Any advice for the lost?

[gauss101]

Just come back from the docs and he's put me on beta blockers and I'm already on valium, although I was in the process of reducing them. He also suggested seeing a psychologist as I have "issues". Doesn't everyone.
The thing thing is that I can wait for a couple of months for the NHS or go private.
If I go private will I be seen quicker? I don't want to be doing this for a long period as the thought of facing personal demons scares the cr*p out of me and also talking to a complete stranger. If I wait for the NHS then I assume that as time is an issue we would try to get to the nub of the problem quicker. Or am I just being naive?
I can't talk to friends about this, or my wife, because what tends to happen is that you end up getting some half ars*d home spun philosophy thats unproven, or the inevitable "Well, thats the way life is" which can be interpreted as "Pull yourself together".
Any ideas?
By the way Groovy Granny has been a tower of strength and support.
Tel

[happyone]

Hi there

facing your demons can be helpful, but it hurts. I would be interested to know if you know what they are, or have a good idea? I am not asking what they are, it is just that I think you will be in a better position to explore them if you have an inkling before going.
It can help to sort things out in your head, especially when those around you give you well meaning platitudes, but they don't know how hard it makes things.

He also suggested seeing a psychologist as I have "issues". Doesn't everyone.yes, we do all have issues but we all deal with them in different ways, and very often people reckon they have dealt with them but their present behaviour shows that they haven't. Also, one persons issues, do not match anothers, as your issues are yours.
It is like if a person says to you "I know exactly what you are talking about" No they don't! They have a good idea as they have experienced something similar, but not the same.
Someone on here once pointed out to me that I needed my experiences validated. That was oh so true. To have someone say 'how did that feel for you?' can be very liberating as you can say 'it felt like hell, it felt like crap etc etc'

Good luck with whatever you do eh?

happyone
xx

[neptuno]

Hello,
I think seeing a psychologist is a great place to start. You will be seen quicker if you go private - also you get to choose someone you feel you can work with. From personal experience I found working with an EFT practitioner more helpful because you are in control of what "issues" you face and treat and its not just a talking shop, you really have some control over what is happening to you. If you want to get in touch I can give you more details about how I went about it.
Be kind to your self
Be kind to yourself

[gauss101]

Issues are difficult to define. As a chld I was physically knocked around by my father. But to justify it for him, thats the way things were done in the 50's and 60's. Emotion was NEVER displayed, so hugging or displaying affection was very discouraged. Failed first marriage but not for any of the previous resons. Didn't achieve any sort of potential until my late forties when I had the epiphany that I am not thick and stupid at all and even might be gifted. Went off and did a degree and became a teacher of maths.
There probably isn't anything there that hundreds of other people could recognise in themselves but to me some of my past is a nightmare that I really don't want to revisit but I know it has to be done.
In a lot of ways I have been very lucky. I was never sexually abused, just physically and, probably, emotionally and I know that there are a lot of people far worse off than me.
That also creates the problem of guilt because I feel weak and feeble in comparison to other sufferers. All rational thought seems very confused at the moment and I feel I could benefit from some professional advice.
Thanx for the thoughts.
Tel

[KittyKate]

By the way Groovy Granny has been a tower of strength and support.


Amen.

Hope you feel better soon OP x

[Nibbles]

Hi Gauss,


That also creates the problem of guilt because I feel weak and feeble in comparison to other sufferers.

That is a very common thought but one which isn't helpful or true. When I think that I try to tell myself that 'this thought isn't helping me move forwards so replace it with one that does'. The thought isn't true because you've proved you can do things such as the degree.

Try to look at a psychologist as someone who is there to help you live a happy life. Yes it is difficult talking about bad experiences but it's also no barrel of fun dealing with anxiety so if it makes us better it's worth doing.

Good luck in what you decide.

Take care,

Mike

[PUGLETMUM]

:) has anyone read or heard of a book called the 'road less travelled'? if not i would recommend this book for anyone in the process of trying to'find' themselves, and lets face it most people with anxiety are trying to find themselves. its written by a pshyciatrist so it is talkinfg about therapy and spirituality and the struggle we are all going through in life. reading this book would be a good start before you embark on any course of therapy i think. i have had therapy of one sort or another and it all helps to get us to a better place. emma