Italy
I must say first of all that I had experienced health anxiety before, since 2010: during the years I have been through an endless amount of medical examination, always due to physical symptoms (e.g. dizziness and incredible pressure at both temples - when I had fear of a brain cancer or vibrating feeling in my back when I was scared about lungs cancer etc... - i can mention 10 other episodes...) but in these situation the symptoms and linked health anxiety lasted 2-3 months at most.
Going back to the point, it was February 2015 on the last day of my internship after university and I started feeling a weird sensation in 2 fingers of my left hand and after a bit, being so anxious about health, I noticed they were twitching with small movements.
Unfortunately I could not avoid to google these symptoms and of course what came out was ALS and MS most of all. No need to say that I started panicking.
From that moment my symptoms developed a lot: i started twitching everywhere (from head to toes) even in the most unthought parts of my body (inner ears, nose, tongue, lips, feet, but most of all in my legs and arms - biceps above all- and of course fingers still).
Along with muscle twitches (which I' not particularly worried about) I got a series of other symptoms that change during the time and make my life a hell since then:
- legs weakness (even if I have been told that is just perceived)
This weakness comes and go like a wave (even during the same day), but due to my fear of moving what I've been experiencing lately this year is that if I do some physical exercise (even very soft) or just climb the stairs or if I lift something that has fallen on the floor, this feeling of weakness starts together with internal shakiness of my legs and sense of unsteadiness. Is anyone experiencing the same?
- legs rigidity and mild numbness in my calves sometimes
- feeling like having a stone under my foot (mostly my left one) - probably due to hyposensitivity under the foot itself - it's always in the bottom of my foot but it varies from the from the from to the side of the foot.
- feeling of unsteadiness while walking and feeling of loss of balance ( i say feeling cause my neurologist said it's not objectivizable
Because of what I experience after exercising I cut out every kind of physical activity (including climbing the stairs, when i can take the lift) and you can imagine how this frustrates me.
During these 3 years I went to 5 neurologists, done 2 EMGs, 1 brain MRI. Always negative, and I've always been told it's anxiety and to start doing physical exercise and not worrying.
I'm still terribly worried about some illness like MS (not ALS anymore due to the passing of time and not symptoms worsening).
I've been in treatment at a psychotherapist for 5 years now (in the beginning it was psychoanalysis, now CBT) and I found a bit of peace with a medication Cymbalta that I have taken for a period of 1 year and a half, then stopped.
What I can say for sure is that these symptoms follow my anxiety level, in the last few months I've been waking up in the morning with a heavy feeling of anxiety and during the day the symptoms are always present, even if I don't exercise at all.
Can this just be anxiety? What I fear the most is MS even if all my neurologists told me my symptoms are not even close and all of my exams are ok.
Has anyone else gone through this too?
Than you very much in advance
Andrea from Italy