View Full Version : Depression

Andrew Sinclair
02-01-05, 14:48
Hi all, its not often that i post, but i have been so down over the last few weeks, and after such a long period of ups!.
I was chatting to Nic just a wee while ago and saying that i was prepaired for the next down, that it was all a matter of time. WRONG! nothing can prepair you huh??? I hate being negative, but it happens to us all, i have not thought of suicide for such a long time, but its back, as well as wanting to run away, i dont want to have to spend any time with anyone, i just want to beat myself up, i want to hate myself so much , i wish i could just fall asleep, and awake dead.
Sorry all, but thats it that is just how i feel, i dont want help, nor sympathy, i just want an easy way out, to give those i love the chance to have thier lives back.
Nic i love you too so much, you have allways been a best friend, but i am lost.

02-01-05, 15:18

Sorry you are having a bad time mate. I know that you have been doing so well to fight the depression and thought that it was all behind you now.

Is it Xmas that has brought this back on again? Are you feeling generally low at the moment?

Julie and the family do love you for who you are and I am sure they try to support you the best they can.

You will not go back to how bad you were last time cos you are stronger now and you have the job to go to as well.

Sending you a big hug and lots of love and I will catch you on MSN later for a chat.



02-01-05, 15:38
Hi Andrew

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment. You are right, I don't think anything can really prepare us for feeling so low again. I know when the depression hit me hard again this time, all the thoughts of suicide and wanting to die descended on me again even though I thought I wouldn't feel that low again.

I realise that nothing anyone says will really change the way you're feeling right now. The total despair is too overwhelming to see any way out. But try to remember that you have come through this in the past and you will find the strength within you to get through this too. It seems like you have had a long period where you have felt better so try to hold on to that and believe that you will be able to feel the ups again.

I have had to fight against feelings of wanting to end it all and go to sleep and never wake up on several occasions recently. I do understand how bad you must be feeling. The only thing that stops me is thinking about how much hurt I would be causing to my family and friends. I know you feel your loved ones would be better off without you, but that's the depression talking. I think you know they would be devasted.

Something someone said to me was that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Although I didn't really care a few months ago because I just wanted an end to my pain. But when I think of it now I realise it is true. I might feel that my life is hopeless a lot of the time, but there is always the remote possibility that things will get better. You have had some better times and you can get there again.

Try not to lose hope.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

02-01-05, 16:29
Big hug to you Andrew
You'll get through this

Take care mate

Love Elaine x

Andrew Sinclair
03-01-05, 19:09
Thanks for your kind words, still hard but, i'm still here.

03-01-05, 19:52

I came on MSN just as you went. If you to call then you have my number ok?

You can do this ok and you will for the family and above all for you.

Please take care of yourself ok.


15-02-05, 20:11
Hi Andrew-I hope you are doing better. I have been feeling BLAH today, if there is such a thing. I can't describe how I feel. I am just not with it today. I felt good yesterday. With this condition there are always ups and downs. Today is my down I guess. I am at work so that shows that I am able to function but I can't seem to concentrate and do any work, I do a little bit here and there, luckily there isn't someone constantly over me watching everything that I do. This morning when I woke up I felt uneasy and the feeling has continued although I have been trying my best to ignore it. Well how I feel now is nothing compared to the way I use to get. Are you on any medication for the depression? I am on Paxil CR, that also help me with anxiety and panic. UGH, those feelings are the worst. I am listening to a CD program called Attacking anxiety and depression. I am on my third week. I joined this forum during the first week in that program. I feel pretty good for the first 2 weeks but today I am just down, I guess is could be worse. At least I am here. I don't have thoughts of suicide but I do think, if God were to take me, that's fine. Thankfully I don't feel that way right now. Well take care and I do hope you are feeling better.
Sorry if I am rambling, it just one of those days.


15-02-05, 20:22
Hi Marilu

Nice to see you here.

Andrew doesn't come on much but he is a friend so I will let him know that you replied to your post - I am sure he will be pleased and reply back.



Andrew Sinclair
17-02-05, 22:45
Hi everyone, i am back, nearly as good as new, well still struggling if the truth be known, but hey arn't we all.
Thanks to all who sent me messages, i know its hard, and its a struggle every day, however i do see the light a long way off again, but it is there, and when you are feeling as low as i was you must belive, that light is there, it never goes out, you just don't want to see it perhaps.
Thanks again so much, especially as you all have so many troubles of you own to contend with, but are allways caring enough to worry for others. you are all superstars.
Nick you are a complete darling, thats why i love you forever. XXX

18-02-05, 19:32
Glad to hear you are doing so well Andrew.

I am so pleased that things are getting better all the time.

Big hug



18-02-05, 23:17
Hi Andrew

I'm glad things are starting to improve for you. I know it's hard to come back from being so low, however you are getting there.

I hope things continue to improve for you.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

21-02-05, 20:01
Hey Andrew, glad to hear things aren't so bad for you at the moment. I can totally understand what you are feeling, as I have just gotten over a bad period of depression involving a lot of suicidal thoughts and self harm, but things are looking up for me now also.
Good luck for the future,
Hellie x

ps. I was attracted to the thread as we have the same last name... just thought I would point that out. I'll stop rambling on now.[:I]