Relax

[Jaco45er]

Does anyone struggle to relax?

As soon as I even think about relaxing my heart races. Even at the weekend I layed in the sun, closed my eyes and within 5 mins was up as all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears.

Infact, I would even go as far to say trying to relax makes me aggitated.

The only time I am truely relaxed is when I have a drink but that's hardly an option everytime I want to relax a little.


Jaco

[bottleblond]

yet again, i'm with you on this one. I'm one of these people that when i concentrate on my breathing and try to relax, i just end up making myself worse.

AND.....


I'm the same when i have a drink, i feel like i can let my hair down, relax and become more "normal" for want of a better word!!

Wish i had a book of answers for you mate but i'd be a zillionaire if i did!
Just though i'd let you know your not on your own.

Tc sir Jac

Lisa
xxxxxxxxx :hugs:

[Jaco45er]

Hiya blondy

Yes the breathing thing, all that does for me is make me aware I am anxious and has the opposite effect.

Still, the alternative is not breathing and I don't fancy that ;)

TC

Jaco :hugs:

[bottleblond]

pmsl :ohmy:

xx

[Coni]

Oh yes jaco...me too....I hate weekends...holidays really stress me out...and I cant get the hang of these relaxation cds at all. I tried reiki once but as soon as the girl told me to empty my mind that was it....off I went, thoughts spinning, heart pounding, trying to pretend I was relaxed so the poor therapist wouldnt think it was her.

Having a drink does help but even one or two sometimes leaves me feeling worse afterwards so I dont know if its worth it really...and I dont want to rely on meds forever to keep me on some sort of even keel.

If you do find the answer let me know please ?

luv Coni XX

[happyone]

Jaco,
you tried guided relaxation or meditation cd's?

I can't relax if I try to tell myself to do it, but if a little voice in my earphones is...I can!

Happyone
xx

[DieAlteHexe]

Yup. I, too, have great difficulty with breathing exercises. They seem to trigger me more than help me. What I've found works better for me is to just tell myself to breathe any way I want to. If I do diaphramatic breathing when I'm anxious it increases my symptoms, escalates matters quite rapidly.

So, I don't do them (deep breathing) when I'm anxious. I do them daily when I'm not figuring it can't hurt and that I might get past the "deep breathing when anxious makes things worse" thing and that knowing the technique may come in handy some day.

Too, focusing on relaxing tends to tighten me up. I've found it works rather better for me to say "Meh. Anxiety." and go do something else. I haven't had any full-tilt attacks in quite awhile which is great progress. I do still have days where anxiety is very high but it hasn't gone past annoying in a long time.

Now, if I could just convey to my shoulders that they really don't need to be up around my ears, we'd be doing swimmingly. :P

[Kroko]

Yes the breathing thing, all that does for me is make me aware I am anxious and has the opposite effect.

Ditto.

[Ellen70]

I'm the same. Especially with the type of anxiety exercises where you are told to clench and relax each part of your body individually - it only makes me more aware of how tense I am. Also with deep breathing exercises, each time I do take a deep breath and release it, I end up taking half a dozen short sharp breaths right after doing it.
I do use relaxation cds but just the ones with soothing music on them. I have a couple of hypnotherapy ones but I just put them on to hear a person's voice when I am lonely (how sad am I?) or when I need to be distracted from my thoughts.

Ellen

[Gabby]

I'm like that too honey

dont like taking hols from work, cant do long baths or anything that means i have to stay still and quiet for any length of time.

I decided i am more relaxed when doing something mundane and/or repetitive to keep me occupied otherwise brain wanders and latches onto anxious thoughts. Other people think that i just dont stop but im better that way

no point trying to do traditional relaxation things if they dont work for you. wont always work for everyone. whatever helps you take your mind off things is good.

g xx

[tulip123]

I can never relax. Perhaps its good habbit to get into when one is well and then it might become more automatic when suffering from anxiety. I need to keep active to stay sane. Unfortunately we need to relax to get sleep at night so I guess it is important. I find breathing exercises helps calm those adrenalin kicks but like some of you it only mkes me more aware of my problems.

Tulip

[nicktaylor]

Hi folks,

This is one of my worst problems too. I tried doing Yoga once, but after the class had finished, they wanted everyone to lie down on the floor and that's supposed to be the most relaxing part. I just kept wanting to get up and run away because I felt all panicky.

It was the same when I had some reflexology... I managed to relax in one of the sessions and actually fell asleep, but for most of the time, I just got more anxious every time I tried to let go.

