Im I going mad?

[Sal x]

Hi Everyone,

I had a baby 4 months ago and everytime I get stressed or tired, I have thoughts like "what if I go mad under the pressure of having a baby to look after and end up killing him"

This then leads to a panic about the fact that all my family will hate me for doing such a horrible thing and I would go to prison and I would be on the news and lose all of my friends and family............etc

I convince myself that it must be going to happen or that I must want to do it if I have thoughts about it.
Has anyone else ever had such horrible thoughts or am I on my own?? I feel like a complete freak and think that if I tell anyone, they will take my baby away. I love him so much which is why I get so upset about the thoughts.

Any advice would be much appreciatted.

Sal
:sad:

[raphael]

Hi have u spoken to your doc or midwife about this or a good friend. These thoughts are just thoughts and say to yourself `as if' or its as likely as me having green skin and pink hair. There are lots of places that could offer you help. Having a baby is tough but you will get through and things will improve. Please speak to somebody either your health visitor, doctor or someone you trust
x

[Laurie28]

I had PND with my 2nd son and my thoughts were EXACTLY LIKE YOURS. You arent going mad and please remember they are just thoughts.
My HV asked me at the time if the thoughts upset me... I told her of course they did! She told me that alone was proof that I wasnt a bad person and wasnt going to do anything bad to my son.
I was petrified I would, really really scared and even put objects on my bedroom floor in case i sleptwalked and hurt him (thinking I would trip over them and wake myself up)
Very scary but please be assured that you wont do anything - the fact alone that you have posted how upset you are says it all
See your GP it sounds like PND. These thoughts are purely anxiety

[Paddington]

I agree with every one else hun..they are just thoughts and cant hurt you or your baby..put them in the right place..out of your mind..fear breeds fear,and the more power you give these thoughts the stronger they get..so when the thought comes in to your head ..laugh .laugh out loud at how absurd it is..then the fear cant take control..this is somthing they use in nlp..paul mckenna uses it alot..you know sort of the headmaster aint so scarey if you imagine him naked or sitting on the loo:ohmy: .....:blush: :D many congrats on the birth of your baby hun..enjoy it:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Filthy1]

hey, that could be perfectly normal anti natal stuff, load of women get thoughts like that after having a baby! infact I watched an Episode of scrubs where they talked about it hehe!

If not, check out the OCD stuff on here, that might make more sense to you.

But doont forget to speak to your doc/midwife too.

[vix100]

Hi Sal - I started having the exact same thoughts when my son was around 2yrs - i was terrified at the time and didn't even want to be alone with him. Then i started to understand it a bit more and realised how common it is in new mums. When i first went to see my gp, i was so ashamed and frightened at telling him the problem but he was great and referred me to see someone. I still have unwanted thoughts now (2 yrs on) - when my husband was away the other night i kept worrying that i was going to sleep walk and hurt him. Becoming a mum brings so many new emotions which are mixed with tiredness etc - not a great combination. I would go and see someone - the more you know about it, the better equiped you are to deal with it. It's not something that's widely talked about between friends etc, is it, 'cause you don't want to scare people but i think you'll find it's much more common than you think. I found that out from this site and what a relief it was. Please try not to upset yourself and you're not alone. Vix

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi,

me too! i have had this and it is truly an awful place to be, i hope you are comforted now that you are not alone and that none of the people who felt the same ever hurt their children, all the best emma