I'm a terrible mum.

[belle]

I feel so crap.

Yesterday i went to my sisters after work with my mum. She was sitting there saying how it was her mission in her life to make her childrens childhood as wonderful as possible (she has 3 children. 7,6 and 3). She then told me that today she's taking them to Chessington theme park, next week to Madame Tussauds, then to a Harry Potter "thing", Tower of London...and that is just to name a few. They've already done the London Eye, a Star Wars exhibition and the Science Museum. She bought them a new Play Station machine, they go out of Lunch almost everyday. EVERY SINGLE DAY they do something "wonderful" and "Fun".

I was sitting there as an messed up agoraphobic feeling sh*t. Sorry, but thats how i felt. I can't do anything with my son. I don't take him anywhere, not even to the shops now. I am crap. He will look back at his childhood and compare with his cousins and think that i couldn't be arsed to do things with him.

I feel so sorry for him. I know he's bored, but what the hell can i offer him? "Hey Stinky, lets watch television".......i am pathetic.

x

[Paddington]

Hu Bluebell hun:hugs: you are not a crap mom..you are ill!As for your sister..could she not include your Son on some of these days out??Maybe she is the crap one:ohmy: soz hun but it infuriates me,when family dont help..mine never have either hun:mad: it is as tho they cant see why we cant do certain things,so dont bother trying to understand..your Son loves you Hun..and will remember a warm loving mom..you dont have to go loads of places or have lots of things hun to feel loved and protected..i was as poor as a church mouse when my kids were small and we didnt go to places ,maybe the local park....occasionally:ohmy: My sisters never offered to take my 3 anywhere either..but my kids love me and know they can call on me anytime they need reassurance and love..so i think that's better than going on the bloomin london eye:yesyes: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[groovygranny]

Hi Bluebell!

I absolutely agree with Paddie.

Children are very good at picking up things we aren't - and your son knows he's loved and cherished by you....and he doesn't have to be at Alton Towers or Chessington to know it.

He will look back and think "yeah, my mum was ill then - but she still did her best for me and loved me".

Bluebell, you're giving your son something that cannot be bought or put a price tag on - unconditional love and committment. Sadly too many children don't have that nowadays.

Big hugs for you

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[belle]

Hi..
Thank you for answering me.
My sister has said that my son could go with them....BUT.....i would have to buy the £300 chair thing that would need to be bought so my son could fit in their car...its basically like another set of seats, and even IF i could afford that, i certainly haven't got the money to pay for my little man to do these things. Its a catch-22 situation. We're poor, unlike them :(

My son does know he's loved (ADORED). Right now, he's upstairs hiding from me, waiting to be tickled!!!!!!! I can hear him giggling to himself...

I wish i was well enough to fight this.

x

[yorkylover]

Hi bluebell
You put your self down,you are a great mum and your son knows this.Lots of families cant afford to give there children them sort of treats through the holidays and Im sure your son would be happy to do anything with you.
You are certainly not pathetic.Make him a den in the garden,or get one of those cheap little tents,bet he would love to camp out.Like groovy granny said you give him love and commitment.:hugs: :hugs:

[jo61]

Sounds to me like he's just as happy being tickled by you as going to a theme park!!

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Bluebell, well I agree totally with the things everyone else have said. You don't have to be taking your children out and spending lots of money on them for them to have a happy childhood.

Like you I am also agoraphobic and my son spent his whole childhood missing out on going to all the same things you have mentioned. I also have a sister who has two younger children and they have spent their whole lives being whisked all over the world to wonderful and exotic places. I have to say there are times when I have been envious of them, I mean who wouldn't want to holiday in places like Mauritius or the Seychelles.

However a lot of parents are poor financially and can't give their children the things they would like to. What's important is that you love your son and by the sound of it he knows he is loved too. I think this illness makes us all feel very guilty when we compare ourselves to other people.

[Granny Primark]

Please please dont even think of yourself as a terrible mum.
Love for your child is true love, the sort money cant buy.
Trust me Ive seen children that have had everything off their parents including love. But theyve grown up to be selfish and disrespectful. I used to think money bought everything. Thats so not the case. Sometimes children have too much of everything and when theyre adults and realise life isnt all about taking it comes as a shock to them.
I agree with Lyn this illness makes us feel so guilty and worthless.

Take care
LYNN xx

[Jaco45er]

Wow Bluebell and I thought I was having a bad day.

Listen, Don't put yourself down, being a good mother is nothing to do with loads of expensive days out all the time.

Just because your sister spoils her kids that's her call, in this world where kids get far too much to easy no wonder they lose sight of the proper values in life.

Being a good parent is doing the right things, and that does not mean constant expensive days out.

And £300 for a seat? what she got a rolls royce? £300 for a friggin seat I used to buy 4 seats and the whole car for that (mind you, was 20 years ago)

I am feeling particuarly agitated today (bad anxiety day) so I am more likely to gey annoyed with the so bloody perfect middle class muppets and their perfect little spoiled kids.

Sounds to me like your wee lad is happy, and thats the key.

Jaco

[Paddington]

A child was walking alone down a road....a wise man went up and asked him..why are you sad?,,because i have nothing..was his reply:weep: What would make you happy child..asked the wise man...I want lots of nice things ..gold and treasure..said the boy...So be it said the wise man sadley.A little later he saw another child .alone and sad...Why are you sad child..he asked.Because i have nothing...what do you what to make you happy the wise man sighed....your hand to hold the child replied:) So he held his hand ..and the child was happy....the boy with the treasure and gold carried it like a biurden for a long time till he saw it did not bring him joy or comfort.He went home and hugged his parents for tho they were poor their love was worth more than all the riches he had had bestowed upon him.As for the child who held the hand of the wise man??He grew into a very wise man himself:D Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx