looking4answers
02-08-07, 06:47
Its been awhile since I have been here..I aplogize ..I was getting better or thought so ..I learned to just shrug many things off although I still suffer problems..I try not to panic..
Tonight is different..I woke this morning with a creepy feeling.I havent been able to shake it..Its been hot here lately so that could have a lot to do with it..Not normally hot usually pleasant but unseasonably hot here in the last few weeks..
I woke with this creepy feeling..went back to sleep and then woke again.I got up and got something to eat and felt weird..I came back and laid down and felt that I couldnt breathe very well.I have felt this before and usually because no air flow in the house.
I laid here a bit and got up and got going doing other things and it seemed to subside.I just had this anxious feeling I couldnt shake like something bad was going to happen.I had been worried for a month or so about dying..
I know that sounds weird out of the blue and im not a supersticous person but my mother died in july 11 years ago my dad in jan 14 years ago and my brother at age 44 almost 25 years ago..
Well you can imagine the worry that I experience in the "j" months.I know this seems silly but well I kind of do and then there are years I dont even think about it.Yes we are still out in the middle of nowhere and I have been really really busy doing thing that keep my mind occupied.
Lately I have been slowing down a bit one reason due to computer issues another well things have kind of been well.. put aside for a bit.I made it to August and so well that was kind of off my mind and then I just had a bad feeling come over me and couldnt shake it.
I got up went outside and did some work and came in and was out of breath..this has happened alot lately but they say thats normal in high altitude when the humiditity is up..Says it knocks the wind right out of you.
I turned on the hose and watered some and my right arm got really weak and my breathing was really out of sorts from walking around.Second day this has happened to me..Out of breath with no real reason..Came in rested a bit and seemed ok.But my right arm felt weak still and it took it awhile to get over that.
My left fingers were cramping and I could hear my pulse in my head which well for the last year hasnt been to terribly different.I work on the computer alot and lay on my left side and then hold my neck and head up and lean to type. I Know that is bad posture..but well tonight my neck and head and arms and legs feel stiff and cant figure out why.
I have been out of breath many times today doing laundry and my mouth has a funny taste in it..I also have been having cramps in all my muscles but no real heart related symptoms other than shortness of breath.
I talked to a nurse friend and she said sounded like anxiety again.I have been under stress a little lately more than usual and well.. feeling alone and distant from everything and unhappy.After two years here still dont feel at home..but afraid to go anywhere else..
Today I had a nervous anxious feeling all day .. like I acutally was going to die..Usually its easy to blow off and it wasnt today .The more I exhurted the more out of breath I became but well like I said high humidity and the hot temps I guess it could cause it.
I havent been on here in a long time..Keep my mind as active as I can unfortuntaly not my body as much as should..I work on the computer a lot and well most of that is in bed..Do you think that maybe i was just stressed today and feeling scared which made everything feel worse or there could be a possibility that there actually is something wrong tonight?
Im really worried and can't seem to shake it.My skin feels stiff and my body is getting spasms all over.My heart rate seems to be ok with an occassional missed beat but no more than ususual.I think that the heat and humidity is maybe the culprit.Even my wife mentioned it was hot and humid and she never says anything .I didnt say anything to her but said yes.
Could I really be dying tonight and not know it or could it all be my imagination? I can't really put my finger on any one feeling but many ,mostly the creeps i cant seem to shake.I start feeling better but then it hits me again to not to feel to much better because there is something terrible wrong.Should I just try to ignore it and go on and try to feel better or what?
I havent been to the doctor in awhile but really havent felt the need to go..I feel like I always have with the exception of the last few days..Last time I was there she said that my heart was sound my lungs clear and I had a nurse that used to be around us alot and she told me that I didnt have the symptoms of heart disease or anything else really but I havent been around her in awhile..
So hope there is nothing wrong but if you can give me some support here and tell me what you think I would appreciate it.I know that its been a long time and its a long post but thank you for reading it and hope you can give me some positive response..Michael
Tonight is different..I woke this morning with a creepy feeling.I havent been able to shake it..Its been hot here lately so that could have a lot to do with it..Not normally hot usually pleasant but unseasonably hot here in the last few weeks..
I woke with this creepy feeling..went back to sleep and then woke again.I got up and got something to eat and felt weird..I came back and laid down and felt that I couldnt breathe very well.I have felt this before and usually because no air flow in the house.
I laid here a bit and got up and got going doing other things and it seemed to subside.I just had this anxious feeling I couldnt shake like something bad was going to happen.I had been worried for a month or so about dying..
I know that sounds weird out of the blue and im not a supersticous person but my mother died in july 11 years ago my dad in jan 14 years ago and my brother at age 44 almost 25 years ago..
Well you can imagine the worry that I experience in the "j" months.I know this seems silly but well I kind of do and then there are years I dont even think about it.Yes we are still out in the middle of nowhere and I have been really really busy doing thing that keep my mind occupied.
Lately I have been slowing down a bit one reason due to computer issues another well things have kind of been well.. put aside for a bit.I made it to August and so well that was kind of off my mind and then I just had a bad feeling come over me and couldnt shake it.
I got up went outside and did some work and came in and was out of breath..this has happened alot lately but they say thats normal in high altitude when the humiditity is up..Says it knocks the wind right out of you.
I turned on the hose and watered some and my right arm got really weak and my breathing was really out of sorts from walking around.Second day this has happened to me..Out of breath with no real reason..Came in rested a bit and seemed ok.But my right arm felt weak still and it took it awhile to get over that.
My left fingers were cramping and I could hear my pulse in my head which well for the last year hasnt been to terribly different.I work on the computer alot and lay on my left side and then hold my neck and head up and lean to type. I Know that is bad posture..but well tonight my neck and head and arms and legs feel stiff and cant figure out why.
I have been out of breath many times today doing laundry and my mouth has a funny taste in it..I also have been having cramps in all my muscles but no real heart related symptoms other than shortness of breath.
I talked to a nurse friend and she said sounded like anxiety again.I have been under stress a little lately more than usual and well.. feeling alone and distant from everything and unhappy.After two years here still dont feel at home..but afraid to go anywhere else..
Today I had a nervous anxious feeling all day .. like I acutally was going to die..Usually its easy to blow off and it wasnt today .The more I exhurted the more out of breath I became but well like I said high humidity and the hot temps I guess it could cause it.
I havent been on here in a long time..Keep my mind as active as I can unfortuntaly not my body as much as should..I work on the computer a lot and well most of that is in bed..Do you think that maybe i was just stressed today and feeling scared which made everything feel worse or there could be a possibility that there actually is something wrong tonight?
Im really worried and can't seem to shake it.My skin feels stiff and my body is getting spasms all over.My heart rate seems to be ok with an occassional missed beat but no more than ususual.I think that the heat and humidity is maybe the culprit.Even my wife mentioned it was hot and humid and she never says anything .I didnt say anything to her but said yes.
Could I really be dying tonight and not know it or could it all be my imagination? I can't really put my finger on any one feeling but many ,mostly the creeps i cant seem to shake.I start feeling better but then it hits me again to not to feel to much better because there is something terrible wrong.Should I just try to ignore it and go on and try to feel better or what?
I havent been to the doctor in awhile but really havent felt the need to go..I feel like I always have with the exception of the last few days..Last time I was there she said that my heart was sound my lungs clear and I had a nurse that used to be around us alot and she told me that I didnt have the symptoms of heart disease or anything else really but I havent been around her in awhile..
So hope there is nothing wrong but if you can give me some support here and tell me what you think I would appreciate it.I know that its been a long time and its a long post but thank you for reading it and hope you can give me some positive response..Michael