The reflexology woman was very good though, she explained that it was because when you're anxious you constantly want to control everything - your muscles, your breathing, everything... When you try to let go, you're not used to that feeling of complete relaxation, so get anxious at the sensation of relaxing.

Being aware of that doesn't really seem to help me though - I can go for a massage, which will ease my muscles a bit, but then within an hour or so I'm all tense and aching again. So frustrating!

[Tom_M]

Listen to free meditation when on your computer.
just click on "Click HERE to begin your meditation", after choosing one of the audio files.

http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm

Very good free site

[Jaco45er]

I have tried all the tapes n stuff, sadly they just don't do their magic on me.

THe only time I do feel relaxed is about an hour after being to the gym.

I was reading about some chinese herbal remedy you can take for relaxation (at considerable expense) but I am pretty sure its the same chinese remedy for indgestion, piles and bunions.

I would have a relaxing holiday, but going on holiday stresses me out lol.

Jaco

[groovygranny]

Hello Jaco!

Now, like you I feel more relaxed either during or just after I've exerted myself and, under different gender circumstances, I would reccomend you take up belly dancing......... but I know you'd probably rather trim your toenails with a cheese grater than consider that an option so......

What about 'pretending' you're on holiday? No, don't laugh - I've tried it and it actually worked!!

A few years ago, me and dahling hubby purchased a luvly old dilapidated caravan, circa 1965, called 'spiganuff' (cuz it was big enuff for us!) anyway, to cut a long story short (cuz this is your thread not one of mine!) we were able to store it in the grounds of the school I work in across the road from our house. We hooked it up to the car intending to go away for a well-deserved long weekend (couldn't manage a week cuz car would never have lasted pulling it for that long!)

Well, the darn thing wouldn't budge and the car conked out!!! We were so disappointed but then GG had a light bulb moment! Why didn't we just 'pretend' we were on holiday for the weekend? Dahling hubby went along with it cuz he's used to a life of 'GG moments' (which is probably why we've stayed married for 30+ yrs!) and we had a real ball!

We didn't answer phone-calls, we ate out every evening we either went to the cinema or vegged out in front of the telly, we went swimming, we got tipsy (well, ok drunk! this was pre-nmp days lol!) and more..... we did everything we would have normally done had we been on holiday! And not a stress or a frazzle in sight!!

Well, don't know if that's an option you may find worthy of thought - but just wanted to sort of throw a different light on things for you because I don't have any other advice or recommendations for you.

Here are some hugs anyway

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[Lindalou64]

HEY JACO,
I DONT KNOW HOW TO RELAX,EVEN WHEN I GO TO BED IM NOT RELAXED TAKES ME HRS EVEN WHEN IM DEAD TIRED TO FINALLY FALL ASLEEP..MY MIND RACES ALL THE TIME.....AND THE HEARING OF YA HEART YES I DO THAT ALSO WHEN IM AT THE BEACH.ONLY IF IM ALONE THO GUESS CAUSE IM CONCENTRATIN ON IT RATHER THAN TALKING TO SOMEONE.....GUESS WE NEED TO LEARN SOME WAY SOME HOW TO RELAX YES IVE TRIED MANY TAPES ALSO.WISH YA THE BEST...........LINDA XXX

[manmoor]

* Wonders * * Thinks it's an aviator problem *

[pips]

I know what your saying I to find it hard to relax and a times get that restless leg symdrome which is a pain in the bum!:mad:

When you are relaxing try not to think about relaxing if that makes any sense :shrug: just let in come naturally. Try reading or something to distract your thoughts. I find if I lay they and say to myself I must relax it never happens! I end up even more stressed! LOL:wacko:

Take Care,:flowers:

Love Pip's X

[Jaco45er]

Thanks for the comments Pips and Linda :)

Mandy, I don't get many pleasures in life, but the thought of my aviator winding you up? well it just warms my heart ;) xx

GG, I love your wee stories, its so comforting knowing there is someone madder than me out there ;) :hugs:

I am off to Dorest for a few days, any normal person would be looking forward to relaxing, we shall see.

Jaco

[Nibbles]

Hi mate,

I remember reading somewhere once that relaxing can cause anxiety because of the fear of letting go. In my opinion relaxing doesn't have to be about lying down and feeling it's suppost to happen. Instead a hobby can bring you relaxation. With you it's going to the gym whereas with me it's my photography.

Hope the holiday goes well mate, tell me all about it when you get back.

Take care,

Mike

[Greeneyed]

I also struggle to relax - But just this year I have found the one thing which I have been looking for GARDENING - it may sound sad but I can spend hours out there playing with plants and my brain switches off totally - I just know it is so good for me!

Walking in the wooods also helps, but gardening is the key - give it a try!